SPOILERS! Batman V Superman review

I know I haven’t posted anything in a while but I saw Batman V Superman Dawn of Justice on opening night, and I really wanted to write about it.  Obviously I don’t want to spoil any of the movie for anyone so if you haven’t seen it and want to go see it, Stop reading now.  If you aren’t sure if you are going to go see it and want to get some general non spoilerly info on the film, I will try to make more broad sweeping generalizations in the beginning of this blog post and then post an additional warning once we start to get into any of the real specifics.

So here we go.

When it comes to big blockbuster movies, especially of the nerdy variety, I think one of the clearest signs that I really liked the movie is if I did or will see it in a movie theater multiple times.  I’m a big proponent of seeing a movie you really like multiple times at the theater. The more money the studios make the more likely they are to make more in a similar vein or fashion. Granted, the difference between me as an individual going out and spending only $10, or going multiple times and spending a total of $30 won’t make an impact to any studio head when he is trying to decide whether to green-light a movie. Still it is a physiological thing to me that makes me feel like I’m making a positive differenct.

I should make clear that just because I see a movie only once, it doesn’t mean it is bad.  It just might not be good enough to see multiple times.  Star Wars the Force Awakens I think I saw 4 times, and may see a few more now that it is at the cheap theater near my house.  Deadpool I saw twice and have considered seeing it again. Batman V Superman however is probably going to be a one time theater viewing.  It is not bad. I just don’t think there is anything in the movie that makes me really want to go see it again right away.  Subsequent viewings are going to be DVD based.

Before I go to much farther, let me correct something quick.  There are two things I would like to really see again from Batman V Superman.  They are Amy Adams boobs. Technically you don’t see anything, but there is a scene near the beginning of the movie where she is in a bathtub, and I have no idea what her and Clark were talking about because I spent the entire scene trying to tell if I could see her nipples.  Maybe that is a failing on my part as a human being, but I also think it is a failing on the part of the film makers.  The reason being is that having her in the tub, clearly buck ass naked, was not needed.  It didn’t add to the story at all, and in fact was a bit distracting.  Instead of watching a scene where we are suppose to be gaining insight to Superman’s relationship with Lois and framing how we are suppose to view him as a “human”, we are instead sitting in a theater wondering “Hey are we about to see this hot red heads soapy wet boobs in a comic book movie that is PG-13 and not marketed solely to adults?”

Once again, maybe I was the only one thinking that exact thought, or thoughts along those same lines, but I still think there were probably a lot of people watching the movie who were taken out of the moment by the sultry manner of the scene.  There are so many ways they could have accomplished what they were trying to accomplished without having a Lois in the bathtub scene.  Hell, even put some bubbles in the water so pervs like me know that there won’t be any nips and you might as well focus on what is being said. Or have the same nearly see through water but have her sitting further down in the tub so only her head is poking out.  Or don’t have her move around and change position so that you get a super cleavage shot.

If you haven’t seen the movie than you are probably thinking that me spending two paragraphs talking about this scene is bizarre, but if you watch the movie you will probably point to a scene like this and think of it as emblematic of large parts of the movie.  This scene had the wrong tone, felt out of place, was distracting, didn’t really add to the story, and felt like it really would have worked well in a completely different movie. It is that last bit that I think really stuck out to me during the first third of the movie.  There were scenes that if put in another movie, would be decent or even really good scenes. This Lois in the tub scene would be good in a Nicholas sparks movie.  And I’m not saying a Lois in the tub scene can’t work in a comic book movie, because it totally can.  They just didn’t do a good job.

I do have some other non spoiler observations about the movie that don’t involve a naked Amy Adams, so why don’t I move on to a few of those.

  • I really hate that I saw the 2nd or 3rd trailer that basically spoils some of the big plot points and action sequences.  Going into the movie you kind of figure what happens is going to happen, but you don’t really know…. but if you watched that one trailer, then yeah. you know.
  • The dream sequences were really distracting and I think they could have been cut without loosing anything.  I know they were suppose to give an insight into the psyche of the main characters, but there was plenty of exposition outside of those dream sequences that did the job already.
  • The coolest parts of the movie really weren’t in the movie.  There are hints at future movies scattered throughout this movie that were fun and exciting to see and gives me hope for whatever comes next.
  • I really really don’t understand why they portrayed Lex Luther the way they did.  He was more like a Lex Luthor that was partially brainwashed by the Joker.  A cool idea if they had actually done that but, Spoilers, he wasn’t being mind controlled by the joker.
  • There was a couple of product placements early in the movie, that were terribly obvious. It felt like a Michael Bay movie early on.
  • The movie has a lot of parallels with Batman Returns which is a comic where Batman is older and fights Superman, but one of the coolest parts of the movie that surprised me was when the entire movie kind of turned on a dime and started to parallel another big comic moment / story line.  I’ll explain more further below in the spoiler heavy section.
  • The last half of the movie really picks up steam and there is a section of fight scenes that is genuinely gripping.
  • The third character that is in the movie, that was spoiled in the previews, but I won’t name now since some people might not know, is awesome.  I’m not even really a fan of that character but the person who played her was fan fucking tastic and stole the movie in all honesty.
  • There was also a lot of stuff that the characters knew about each other that is never specifically referenced or explained, but that is a good thing.  I won’t say who knows who is who or when they find out who is who or how they find it out, but the fact that they didn’t do some big reveal where the person is like “Ha HA, I know you are ________  because I __________ and then __________. .” is refreshing.  The audience should have been smart enough to read between the lines.
  • I loved all the random TV personality cameos, and I have a feeling that Neil Degras Tyson either wrote his dialog himself or just said that off the cuff cause it sounded exactly like what he would say if there was a superman.
  • The music was kind of bad in a few spots.  There were some musical stings that were so obvious that it seemed almost like the MST3k “Normal Viewwwww”

