My own Sophie’s Choice – wallet edition

Looks like I have another big decision staring me in the face. Is it as big a decision as the one in “Sophie’s Choice”? Yes. Probably. Well maybe not. I’ll be honest, I don’t know that story very well.  I think it had something to do with a woman being forced to choose between saving her daughter’s life or her son’s life and then living with the guilt.  I’m on a computer, connected to the internet, writing a blog; I could very easily google “Sophie’s Choice” but I prefer to just have vague understandings of the literary references I make.

This is what my research came up with.

In fact, I think I’m going to make as many random, ham fisted, inaccurate literary references as possible in this post until the writing threatens to destroy the best minds of my generation by madness, starving hysterical, and naked.

So what is the major choice I have before me?  I need to decide on a new wallet.  I always hate wallet shopping because it seems odd to me that you have to spend money to buy something to then put money in, which can be a real catch 22 if you spend too much money on the wallet.

Why do I need a wallet? Well my last wallet was this sweet ass 49ers Velcro wallet that lasted about 3 years until it developed a rip and my credit card must have fallen out because when I looked, it was gone with the wind and probably lying in some leaves of grass.

I secretly called this wallet “The Panty dropper”

I tried finding a new cheap wallet that wasn’t too lame at places like Gabriel brothers and Marshalls but most of their selection was more than twelve dollars which was a bridge too far for an unimaginative leather bifold. Yeah I could see spending that on a wallet if I had Jay Gatsby money, but only if it was the one wallet to rule them all.

So like a young man I headed west, well really far west, or maybe really far east, and found a cheap wallet that I kind of liked on ebay from a seller in China.

I dub this wallet “The Lady Killer”

When I first ordered this wallet I had some great expectations, but soon I started to feel some buyers remorse.  Yes it only cost 5 bucks, but I was also ordering it from China which caused some concerns. First of all, who was making this wallet? was it some poor kids who worked in a wallet sweat shop during their down time when they weren’t building a bridge over the river Kwai, or working on an animal farm.  There’s a lot of white guilt going on knowing me and this wallet are going to be having the best of times while those kids have the worst of times.

Also it takes a long time for shipments from china to arrive as it takes that long and unexpected journey.  That is why I ended up finding and buying another wallet almost by accident while shopping at Ross’s.

I was just casually looking through their bin of wallets, and I spotted an unusual wallet that was bright and vibrant and full of colors and looked like it was something made in 1984. It was a marvel comic book wallet.  I tried to dismiss it knowing it was too childish, but the thought of that wallet hung in my mind much in the same way bricks do not hang in the sky. Plus this wallet was only ten bucks and when shopping I always consider the costs and don’t really just assume the ends will justify the means.

And you shall be called the “pussy soaker”

So I decided to forge ahead into this brave new world, bought the wallet, and we headed out on the road. But now I have two wallets which is as senseless as killing a mocking bird. So which do I choose? The lady (501 leather) or the tiger (Marvel comics).

Right now I am leaning towards the marvel comics wallet for two reasons. Number 1, it really is more representative of who I am. Number 2, all my stuff is already in it.  I think I will keep the 501 wallet on hand in case something happens like the temperature gets up to farenheit 451 and the wallet melts away, or if I have to go to the Sternwood place and I want to look neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I dodn’t care who knows it.

One thing I should mention is that the 501 wallet has a hidden zippered coin section.  It is kind of cool, but it also feels a little too European for me. Like the design is something you would see out of Paris which I am assuming is the fountainhead of men’s wallet fashion these days.

Now that I have made a decision to stick with the comic book wallet, I really do think I have found a separate peace in my selection.  True, I could get made fun of one day if I am around people that are overly critical of nerd stuff. I guess I would feel some fear and loathing in las vegas or New York or other swanky cities with active night lives where having a wallet like that is as bad as wearing a scarlet letter.

…… Catcher in the Rye.

Damn I couldn’t think of a way to work that in. I’m tired of trying to work in literary references. There were 29 above. Maybe tomorrow I will do a post where I force in a bunch of movie quotes. After all, tomorrow is another day.


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