I got two things working against me

So I’m writing a spec script that is based on an original idea of mine that features a crime solving detective who works part time as a porn star.  I felt that I had two major elements that would make the show original. The obvious one is having a main character who is a porn star.  I don’t know any show that has or had that.  I also wanted the porno aspect to be humorous but also be somewhat realistic in it’s depiction of how men in the industry are treated.

This isn't very realistic

Most people think that being a male pornstar would be a mix of pure awesomeness and insanely well manufactured awesomeness, but from what I’ve read, and heard in behind the scenes interviews, life for the guys in porn can kind of suck ass. Not literally… well yeah literally too I guess.

My other unique aspect of the show would be it’s more accurate depiction of the type of work a real private eye usually does.  On most shows, the detectives are either solving a murder, or solving a theft. In truth most detectives are hired to either perform surveillance or research.  Surveillance work could be in the form of watching a subject to see if they are faking a work man’s comp claim, cheating on a spouse, or… well that’s mostly it.  The research cases are usually contracted to go through public records and verify that information submitted is accurate.  A business might hire a PI to do this type of research before hiring a new employee, making a capital investment, taking over another company, etc….

The thrilling life of a private investigator

There is also a very large field in the PI world for cyber related investigating.  These types of PIs spend their days looking for security holes in a companies IT setup, recovering lost data or encrypted data, and tracing virus and other cyber attacks.  I would have thrown some of this in to the stories but they are too complicated and more boring than funny.

With the things mentioned above I felt I had at least a good premise to build a show that was at the very least unique, although I still was a little worried that people would think the funny detective show is too much like Monk, Psych, etc… and that the porno angle would be too similar to Hung.

All the ladies want to pay Mickey "The Punisher" Mantle for sex

Then I saw this blog post on one of my favorite websites: http://warmingglow.uproxx.com/2010/08/first-trailer-for-fxs-terriers

Terriers from Creator/Executive Producer Ted Griffin (Ocean’s ElevenMatchstick Men) and Executive Producer Shawn Ryan (The Shield), is a comedic drama starring Donal Logue (The Tao of Steve) and Michael Raymond-James (True Blood). It centers on “Hank Dolworth” (Logue), an ex-cop, who partners with his best friend “Britt Pollack” (Raymond-James) in an unlicensed private investigation business. Comedic, edgy, original, a show about high stakes in the face of low expectations, Terriers explores what it’s like in today’s America to be “too small to fail.”

Ok actually the quote is a quote from some place else that was quoted in the blog entry. Whatever, the point is that it is a comedy / dramaedy that has a pair of private detectives doing real private eye work.  So that kind of makes my idea seem less unique, but after watching the preview it still looks like these guys will be doing PI work that is more on the high stakes side of things.

Well at least there’s no other show’s on TV that focus on the porn world.



Mark Wahlberg and Steve Levinson are working with controversial writer James Frey… on a one-hour drama that will use both legit actors and real porn performers. The plot will focus on a giant video company under siege from Internet competitors and a girl from the Midwest whose boyfriend convinces her to move to Los Angeles to become a star.

Frey, who’s writing the pilot, said, “We’re going to make a sprawling epic about the porn business in LA. We’re going to tell the type of stories no one else has told before, and go places no one has gone before.”

Ok that one kind of hurts, especially since it’s going to be on HBO and that’s one of the networks I was going to send my spec script to.  Oh well there’s still Starz and Showtime.  Maybe I could sell it to AMC if they suddenly decide that increasing FCC fines is a core part of their business model.

Spec Script Episode Ideas

As many of you know, I am currently working on a spec script for a TV detective series geared towards a network like HBO or Showtime.  (also, I know there’s not many of you, or anyone actually, I just like that phrase. )  Most shows on cable run between 10 and 14 episodes.  Unlike most detective shows, I didn’t want to make the protagonist solve a murder every week.

Instead I wanted him to have to solve mysteries that an average private detective might actually work.  In truth most of the work a real detective does, wouldn’t really qualify as “Solving Mysteries”.   They mostly do stuff like watch people to see if they are cheating on a spouse, faking a workman’s comp claim, lying about an insurance claim, or sometimes doing some process serving.

So below I have listed a rough outline of what I envision a 10 episode first season story arch could involve.  Obviously as the protagonist gets better at his job and more comfortable in the world of a detective, he would work harder and more exciting cases.

I also think that each episode should have 3 main parts. The first part is that weeks case, which should be completed in that episode.  The second part should be scenes that address the main character as well as supporting character’s quests to forward their agendas, whatever they may be.  One person might be struggling to pay bills, another one is trying to become famous, another one trying to finish school, and maybe one trying to be a good father.  I’m not going to address those things now since I’m not sure who all the characters will be yet.

The final part of each episode, which doesn’t have to take place at the end of the episode, will be the hero’s ongoing season long quest to solve one big mystery.  The more I think about this, the more it reminds me of what they basically do every week on Burn Notice.  Michael, Hot Chick, and Bruce “Ash” Campbell, help out some looser who can’t stand up for himself and then at the end they do another mission to help them get one step closer (but not really) to getting Michael unburned or whatever he’s trying to do now.

The following pic is long, but totally worth it:

ok so with that out of the way, here’s my ideas.

Episode 1: Blackmail

Rod (the protagonist) accidentally signs up for a community college course on becoming a licensed private investigator.  For whatever reason I decide on later, he stays in the class and decides to try a case or two.  Rod doesn’t know where to go to get a case so he asks the instructor who says that he is too busy with other cases right now to work all of them, so he gives him one that he says should be easy and too boring for his tastes. (I want the instructor/PI to become a mentor to Rod throughout the season)

Rod is hired by a wealthy, but cheap, business man who is being black mailed.  The business man wants Rod to find the person who is black mailing him, since he won’t pay the black mailer on principle.  Rod Tracks down the blackmailer and finds some dirt on him, and exchanges that for the information he has on the business man.  The business man is crazy happy and pays a bonus to Rod for his excellent work.

The next evening Rod is stunned when he finds out that the Blackmailer committed suicide.  Rod knows something is not right.

Episode 2:  Cheating Husband

Rod goes back to his mentor, who i’m just going to call Jim for the hell of it.  Jim gives Rod some more work, but before Rod leaves, he pauses and Jim knows that Rod wants to ask him about the suicide.  Jim says something cryptic about the dark side of the job and your clients, and that most people who hire a PI probably have something they want to hide themselves.  Rod’s new assignment is to tail a husband and see if he’s cheating on his wife.

The wife who hired Rod is worried that her husband is being unfaithful since he’s been acting strange lately and she thinks he’s starting to get bored with her as they approach their 10 year anniversary.  In a nice twist it turns out that the husband is actually sneaking around behind her back because he’s doing something super nice for their anniversary.  Maybe have a little humor where Rod doesn’t get paid since he didn’t find any evidence of cheating.

Have Rod discuss the case with one of his friends (not Jim) and reveal that Rod figured out that the wife that hired him was actually having an affair and that was the main reason she wanted proof of her husband so she could leave him for the other guy but still get his money or something to that affect.  These doubts about the motives of the people who hire him, makes him think to look into the suicide of the blackmailer from episode 1 who i should come up with a name for.  Have episode end with Rod going to visit the widow of Henry the blackmailer.

Episode 3:  Workman’s Comp

Rod goes to Jim for more work and Jim says he has two jobs available, the first is the recovery of all emails and encrypted information belonging to a recently deceased banker, or investigating a workman’s comp claim.  Rod has no idea how to do the other stuff so he goes with the workman’s comp claim.  Rod several times in the episode will initially seem to catch the comp guy in the act of doing something he shouldn’t be able to do, only to find out that he’s wrong.  Finally Rod calls in a friend, who is a con man, to help him expose the workman’s comp guy as a fraud.

Have Rod feel a little bad since “some big corporation” won’t have to pay out benefits, then let Rod find out that the claim was going against a small family owned business that would have went under if the claim had been paid out.

Rod continues to investigate the suicide and finds out that Henry had bought a plain ticket earlier that day and had his bag packed. This is supposed to hint that he at the very least wasn’t planing to kill himself when he did those two things. (Not sure, but maybe have Rod discover it, by finding some sort of receipt that changed the plane ticket originally purchased for Henry and his wife, and now it’s just for her set a couple weeks later.)

Episode 4:  Car Theft

Rod’s been doing well, and as a result he has finally had enough money to finish some of the restoration work he was having done to his 69 Cuda.  Well, the car gets stolen, and Rod goes to Jim for some help since the police don’t seem to care all that much.  Jim is out of town investigating a celebrity something who knows.  Rod has to turn to the only person he knows who would know enough about the world of auto mechanics that might be able to help him; his dad.

