I love Screwattack.com ‘s death battle web series, but i’m super frustrated because they had been teasing the Godzilla Vs. Gamora Deathbattle and the day it was suppose to launch, they had a hard drive crash which means it’s going to take a while longer for the video to show up online. Yes, i’m upset at not getting something that is freely distributed by a group of people who owe me nothing at all and whom i have never given them any type of financial or other benefit. That’s just the type of person I am.
While I wait patiently for this latest death battle to materialize, I started to think of what other death battles I’d like to see. While Screw Attack goes into great detail about the strengths, weaknesses, and motivations of the combatants, I’m going to keep it real simple… just the way I like my women.
Silver Surfer Vs. Green Lantern
I’m a big Silver Surfer fan so it’s not like I haven’t complemplated how he’d fare against a wide range of super powered characters, but one of the great things about these Death Battles is they do a good job of pairing people who are comparable in abilities, gimicks, or power level. They also usually shy away from people fighting who have already fought before which is why Thor vs. Silver Surfer wouldn’t make my list here. The problem with both characters is that both have had widely variable levels of power based on who is writing for them and what a story might call for.
In the end I think that the Surfer might just be too fast and too powerful, but even if he wasn’t, he probably has the edge just because he gets his power from the entire universe, where as Hal Jordan/Jon Stewart/Kyle Rainer/etc… all pool from a single power source. It’s possible with Surfs abilities to track energy signals he might be able to co-opt the green lanterns power or even destroy the latner, or maybe even Oa.
Power Rangers Mega Zord Vs. Voltron (maybe have Gypsy Danger referee)
Usually the Death Battle folks do one on one matches, but there’s been a few exceptions like when they had a Ninja Turtle battle Royale, or a three way Pokemon fight. It would be cool to see all the famous Giant fighting robots fight, so sure throw in whatever the hell a gundum is or a battle tech or maybe the Iron Giant if you want. Me, all I know are the three I mentioned above. I think Gypsy Danger’s inability to survive in space makes it a long shot in the fight, plus the other two have the advantage of having the 5 person marital arts team to support it, where as Gypsy Danger just has the world champion of bro walking.
One on One I want to give the win to voltron but I think that realistically it might really go to the power rangers since they have like 50 different megazords and voltron only ever had two from my recollection.
Jem vs. Dazzler
I really don’t care who would win this but I think Screw Attack could have fun with this the same way they did when they had Star Scream vs. a my little pony, i forget the name of the pony but i guess it is actually a really bad ass pony in the cartoons.
Unicron Vs. Galactus
This would be the hardest one to decide just because both characters have powers that are kind of undefiend. Are they gods? can they even be hurt? What or Who can they actually kill? I would root for Galactus, but from some of the stuff I’ve read it might actually be a Unicron win since I think even if he is destroyed he’d come back alive cause he’s a force of the universe. Then again if Galactus lost then the whole universe would die or get destroyed or something so… Push?
Dark Hawk vs. Dark Wing Duck
This is a rediculous premise but it is all based on the word dark being associated with a winged creature, and being awesomely 90’s. Let’s take a look at each character and tell me who you think would win.
First up Darkwing Duck a.k.a Drake Mallard (holly shit I can’t believe I remember his name off the top of my head.)
And now one of the most 90’s marvel comic characters ever (who wasn’t a mutant with a thousand random pouches on their uniform)
Even with the help of Gizmo Duck I think Drake Mallard is fucked.
Optimus Prime Vs. Leader 1
I know the Go Bots came first but Jesus were they lame. Winner: Optimus “Michael Bay stop raping my corps” Prime
Heathcliff Vs. Garfield
Ok I don’t care about this either, I just was spitting out ideas at this time.
She-ra Vs. Wonder Woman
It fills me with so much shame that I saw She-ra in the theater like 7 times as a kid. I still know nothing about She-ra so I’m going to give the win to Wonder Woman based solely on the many random celebrity photoshops featuring her.
Strider (Aaragorn) Vs. Madmardigan
You could also substitue in Enigo Montoya for Strider, but really I just need a kick ass sword fight. Maybe have Jack Sparrow vs. The Dread Pirate Roberts. Shit that’s a way better idea, although I do think that Val Kilmer in Willow is crazy under rated. Ok maybe a mini sword fighting tournament…. with Zoro, rob roy, and some other famous swordsmen thrown in. The winner is: