How will Sons of Anarchy End?

Sons of Anarchy only has three episodes left and last week’s episode seemed to wrap up one of the major plot lines and also introduce what is likely to be the main driving factor for the remaining three episodes.  There are a lot of threads remaining and I thought I’d make some guesses as to how they will wrap up.

Obviously there are going to be spoilers below.

Lets recap all of the still standing main and somewhat ancillary characters:

  • Jax – has a psycho kid that just told him his mom killed his wife
  • Gemma – responsible for 90% of the deaths on the show
  • Juice – getting ass raped by Marilyn Manson on the reg
  • Nero – supposed to be retiring to a farm and still loves Gemma for some reason
  • Chibbs – banging the sheriff
  • Tig – In love with Cletus Van Dame
  • Rat Boy – I guess he is an important figure now
  • Opie’s old lady played by winter Avi Zolli who’s name I don’t remember – porn

    splooosh…. btw where the hell are Opie’s kids and mother?

  • RoboCop – not really important any more i don’t think
  • Alvarez – same with him
  • August Marks – in jail but… i can’t see him going out the way he did
  • Henry Lin – see above
  • Unsur – still alive somehow
  • Chucky – had a nice moment with Gemma a few months back and is the way I want to remember him
  • Wendy – is now able’s mom again
  • Happy – Happy

Ok now lets list all the current story lines that are still in play:

  • Gemma killed Tara and Jax knows.
  • SAMCRO under attack from the rest of SOA
  • Henry Linn / August Marks
  • …. other stuff I guess?

There was a point about two seasons ago where I stopped trying to really follow the constant shifting alliances, deals, and double crosses and just tried to focus on the characters themselves.  It wasn’t a conscious decision, I just think my brain got tired of trying to justify why any gang would trust any other gang based on how they constantly stab each other in the back or fail to deliver on promises.

I could spend a lot of time right now bitching about how I think the show fundamentally changed from when it started to where it is now, but it is what it is, and even though I don’t think the last few seasons can hold a candle to the first few, there are still good moments and good episodes that are better than a lot of other things on TV right now.  In fact, last weeks episode was the best of this season.

I don’t know if I want to put a lot of effort into justifying a lot of my predictions, so some of them will probably just be one or two sentences, while some others I think I might cause me to prattle on for a paragraph or two if I feel strongly about it. Let’s get started.

Predictions

Uncer isn’t going to die, cancer or otherwise.  I think it’s a cool idea that the guy who has been on death’s door step all series long is one of the few left standing at the end.  I will say it might be cool for something bad happening cause he didn’t do something he said he would cause he ends up in the hospital with a sudden case of way too much cancer.  They can’t really do it cause how many viewers even remember he still has cancer at this point.

Wendy has to reject Jax.  I don’t know if Jax is even going to make a move on her but while she was a shitty mother the first season when she was over dosing, Jax and Gemma have really more than paid her back in kind.  Does anyone remember when Jax gave her a hot shot after she had been clean for so long.  He’s not good for her or anyone, so if she really wants to be a mom she has to be there for the kid but not for Jax. I would like for her to be strong enough to carry on without Jax or Gemma.

she then spends the rest of her life trying to learn how to correctly say the name “Christopher”

Venus is in for a bad day. I don’t know if she will be left crying over Tig’s dead body or vice versa, but I can’t see them riding off into the sunset regardless of how nice it might be.

Chucky ends up staying where he is at with the SOA business stuff, primarily RedWoodie, maybe he even ends up doing weird hand amputee movies with the hot girls.

Happy probably gets killed during the final scrum.  He’s a good soldier but there’s not much else to him as a character so while him getting killed would add something in terms of emotional value to any deaths the sons are still left to suffer, I don’t think it would be so impactful that it would need it’s own moment like Bobby or Clay.

Ohhhhhhh I just thought of something… never mind.  I was thinking about Chibbs and his chick the Sheriff and why it is kind of ridiculous they care about each other so much despite them not being together all that long. Honestly how long have they been together?  I know it is hard to tell the passage of time on a show like this, but it can’t be more than a few months.  So while I was thinking about that I thought that maybe the reason she is with him is that she is actually the rat.  But I don’t think that makes sense given some of the stuff she has done for the sons and the lack of knowledge she has about what they have been planning as they go.

Chibbs and the Sheriff ride off together, back to Ireland.

Rat boy might be the rat but probably not. I think he ends up being the defacto Jax once the dust settles and everyone else that matters is gone.

That Big SOA Dude or the latino SOA dude is the Rat. I think we are all on the same page that Jury isn’t the rat.  It made sense until Jury actually started talking. Now i’m sure it is someone else. Yeah it would be a cool twist if it was happy or tig, but none of that really makes any sense given how loyal everyone is.  The rat could also just be something simple like a hidden mic in the ice cream social club house.

Nero I think will give up on Gemma and just move to the country with his boy cause jesus, someone who is even a little bit decent has to make it out of this thing in one piece.

Marks and Lin team up, get out of jail either on bond or some other BS, and raise hell against the Sons.  Even though Jax, pretty much knows the truth now about Gemma, he can’t go back to Lin and go “hey, my bad”.   because ….

The sons have to win that fight but just barely, maybe with the help of the entire SOA family from across the nation.

Juice… I don’t know, maybe he kills Marks. I know he was a turn coat, kind of, but I don’t know if a life time of butt rape is proper punishment for what he’s done. I’m not sure if I even remember what he did.

Jax finds that copy that tara made of his dad’s diary that mentions that he thinks gemma is going to kill him. Ok I don’t remember if that thing got burned up or not, maybe it’s gone, but I thought that when the new hooker was going through the files at Diosa that maybe the one box they gave her might have the book in it that tara hid. Now that i’m thinking of it, i’m pretty sure Gemma found that already and burned it. I don’t know what i’m talking about.  Either way Jax is going to find a way to prove that Gemma killed Tara since it’s the whole “we need proof on clay” thing all over again.

Jax gets confirmation that Gemma killed Tara from Juice.  This one might make more sense than what I said above, but Juice had an opportunity to mention this before and didn’t. Then again he wasn’t getting butt rapped back then either.

Jax can’t kill his mother, but banishes her from ever seeing her grandchildren since that would be the thing that hurts her the most in life.

I kind of hope that Kurt Sutter doesn’t try and wrap up every loose thread and leaves a few hanging similar to the way the Shield ended. Granted that show had characters that didn’t live and die just by one single thing that the entire show is focused on like we have with SOA, so it is easier to explain why you didn’t need a definitive ending for Dutch and Claudette.

Ughhhhh now i’m thinking about that fantastic ending montage for the shield. You know what. Fuck it, I can’t think of any plausible ways for SOA to end, so I’m going to end this post with the best ending montage ever.

……

DAMNIT  ok so youtube took down the ending montage of the shield and I can’t find it online anywhere so I’ll toss up the silver medal.

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New Podcast Idea

Popspodcast is no more. Well technically I still have the site up and the recordings are still there, but I haven’t even though about recording anything in the longest time.  More accurately, Popspodcast is dead, and I might actually end up taking it offline just because I’m kind of afraid one day a coworker might find their way to it and then things could be awkward if they find either subject material offensive or they just really don’t like how Bonka use to bring the whole thing to a grinding halt.

Honestly, I don’t think a podcast can work over skype, which I feel was one of the major drawbacks to that podcast. You don’t get the right kind of back and forth the way you do with a face to face podcast.  To me it is the difference between being a passive participant in a conversation between friends at someones house and ease dropping in on a telephone call.

Why am I suddenly thinking about my long neglected podcast? Well I’ve been expanding the number of podcasts I follow thanks to a nice little app I found called “Podcast Addict”. There are probably many similar podcast aggregate tools that function in a similar manner to how itunes works but just for android, but this is new to me and I like it.

he most recent obsession for me has been the Todd Berry podcast, which is fantastic just like much of his stand up, and I ended up binge listening to about 10 of his episodes over the last three days. I’ve added that podcast to my weekly rotation which also includes Star Talk Radio, Mohr Stories, and Fatman on Batman.  I have thought about tossing in the Nerdist, WTF podcast, Adam Carolla podcast, or Comedy Bang Bang, but I don’t want to over dose on witty yet insightful listening since I also spend a large portion of each week day listening to Mike and Mike, Dan Patrick, and Jay Mohr Sports (although the changed start time for “Jay Mohrs” kind of fucks up my schedule).

I didn’t really answer the question about why I was thinking about my podcast though. The main reason I was thinking about it is that I came up with an idea of what I would like to do if I were ever to start one up again. Since there are already so many great podcasts, radio shows, etc… why not just make a rip off podcast.  I could phrase it as an homage podcast, but that sounds too classy for what I was thinking, although it might be a better descriptor than “Ripoff”.

My goal wouldn’t be to either take something someone else did and copy it for my own gain, or to be something where I take an idea from someone else and put my own spin on it and make it mine.  Instead I was thinking that this hypothetical podcast is more along the lines of taking topics or talking points from other podcasts, TV Shows, Websites, and deconstructing them, challenging them, expanding on them, satirizing them, or just reviewing them.

As a for instance, I was listening to Mohrstories recently and he had a draft of the funniest, yet not very popular comedians. I think Bill Burr was the number one pick which I agree with, but kind of feel like he might explode in popularity soon similar to the way guys like louie C.K and Patton Oswalt have over previous years (but maybe not to that degree).  The hypothetical Ripoff podcast could do the same thing, probably with a tweak such as not being so restrictive on who is and isn’t popular, but of course we would mention where we got the idea from. Another idea would be to do a Q and A similar to what they do on Star Talk Radio with their Cosmic Queries except I wouldn’t have real answers like Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson and instead would just make shit up and see if it even comes close to the answer he gave.

Just using podcast as the source is too restrictive so I also think profiling certain websites might also work.  I would love to do a run down of ideas for HowitshouldHaveEnded or debate an upcoming or past episode of death battle from ScrewAttack.  How about listing all the Sins a CinemaSins review of a movie commits (like over using the word “cliche” cliche *ding*). We could come up with our own The Onion headlines and stories, or bitch about the rankings on …. well ranker, but also any website that does a poorly informed top however many list designed as click bait.

There could also be recurring features that would be blatant copies from other shows such as at the end of the podcast a “What did you learn today” segment just like they do on the DP show, or maybe even reading a selection of Bonka’s Tweets just like Ricky Gervais use to do with Karl’s diary. EPSNs PTI has a ton of bits that they do (Over Under, Role Play, What’s the word, Odds Makers) that could be done to break up sections of the podcast. Even something like one sentence movie reviews of shows or movies that I saw recently could be added even thought it isn’t a rip off of any one person or show but is more of a general internet running gag/thing.

Obviously the fun of a podcast like this wouldn’t come from copying something someone else did and trying to repeat it verbatim. Instead there would be a vicarious nature to it where you could take part in something that you enjoy but normally could only experience passively as an audience member.  Granted, there wouldn’t be any illusion that a segment or topic would rise to the same level as that of the originator. But it might be fun to participate in and maybe listen to.