His dad is an auto mechanic who owns a garage, and maybe there’s some daddy issues, or rod always hated how much work his dad had to do over the years just to squeak by. (btw, Rod had his car repainted which is something his dad doesn’t do and instead referred Rod to a good place, so don’t worry that rod was a dick and didn’t have his dad’s shop do the work on the Cuda).

Rod and his dad find out that the Cuda was stolen after the paint shop tipped off a chop shop in order to get a kick back.  Have Rod work with the police who didn’t care before as well as the paint shop to set up a sting on the chop shop.  This will help Rod down the line now that he has a cop buddy, who will hopefully feed him some work from time to time.

Rod is at an impasse with his personal investigation into Henry the blackmailer’s possible murder.  He goes to the widow’s house to apologize and admit that he might have been wrong and that he’s giving up, but then he sees the business man leaving the house that was the target of the blackmail.  Rod tails the Business man who heads to a private air field and boards a private jet.  Rod then notices one of the ground crew loads up a piece of luggage that Rod recognizes as Henry’s luggage.

Episode 5:  Missing Person

A woman is referred to Rod by that police man from the last episode.  The woman’s daughter ran away a couple years ago.  The daughter was 18 at the time, and the police at the time didn’t suspect foul play and couldn’t really pursue it a whole lot.  The woman is broken up by the whole thing and just wants to know that her girl is alright and wants to see her again.

Rod takes the case, and it should probably be pointed out that he also discovers that Henry’s Widow… Dorothy?!?!? is also missing at this point, at least from what he can tell. (she’s not home, and car is there, and she never took the flight she had a ticket for that rod saw earlier)  Rod talks to some of the missing girls old friends and scouts them to see if any of them still make contact with her.  blah blah blah, Rod finds her.

The twist is that she is doing great now that she is away from her mother, who the daughter reveals wasn’t that good of a mother.  I’m not sure where to go with this. Maybe the mother was abusive, maybe the stepfather was abusive and mother just ignored it, maybe it could be something more subtle than that like the mother always put the kid down and tried to stifle her.  No matter what the scenario is, it’s clear to Rod that the daughter is and would continue to do better if the mother is kept in the dark.

So now it gets tricky, what does Rod do?  I’m thinking he literally tells her he can’t find her, and returns her advance or something.  While he does that he also hints that she is doing well and offers the mom some advice.  If i go with the scenario that it’s an abusive stepfather then maybe Rod could slip her some literature on shelters for abused women or something.  Man that seems very direct and obvious, but i’m sure there’s a subtle way of putting it out there that if the mother wants to get away from the husband the daughter will be there to support her.  (just spit balling here, maybe the daughter runs one of those types of shelters out in, what ever other place she now lives and if the mother takes up the offer she’ll be away from the bad husband/dad and be back with her daughter)

Rod tracks down the flight information on the private plane the business man took, and it turns out it was headed to the same place Henry’s widow was originally heading on that ticket of hers.

Episode 6:  Stolen Property

Rod goes to Jim to find out what he has for him this week, and Jim says nothing.  Rod wasn’t prepared for this but probably should have since it wasn’t reasonable to expect Jim to just always have a job waiting for him.  Jim gives Rod some advice on getting new clients, and the most important of which is networking your friends and family.  Maybe cue up a montage of him asking all of the people he knows if they need any detective work, and then end with his dad replying just like everyone else did “no.”  then have him think for a moment and go, oh wait, yeah, actually I do.  Then his dad points him towards some person he knows who had something stolen.

Since the last episode might have been kind of heavy in terms of emotions and drama, this one should be more light hearted.  Maybe have the stolen item be some type of trophy (bowling trophy perhaps??!?!?)  and Rod has to go under cover on the team that came in second to try and figure out who on that team did the stealing.  Obviously it would be too easy if it was any of those people so give them each an alibi, and then move on to other suspects.

Finding a bowling trophy, probably shouldn’t really be a big deal so I think we need to up the stakes by having something very valuable hidden in the trophy be the real reason it was stolen.  Maybe this could be something where a drug smuggler, or diamond smuggler was using the trophies to ship product and one accidentally got sold to the bowling league, then bad guy snuck in and took it back.  Ummmmm use this as another opportunity for Rod to make friends with more cops or DEA or whoever handles stuff like diamonds.

