NFL Live Blog week 11

I wanted to go with a thanksgiving theme for my myriad of aesthetically pleasing lady pictures this week, but to be honest it is hard to find pictures of women dressed up like Native Americans.  The problem isn’t there aren’t that many pictures like that on the internet. I’m sure there are. The problem is that most google searches will either give you pictures of hot women who are in real life of native american descent, or it will give you pictures of hot Indian women from India.  Oh and don’t get me started on the staggering amount of Disney porn you find when you google image search for “hot Pocahontas” .

I did my best however  and since I’m up early today I’m going to preload the blog with all of the photos I was able to find and then I’ll just fill in my live blog around the photos.  You might also be wondering why I feel the need to insert pictures of hot women in a blog post about NFL.  Well. Boobies are awesome. That’s my answer.

This morning I have the choice between the bills v steelers games or washington v minnesota so I’ve decided to go with the battle of  way past their prime QBs on not their original teams.  aaaannnndddd I fell asleep for most of the first half. I did wake up in time to see Adrian Peterson get hurt and limp off the field.  I’m sure there are at least three or four vikings fans across the country who didn’t immediately start crying  about their savior purple jesus getting hurt.

London Fletcher is all over the place.  I wonder if he hated his weird ass name growing up. I’m trying to think of some creative insults involving his name but I don’t know that much about London other than it’s foggy and was the setting for Sherlock Holmes homoerotic adventures with Watson.

Vikinigs D is making Donovan McNabb look like the McNabb of old.  So what should I order for Lunch today?  I’m leaning towards some yummylicious green pepper and red onion pizza.

Sweet. The announcers were just talking about Ed Hockulie’s massive guns.  If I was him I’d constantly ask people if they have their tickets yet. The tickets to the gun show.  then I would kiss each of my biceps lovingly.   I would also ask people if they heard about the snakes that escaped from the zoo.  Then I would flex and say that it was a pair of pythons on the loose.

This game is puntastic. Wait.  maybe that should be spelled punttastic otherwise you might think I was talking about puns and not punts.  What I’m trying to say is that there’s been a whole lot of punts in this game and almost no puns as far as I can recall.  Hey the voice of Archer on Archer is now voicing some other guy on a new fox animation show…. that looks god damn terrible.  I’m not sure if fox knows this but you should try and make your previews look humorous when attempting to advertise a new comedy series.

That is a spectacular backside pictured above.  Speaking of spectacular, Tom Brady was awesome for me in fantasy on thanksgiving. Now I just need some decent games from my other players and I should hold off my fantasy opponent this week.  OHHHHHH SHIT Buy one original burger king chicken sandwich and get one free. Sweet. Those are the best chicken sandwiches in the history of insanely unhealthy fast food. Oh the first half is over.  Not very exciting if you ask me.

Ok it’s halftime so I placed my order at Giovanni’s and am playing a little Gran turismo till the 2nd half starts.  I guess I’d better put on some pants.  You know cause of the food delivery, not because the game. Pantless is how I prefer to play the game honestly.  The cool thing (which honestly is kind of lame so I don’t know why I call it cool) is that this year you can hire drivers for this one set of races and you just buy them the car and then give them tips as they drive to help them out.  It’s boring but the nice thing is that the computer can basically run a race for me while I’m watching football and that way I get money to but more awesome cars.  The downside is that the drivers suck for a long time and have a habit of just randomly slamming on the breaks like he is tripping balls and sees an imaginary deer in the middle of the road every other lap.

Halftime is over but I’m not really paying attention to the game cause i’m researching cyber monday deals.  It looks like bullshit honestly.  I understand Black Friday since they have some honest to god great deals, but the sales i’m seeing advertised as part of cyber monday look a little less than spectacular. Vikings are driving right now but they need to get some points, otherwise I’ll be even more bored than I am already. BOOM TD white RB guy.

so after the score both teams had a three and out.  Really? they are still making Narnia movies?  I didn’t even make it through the first one.  I tried twice to watch it and fell asleep during it both times.  I love the PS3 commercials by the way. You know the ones with the funny vice president who in case you are wondering, is actually just an actor and not an actual vice president at the company. I hope the eagels game this afternoon is more interesting. I’m way more into the commercials than the game right now.  Come on pizza when are you going to get here. This is bullshit making me wait almost 20 minutes so far.

God could this game be any more boring.  At this point chris cooley could catch a pass and then run so fast the friction caused by his clothes colliding with air particles would make him burst into flames, and I would still have trouble staying awake while watching the game. YEAH i think I hear the pizza guy. I feel bad for McNabb.  That INT wasn’t his fault at all after the ball went through Moss’ hands and bounced off his helmet and flew straight up in the air.  BTW I love when Pizza places use red onions instead of white onions.  White Onions < Red Onions < Boobies < Jack Bauer     annnnnnnndddddddd vikings will be settling for a Field Goal.

Nice return by the skins. Speaking of Skins, yes I know that is a Pedo Bear approved Miley Cirus above and a clamedia approved Paris Hilton below.  I’m not proud of including them in this post but the came up under the hot indian google search and … ughhhhh Miley is going to have a sex tape within 4 years I bet.  I don’t know why people say that she is hot.  The problem is that until very recently she was under 18 which makes it creepy to comment on her hotness, and second she did, and still does look like a little kid and probably will continue to look that way till she’s like 23 or something.  Kind of like Hayden Paneterier (i’m not looking up the correct spelling of her name) who even now still looks too young despite being 20 something now.

After a great return like that the skins really should have gotten more than a field goal.  Still they needed that FG to pull it to within a 7 point game.

This game is threatening to get interesting here.  You know what else is interesting, my list of ideas for next weeks collection of hot women photos randomly placed into my nfl blog post.  Here are some of my ideas:

  • Cowgirls, or just women with cowboy hats
  • Handbras
  • Hot Former Cheerleaders
  • Hot singers
  • Hot Mensa chicks, or just smart chicks in general
  • Just random hotness

I’m leaning towards the smart chicks thing since it would give me an excuse to talk about Danica Melekar. You know Winnie Cooper, who turned out to be a math geek and has a couple of formulas named after her. How hot is that?  Natalie portman went to Harvard, Rashida Jones has near pefect memory from what I remember reading, Asia Carrera is a hot asian pornstar who is also a member of Mensa.  Those are just a few I can think of off the top of my head.  Oh well in the mean time lets look at some more Native American themed hotness.

Vikings are kind of shooting themselves in the foot or a the very least are leaving them selves open for a big play like OMG the punt return TD that just happened.  Oh fuck it. illegal block in the back takes away the TD and moves it half the difference to the endzone. Dang. Once again; Almost exciting. annnnnnndddd three and out for redskins.  Hey I didn’t make the connection before between my picture theme this week and Washington’s not so subtly racists team mascot.

That chick kind of looks like Lucy Lawless. Remember Xena the warrior princess? no? well you must not be a lesbian I guess. Whooooooaaaaaaaa was that offensive by me.  Anyways i’m getting sleepy again. Might nap through the end of this game since it’s getting lame again.  Gearhart is looking kind fo good, but not as good as the announcer are making him sound.  He’s not going to take over for Adrian Peterson. He has a couple things working against him. Number one, he doesn’t have that extra gear so if he does get a big opening he won’t be able to turn it into a TD regardless of where they are on the field like most fast RBs can do.  Number two, he is painfully white.  That second thing really is the kiss of death for a half back.

tick tick tick. two and a half minutes left with the vikings trying to run out the clock and me fighting to stay awake.

And vikings are kneeling the ball for the win.  sooooooooo exciting.  Hopefully there is some exciting bonus coverage. NOPE, just post game BS. ughhh nap time.

Ok these are totally not safe for work but it is basically the most aweome combination of bare boobs and Native American stereotypes:

Peta Todd is a Topless Squaw

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