In summation for the non super spoilerly section of the movie It could have been better and it should have been better.  All the complaints people have about Zach Snyder and Christopher Nolan that I usually can ignore, were out in full force in this movie, especially in the first third.  That didn’t tip the scales into this being a not good movie, and I will absolutely see it again, I just don’t think this is as much of a home run as Warner Brothers was hoping it to be.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!

Now let’s get into the specifics.I won’t get into any of the overall big idea stuff here for the most part since I covered it above and instead look at things more on a glandular level. I do however want to start off by going back to my non spoilers summation and talk about one some of the complaints people had about the other Nolan and Snyder movies that I for once really didn’t like in this movie.

  • There’s no joy.  While batman and Wonder Woman had a cute little back and forth, that was about the only part of the movie that seemed at all fun.
  • Superman isn’t Superman.  I don’t get hung up on changes to characters and their tone for the most part, and I was ok with Sups killing Zod in the last movie, but I was kind of ok with that version of Superman with the assumption that he would in the subsequent movies start to be more inspiring. The true defining characteristic of superman is not his amazing powers but his ability to be that shinning beacon and to always do what is right and honorable.  Yeah he is a boy scout but in the best way possible. In this movie he doesn’t really inspire people to be better, he is just seen as being a better being and therefore worthy of praise. Sups needed to have more outward humility.
  • Even more superman not being superman, the very beginning of the movie has superman let a bunch of people get killed before he decides to show up and save Lois.  These movies really aren’t about saving lives and really are just about minimizing damages and losses.
  • Batman isn’t Batman.  there were a lot of things to love about this Batman and I am totally ok with them going with the more Frank Miller version of him.  My issue is that he totally kills a bunch of people in this movie and that he is constantly using guns in this movie.  those are two of Batman’s biggest no nos. i can almost forgive the parts where he uses guns, but only as part of a bigger machine like the batmobile, the batwing, or automated gun turrets while fighting superman. Fine. What I hated was all the other times he is holding a gun, where what he was doing could have been accomplished using a batarang.  Even in his dreams he is using guns A LOT.
  • Batman wasn’t the world’s greatest detective. In fact batman gets played big time in this movie.  There really was nothing in this movie where batman used that great tactician brain of his. Lex knew who Batman was. Superman knew who Batman was. Batman knew nothing. He is Jon Snow in this movie.
  • Batman was Batman big time, but only once.  Near the end when Batman visits Lex in Jail, is a totally classic badass Batman scene, and there should have been way more of that.
  • Batman actually wanted to kill Superman.  If I remember the comics correctly, in Batman returns, when he fights Superman he does so with the intention of just proving a point. In this movie, he was just about to kill superman, but Lois got in the way and saved the day. Speaking of which.

One cool moment was when superman asked batman to save his mom.  He called her Martha. Up until that moment, I don’t think I ever realized that both Batman and Superman’s moms had the same name.  I’m guessing that has been referenced in the comics before, maybe in an almost identical situation, but I don’t remember it.  For me it was a fantastic moment.

Speaking of fantastic moments. Everything with wonder woman was great. I will say however that I wish that she had been in mortal danger right before superman killed Doomsday.  The way it played out it kind of made Superman’s sacrifice kind of needless. If he had just had some patience and let WW or Bats go get the staff from Lois while he kept doomsday occupied, things would have worked out fine.

What the fuck was up with those dream sequences?  It didn’t feel like a long movie so were they just filler?  Also, I feel like the Flash going back in time part was actually real and not purely a dream, but… why did they make it seem like a dream?  Like can it both be a dream and something that happens in a future movie?

On the topic of the other Meta-humans, I was kind of excited to see cyborg even though I don’t really care much about him.  I knew about Aquaman and the Flash and WW already, so seeing Cyborg was a cool little reveal.

Did Perry White know that Clark is Superman?  When Lois asks for the chopper there is a moment where they communicated without saying anything that implied that he knew she needed the chopper to go save superman/clark.  Am I right on this or reading too much into it?

The bombing at the capital completely took me by surprise in a good way, and having superman stand there in the flames completely disappointed was a nice shot.  Once again though. Superman didn’t save the day at all.

and finally….

Seriously, what was up with Amy Adams getting all sexy wet in that tub?  Maybe not the way I should end this post, but God Damn that was distracting.

 

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