Rod continues to investigate Henry the Blackmailer’s suicide and drops by the business man’s estate knowing full well he’s not going to be there.  Maybe it shouldn’t be a huge estate or anything, just a really nice place.  Anyways, while he’s there he meets with the business man’s wife who the business man wanted to keep in the dark regarding the black mail attempt.  Something is unsettling about the wife, and she some how reveals (not on purpose) that she knew about whatever the black mail was about (husband cheating maybe?)

Maybe, juuuussstttt maybe the business man’s wife has something that links her to the missing widow who I think I named Dorothy.  This could be something subtle like a somewhat unique hair clip, or locket, or who knows. Maybe earrings.

Episode 7: Counterfeit Chips

Rod goes undercover as a baggage handler or a TSA agent at that small airfield where he is expecting The businessman (who also needs a name…. Ted) to arrive at.  Maybe Rod uses his connection he gained from the bowling trophy case to make this happen.  Rod uses this opportunity to inspect the luggage of the returning Ted, especially the case that was Henry’s.  During inspection, Rod sees that the luggage is of very fine quality and has a somewhat hidden compartment that is empty.  In fact everything in the bag is the same as when Rod saw it in Henry’s house and he only now noticing that the clothing and other belongings in it are those of a wealthy man.

Rod is confused but move’s on to this weeks case, in-which he has to find out who is manufacturing counterfeit poker chips being used at one of the Cali Casinos.  The casino isn’t getting the police involved at this moment because whoever is doing it is only doing it in very small amounts.  It’s better for the casinos to loose this small amount than call in the cops and basically announce to everyone that it’s possible to cheat them if you know how to work with clay and have experience with photo shop.

The chips are fairly good knock offs, but they are only made of clay instead of a clay composite like real chips and therefore more brittle. Plus the center sticker is easily removed since it’s not a vinyl well secured material.  Rod tracks down the source of the clay the forger is using in his one dollar chips since it’s an odd shade of white that isn’t popular.  Rod meets the clay supplier, who won’t reveal his list of clients, but rod finds them any ways and actually eliminates them as potential forgers since none have pressurized ovens needed when making chips.

Rod then realizes it’s the kindly old clay maker who is doing the forging and as it turns out it cause he is basically broke and uses the money to supplement his income since most of the money his shop makes goes to his small staff of one or two college students.  Soooooo lets have a happy ending and have the casino offer to buy a bunch of his chips, that are clearly different and marked as no cash value, that the casino can then sell as cheap souvenirs in their gift shops.  Of course in return the old forger can never let anyone know how easy it would be to rip off the casino with some higher value chips.

Rod reviews the information on his first case and starts to wonder if that wasn’t the first time that the business man Ted was blackmailed.  Or better yet, lets say that Rod is trying to figure out why Henry had Ted’s suitcase presumably before he blackmailed him.  Rod now starts to dig heavy into the travels the business man did prior to the black mail incident in hopes of finding how Henry might have gotten a hold of that luggage.

Rod uses his part time gig at the TSA and his buddy from the Diamond trophy case to review tapes from flights Ted took.  As he looks through them he finds one of the videos that shows Ted and his wife arriving back in town and the wife dragging Ted along to a cinnabun or something before garbing their bags.  Ted looks anxious like he doesn’t have time for that.  Then another video at the same time at the baggage carousel shows someone grabbing the recognizable case of Ted’s and it’s not Henry, but Dorothy, Henry’s Wife.  (Also, there needs to be something about the luggage that is makes it unique and easily recognizable)

Episode 8:  Intellectual Property

Rod goes to Jim to ask for advice on the Henry the Blackmail murder stolen luggage case.  Jim asks Rod, why he is going after this case so hard, and Rod gives some kind of explanation such as his guilt over Henry’s suicide and or murder and how Rod might be partially to blame.  Plus the more he looks into the people surrounding the case, the less he likes what he sees and he wonders if Henry might have been the most honest of them all.  Jim gives some advice and relates it back to his most impressive and hardest case.  He tells him about the case and even points out a plaque or something in his office that has some awesome headline, and jim explains that one big case can set you up for life as a detective.

