2015 Pops FFL Draft Order

I am a fan of the FX show (well FXX show now) The League.  It is basically “Seinfeld” and “Sports Center” had a baby.  Like many fantasy football leagues across the country, the League that my friends and I run every year have shamelessly ripped off parts of the show for the betterment of our FFL. We have a trophy that we named after a sexual conquest of one of our members. We all uniformally hate one member of our league more than any other. We also have a few team managers that are almost never seen.

One aspect of the show I have tried to adopt is to have a fun and unique way of determining the draft order each year.  A couple years we used a nascar race to determine the draft order. One year I used a naked Ukrainian webcam model to pull names from a hat.

This year I want to do something more exciting and special.  I have a few ideas I am kicking around

series of 50 / 50 sporting prop bets

This scenario works well in my head, but is difficult to explain.  The basic idea is to have a August Madness type bracket for the 14 people in the league… well, ok that doesnt really work since the number of teams needs to be divisble by 4, but… hmmm.  ok, why don’t I  give a concrete example of how this would work.

We have 14 teams in our league. Let’s say we use this weekend’s golf event for the first round of are draft position tournament.  Today Jordan Spieth shot a 64 to move into the top 10 at John Deere PGA event.  We could say that there is about a 50/50 chance he will finish in the 3 by the end of this tournament. So we take 7 of our 14 teams and say that if Jordan finishes in the top 3, they will be guaranteed a top 7 draft position, but if he doesn’t finish in the top 3, the other 7 members of the Pops FFL now get that guaranteed top 7 draft position.

So that would be the first round, and the second round would work the same way but with this time a 50 / 50 type bet being used to determine who out of the top 7 would now get a top 3 or 4 pick and also which out of that bottom 7 group would be guaranteed a bottom 3 or 4 pick.  It is a little clunky in round two since you are working with odd numbers and can’t evenly split the top half of seven or the bottom half of seven.

This is making sense right? Well just in case its not lets use another example. So let’s say that I was part of the group hoping Spieth finished in the top 3, and he did.  I and 6 other pops FFL members are now guaranteed a top 7 pick in our draft in September. This group will be split into two groups, one with three teams and the other with 4.  So the next 50 / 50 prop is based around the all star game.  3 of the 7 teams in my group (guaranteed at top 7 spot) are going to be assigned to root for the NL and I am in the group of 4 that are rooting for the AL.  If the AL wins those three teams get a guaranteed top 3 pick. If the NL wins then I would be in the group of four that is now guaranteed a top 4 pick.   All this would also be mirrored with the bottom 7 draft picks as well.

So now we are at the third round where we have 4 distinct groups that know approximately where they are going to draft within three to four positions. Here we could have the final draft order decided by a nascar event, where every Pops FFL team is assigned a nascar driver.  How well your driver does compared to the drivers assigned to the teams in your group determines the final draft order.

As an example; lets say I was on the loosing end of the Spieth bet meaning I was relegated to a bottom 7 draft pick. Next I was part of a group of 3 that had been on the winning end of the NL vs AL bet.  Now I am guaranteed to get either pick number 8, 9, or 10.  Drivers names are drawn out of a hat for each team. I get Jimmy Johnson, and the other two teams that are also locked into getting either the 8, 9, or 10 draft slot get Jeff Gordon and Buckshot Jones.  They race… a race, I don’t know when Talladega is but I think that is later in the year so I will make up a fictitious race.  They race the Incest 300 at the Tuscaloosa International Speedway with Jeff Gordon coming in 5th, Jimmy Johnson 12th, and Buckshot Jones finishing 18th.  So now the team member who had Gordon would be drafting 8th, I would draft 9th, and the guy with buckshot would draft 10th.

Simple right?  I think so.  I’m sure there are some Pros and Cons that I could list out here, but instead I will let the reader do that in their head or in the comments section.

Series of 50 / 50 non sporting events

Same set up as above but this time instead of specific sporting events, we would use cultural events as the basis.  This could be geo-political, cultural, or entertainment focused utilizing prop bets that had a set date for an expected out come, or a time frame for an even to occur.  As an example you could use something like Will Marvel’s Ant Man make more than 200 million at the US box office in its first full week?  Will the Fantastic Four movie have a stinger at the end of the credits?  Will the animated DC movie coming out at the end of July have a reference to the Bruce Tim Verse? Will I come up with a prop that doesn’t involve comic book movies?

Twitter shoutouts

This is an idea I had that seemed fun in my mind but in application would be impossible.  I thought it would be cool to tweet at a bunch of sports talk shows or sports personalities or really just anyone famous who would respond and ask them which they though was a better fantasy football team name. I would ask them to choose between two of the team member’s FFL names and the team they picked would then move on in a similar fashion to the ncaa bracket.  The problem is that after the first round you immediately have a 7 way tie for last which means to get a definitive draft order using this method I would have to get a minimum of 21 responses by my calculations with two respondents needing to rank a three person group. hmmmm I think that number might need to be higher actually. Well whatever.

I just wanted to be able to put together a little video or slide show with screen caps or audio recordings of people liking or shitting on team names.  The only problem, well aside from getting people to actually respond is that, the draft order would be less about chance and more about how good your team name is. So something lame like Bonka might have no chance of getting a good draft pick…..wait.. maybe this is a good idea.

Webcam babe again

One year I found a completely bored, partially naked, possibly eastern european woman on myfreecams who agreed to draw the names from the hat, and i’m not sure why.  The way that site works is basically just like a strip club.  A girl is on her web cam in a public chat room where anyone can see her.  People tip her money (“coins”) and she does stuff, sometimes via request or just at random depending on how much tipping is going on. Like a real strip club you don’t have to tip at all and can just hang out and enjoy the show and hope the other patrons keep making it rain.

There is something akin to a lap dance where you can pay a per second fee to take a model into a private chat room but where other people can pay a lower amount per second to spy on it. So kind of like peeking around the corner to check out your buddy getting a lap dance I guess.  Then there is an exclusive or true private where no one can spy and i think it costs more, and is the equivalent to the champagne room at a strip club.

Just like a real strip club, if you spend too much time on myfreecams, you probably have made some bad decisions in your life, and if you are spending any money there it better be a one time thing like for a bachelor party.  So, do I want to try and find another random somewhat hottie to draw the names (which I tried last year and failed miserably) or do I pony up some dough to get someone to do it by tipping coins?

I am going to vote no. First of all, why do the same thing that we basically did before? Second, how much would it cost?  A lot of the models have an itemized breakdown on their profile of how much you have to tip for them to do something, but most of those line items are sexual in nature and not often related to fantasy football.   Another problem is that I don’t feel like doing the conversion of coins to us dollars to figure how much actual cash money something might cost.

Porn star 

Same thing as above but on some of the webcam sites there are legit pornstars hanging out there making bank.  From what I’ve seen a lot of those models are a little… or a lot, past their prime, so I don’t know how awesome it would really be.  Plus having any kind of porn star cred makes their online tipping coin per minute private exclusive whatever rate jump up substantially I think.

Secret Idea

So when I first started typing all this I was toying with a few ideas, but by the end of the blog post I had narrowed it down to one very specific, and potential awesome idea that really combines many of the cooler aspects from the other ideas listed above.  I think I am going to keep this a secret so that I can reveal it at the draft for everyone’s enjoyment.  Still I think I should at least give a hint as to what I have planned.

“Whooooooooo!!!!!! gonna get me some cold cuts.”

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