Almost on cue someone shows up looking for Jim.  It turns out it is someone Ted knows from his part time job and he is forced to pretend he doesn’t know her as she hopefully will also follow through on the same charade.  She does but clearly is getting a kick out of it, and asks Jim if his deputy investigator can handle her case, which he can i guess.   In her line of business she is use to dealing with a lot of piracy of her production companies DVDs and online content.  It’s part of the business, and in truth there’s a certain amount that you just live with, especially if the movie being pirated on a file sharing site is several years old and it’s not even like copies aren’t being made any more.

Her problem is that several of her most recent DVDs and Online releases have appeared on several Porn versions of Youtube prior to their release.  This has killed her pre ordering and initial sales, which are critical to her companies success.   She’s already put in measures to ensure no one leaves the office with any media devices, and has also monitored all of the data being uploaded from their servers.  As the episode goes on, it should become apparent that Rod is way over his head with all the computer stuff and is basically just ridding shot gun as the chick does all the real detective work.

Rod tries to learn how to do this stuff on his own, and tries to download some torrents and other stuff to his home PC and immediately gets a virus.  While Rod and hot chick work on his PC they do a little back and forth dialog where they work out a theory on how the movies are getting released on those sites, and specifically how they are leaving the production offices.  The reason they never saw any one large file containing the movie, or a string of files all going to the same place is because whoever is stealing it is breaking up the movies into small pieces all with innocent sounding names that are unrelated, and uploading them to a variety of file sharing sites.

Maybe have part of the companies preventative measures be having a team that spends time uploading false files to discourage downloaders who are looking for something copyrighted of theirs. Sooo hot chick and Rod figure this out and find the culprit who confesses that she is being paid by one of the rival movie producers to do this so that the his sites and movies are the only ones people actually need to pay for.  And now Rod has a friend who knows shit about computers, who can help him down the road.

Rod does the real detective thing and looks through all the public documents on Ted, Dorothy, Henry, and Ted’s wife….. Samantha?!?!?!.  So he finds the will that is on record for Ted which basically says that when he dies, almost all of his assets will go to his alma mater and several other charities.  There’s also a prenup that says if there’s a divorce for any reason, there will be no alimony, and not an equal split of money. So Samantha stands to get nothing if she either left Ted or he ever died.

Episode 9: Another Stolen Car

Start out episode with Rod thinking his car was stolen again, but then comediclly realizing it was just behind a big van that pulls away.  He says he doesn’t want to work another stolen car case, and minutes later he’s talking with another co worker who has just found out her bright pink Mercedes was stolen.  This co worker chick knows that Rod is a private I since she works with the other hot chick who knows computers and worked with Rod on his last case.  This chick makes some kind of deal Rod can’t refuse and reluctantly takes the case.

Rod talks with that one cop from before to try and find a list of some of the chop shops in order to scope them out.  This turns up nothing, but a bunch of evidence the cop can use in a future case but that doesn’t help Rod at all.  Rod starts to go through a list of all of this chicks enemies which is surprisingly long in a montage kind of way. (btw all the enemies are other hot chicks, and maybe one random dude in there, who he and rod can have a bitch session with)  Rod accompanies this chick to a publicity event where she meets fans, and one of them seems overly infatuated, and even asks for a locket of hair or something.  (Maybe have something subtle that the guy has that would have been in her car that would also be NO wait.) It’s a chick and she has the same purse as the hot chick with the missing car, but Rod figures out that it’s actually the hot chick and that she stole the car cause she’s crazy obsessed.

The whole chick being in love with another chick makes Rod decide to follow Samantha, Ted’s wife and tails her and finds her rendezvousing with Dorothy in some out of the way place and it’s clear that they are together, and then Rod snoopes around and uses binoculars or high powered camera to look in the window and snap some pics of a small case that probably would have fit well into Ted’s suitcase’s hidden compartment.

Episode 10: Insurance Adjustment

Rod meets with Jim for more advice on the whole love triangle possible murder thing, and Jim reminds Rod that having motive, and opportunity are nice, but you still need evidence of a murder, and everything Rod’s uncovered still doesn’t change the fact that it appears to be a suicide.   Rod goes back to the scene of the suicide and finds that Dorothy’s house is completely empty and a for sale sign is out front.

He sets up a time with the real estate lady to look at the house and in the mean time takes a case from an insurance company who has a client who is filing a claim after a lightning strike caused a building to catch fire.  It is simple run of the mill thing as Rod takes a look at the remains with the owner who shows his the charred remains of the various pieces of artwork like paintings, vases, statues, other stuff… Rod picks up a piece from a vase that the man says was made in the 1800s and worth about 7 grand.

Absent mindedly rod pockets the small piece and takes it with him after he’s done cataloging everything there.  Rod is only a couple blocks from that clay forger guy from a couple episodes back so he stops in to see how he’s been doing and he’s been doing fine, and Rod give’s him a bunch of his business cards in case he or anyone else needs any PI work in the future.  While there they get to talking and Rod shows him the clay piece from the 1800s and the Clay guy says that couldn’t be more than 20 years old because of something or other.

Rod investigates the fire further and determines that there never was a lightning strike and that he just used the bad storm that day as the perfect time to commit arson, and then they find all of the real artwork tucked away somewhere like a storage locker.

Rod goes to meet with the real estate lady to see Henry and Dorothy’s now vacant house and spends most of the time in the bedroom where Henry supposedly hung himself. While looking around, Rod finds something that indicates in some way that it wasn’t a suicide. Maybe an aspirin pill that looks just like the heavy sedative Henry took before he killed himself.  Also maybe he sees that the bulb is loose in the over head light and that there is a couple of very straight scuff marks on the floor directly under the light.  Or how about a small hole on an opposite wall, that is just below where a smaller hole was from where a picture was hung.

Episode 11: Terrorist Alert

For some reason Rod is hard up for money and needs a new case, but Jim only has one available and that’s because he would never want to work it.  Rod doesn’t care just as long as the money is ok, but regrets it when he finds out that a community watch group wants him to spy on some Pakistani American’s who they think are terrorists.  Obviously Rod thinks that the watch group comprised of 4 our five old ladies who live in the houses around the Pakistani family, are being more than a little racist. buuuutttt, Rod needs money.

Rod watches the incredibly boring family for a while before finally going up to the dad and mom and apologizing without really giving away why he’s apologizing, and hopefully i can write this part so that it’s funny.  Rod goes to report his findings, or lack there of, and notices something peculiar with the location where the watch group meets every other day.  One of the old lady begrudgingly accepts his findings and peels off several Franklins from her gangster’s role.  Rod is ready to leave when he sees that one of the young Pakistani children is high as a kite and takes him or her to his family to see what’s wrong.  Rod puts two and two together and next thing you know the DEA is busting down the doors of the old ladies and finding that they are making ecstasy or something along those lines….. oh and that DEA friend has to confiscate the money the old ladies paid him for spying on the Pakistanis.

Rod meets up with his cop buddy who agreed to let him take a look at the coroner’s report that officially ruled Henry’s death a suicide.  Cop buddy is only doing this since Rod gave him all that great intel on all of those chop shops. Rod reviews the photos and as in all hangings the familiar V shaped strangulation marks are found around the neck which indicate that rope was pulling up vertically most likely from the weight of Henry as he hung from the ceiling.  (This as opposed to a straight line across the throat indicating someone strangling from behind.)

The blood toxicity shows a heavy sedative in the system, which the Coroner suggested Henry took to dull the senses so the event wouldn’t be so painful of shocking.  Rod takes another close look at the report and then again at the picture using a magnifying glass at one point, and then leaves.

Episode 12: Bodygaurd

Rod still needing money takes a gig as a body guard for a celebrity despite the fact that he has no training in any type of martial arts.   His main job isn’t to protect the young woman from bad guys but to be more or less a baby sitter who keeps her out of trouble.  During the Episode Hi-Jinks ensue until the celeb forces Rod into a fight with some huge bouncer at a bar and Rod looses.  While he’s knocked out, this celeb gets a hold of some pills and tries to kill herself.  Rod wakes up in time to save her.  At the hospital Rod asks the doc some questions that tie into Henry’s murder.

Someone you think is Rod is snapping pictures of Samantha and Dorothy as you see them sell that small case to a couple of shady looking dudes. As Samantha and Dorothy get in their car, they are followed to the private airfield where a jet is waiting for them.  As the door to the plane opens you see Rod stroll down the steps.  Man in the car is still snapping photos.  Talk talk talk, Rod explains his theory:

Samantha wanted to Leave Ted, but couldn’t cause she knew there was no money there.  So she needed a way to get hold of something very valuable from Ted that could not be traced and that he wouldn’t notice missing, at least not for a while.  Ted got most of his money from smuggling diamonds, which is what his fancy suitcase was for.  Samantha distracted Ted at the airport after they returned to the States with his latest shipment, and used Dorothy to snatch up the luggage, which contained the diamonds.  Next you had to substitute the real diamonds for counterfeit diamonds, but you couldn’t simple just give the bag back.  That’s why you had Henry black mail Ted with information that was conveniently found in Ted’s luggage.

Ted didn’t remember packing this incriminating evidence, probably because Samantha supplied it to Dorthy well in advance.  When Ted received the black mail notice he hired me, hoping I could track down who had the suitcase, but unfortunately all i brought him were the black mail originals.  I at first felt guilty about letting Henry’s name slip, but i’m sure it was Dorothy and Samantha’s intention to kill him the entire time.  Using a blackmail attempt gone wrong as a believable reason for Henry to off himself all you had to do was make it look more or less like a suicide.

Substitute  his Tylenol with this almost identical looking heavy narcotic and Henry was just droggy enough for you to put a nose around his neck and then use a pulley on the opposite wall to help pull him up while at the same time staying away from his thrashing hands and feet.  The only thing Henry was able to hit while he fought for his life was the nearby over head light and his own face when he scratched his chin while futilely pulling at the rope cinched around his neck.  Next you put a desk under his feet and then shoved it away to create the illusion he had stood on it to put his head around the noose.

The problem here is that the marks you left on the ground wouldn’t have been caused by someone simply kicking over a desk.  My guess is that your adrenaline was kicking in by this point and you put a little too much gusto resulting in the deep long scratches in the wood floor.  Now you remove the pulley simply secure the rest of the rope to the overhead beam and put the family portrait back up over the hole the pulley made.

Ted probably shows up a little later on to try and get his suitcase back but is spooked when he sees the dead guy.  He has to wait till a couple days later to come back and steal the suitcase when Dorothy has supposedly left for vacation.  In fact after Ted Grabs the luggage and sees what he believes are the real diamonds, he flies to the same location that Dorothy was headed, probably to either have a friendly chat with her or possibly put her in the ground.

Dorothy never took that flight, but instead stayed here with Samantha and used that time to set up the sale of the stolen diamonds and sell off everything else they owned before they hit the road.  My guess Ted’s layover in the canary islands before heading home was so that he could stash his stones at one of the offshore banks he does regular business with.

Everything was going smooth until your original buyer got busted in a bowling trophy mix-up.  That delayed your departure date until after you could find a new buyer.

The chicks reveal that the last part was taken care of, and that it doesn’t matter cause Rod can’t prove any of it, especially the murder part. Rod says you are right, but thankfully we do have you on film selling stolen diamonds to Federal Agents.  Now you see the guy taking pictures is Jim and he’s smiling.   Rod’s DEA arrests them and tells Rod later that he was hoping for something a little more diffinative in terms of a confession when talking to Ron just then, but in all likely hood they can probably get one of them to flip on the other. Plus the smuggling charges alone will put them away for a while.

Last scene of the season has Rod and Jim enjoying some drinks in Jim’s office as it pours outside.  Jim has just walked over to refill Rod’s drink as Rod looks around the office asking Jim about the one painting which Jim reveals is his second favorite decoration.  A couple seconds go by as Rod stares at the painting as the only sound you hear is from the crackling in the fireplace. Rod then comments on it painting and then he turns around to see Jim sitting in one of his chairs.  It takes Rod a second or two to notice that something isn’t right.  When he approaches Jim, he sees that he’s been shot in the forehead and is dead.  There are no open doors or windows and it’s just Jim and Rod in the room as the scened fades out.

So there you have it.  I have a lot of work to do, to shore up the season long story since if you view it just from the bad guys perspective the pacing of their actions don’t really make sense especially if there is a week taking place between each episode.  Still, my favorite part is just the ending to the first season with a new take on the murder mystery standard Locked room murder.

Writing again.

I use to keep a wordpress blog several years ago, and at the time I thoroughly enjoyed updating it on a near daily basis.  Then, like most things I do in my life, I lost interest in it and just gave up.  I’d like to take the time right now to explain that my life was just too crazy and exciting to keep up with a daily blog, but that would be a bold face lie that anyone who knows me could see right through.

So why am I starting a blog again?  There are several reason. Number one: boredom
Number two: It is good practice for the other writing I would like to do.

Ok so there are only two reason, but at least they are both valid. Number one is depressingly/especially valid, but let’s focus on number two.  Right now there are three writing projects that I’ve committed myself to. The first project is to eliminate my use of prepositions at the end of sentences. HAHA no i’m just kidding. I’m a terrible writer and will probably always do that.

My first writing project is a spec script for TV.  I love TV in much the same way fat guys love …TV, so it seems natural for me to want to write something for that format.  I have a rough idea of what I would like the show to be about, but I hesitate to explain it cause it will surely sound stupid and moronic.  But this is my blog so who cares.

I want to write a detective series staring a private detective who wants to be a legitimate Hollywood actor, but in the mean time has to pay the bills by doing porn.  Yep. there it is. That’s my idea. Go ahead and just let that soak in, and try and think of way that it could even have a remote chance of working.   Yes it would be a long shot, but as a comedy the idea of Monk with a large dick is appealing to me. Shit, I really should reword that last sentence.

For that show to have any chance it would have to be on a channel like Showtime, Starz, or HBO, plus it would have to only dwell on porn topics fleetingly.  There would also have to be one or more on going narratives spanning the entire season or series.  The obvious ongoing plot lines that I can think of are the characters ongoing struggle to make it as an actor and land a real role in either a TV show or movie.  His part time’s professions impact on his love life and the possible search for someone who is ok with his adult career.  Each season could have one large, very difficult case that takes the entire season to complete/solve, much in the way burn notice divides up each episodes time between the weekly exploits and the season long quest.

I also like the idea that some of the weekly mysteries solved by the actor/detective/porno star are figured out in part to revelations he has while on the set of his pornos.   For instance he could be doing one of those internet scenes where he sticks his manhood through a hole in a pizza box and offers a lovely lady a large pizza with extra sausage.  Then he has an epiphany that blah blah blah was the criminal cause something something vegan whatever.  So that’s the first thing I would like to write.

The second thing I would like to write is a sci-fi novel.  Basically it would be one of those first contact with aliens kind of books.  I’m not even sure if it would be that unique of a book, although I’d like to think that i’m the only one to write about an invasion by aliens where the alien’s themselves never actually come to our planet.

At this point I’ve written 60 pages, without a lot of prose in an effort to more or less, just get a storyline on paper.  I have a general idea of what the plot is or could be but i’m not set on any specific outcome or series of events.  I’m just writing each chapter and then letting the events of the story so far, point me in the next direction for the subsequent chapters.  I have no idea if this will work and in all likelyhood I could just write myself into a corner.  Thankfully I can always toss in a duce ex machina with a sci fi twist and i should be fine.

The third and final thing I want to write in the somewhat near future is a novel involving a bunch of con-men.   I don’t know how many books there are that would fall under this catagory, but there’s a shit ton of movies (Ocean’s 11-13, The Score, The Sting, not to mention The Hustle on BBC television).  I’ve already outlined this story including all of it’s twists and turns and double crosses and surprise endings, but I haven’t really started to write it yet, and there’s a good reason for that: it’s too hard.

Seriously, I don’t think I’m a good enough writer yet to author something as ambitious as what I picture that novel as a finished product.  That’s the main reason I started working on the first two ideas.  the porno detective spec script is easiest and completely in my wheel house as far as the combination of comedy and porn.  The second idea, is harder than the first since it would be a full length novel, but it would be easier since it wouldn’t need to be a serious, or realistic, or grounded, or edgy.  I could write it as just another sci fi book and be completely happy with it.

I figure that by the time I finish the other two projects, I might feel comfortable enough to dive fully into the con man novel.

So in summation, I’ll probably give up on all of these projects 3 months from now when I loose interest like I always do.

In the meantime I plan on updating this blog fairly often.  My goal is to talk about… whatever.  I’ll write sometimes about how my writing is going.  Other times i’ll write about TV shows that interest me, especially when there are things that captivate my interest at the moment.  Movie reviews, details of my poker sessions at the local casino, crazy shit and funny shit i find on the internet, and basically whatever else is on my mind.

Feel free to comment, but honestly, I’m probably going to be the only one reading this so I have no idea why I would be commenting on my own stuff.