NBA Finals live blog … kind of

The NBA finals are really heating up now that the series is tied at two games a peice. I just noticed that game five was about to start so I thought I’d live blog the entire game. But then I got distracted so I’m picking it up at the end of the first quarter. I hope nothing amazing happened in the first 10 minutes.

Wow, MIA just had a shot clock violation, even after Jason kid flopped on the play and basically made it a four on five contest for four or five seconds.

I knew Juan Howard was on the team but I just couldn’t believe he was still in the league until when I just saw him just now. I thought it was one of those things like in Hockey where ever five years or so they would let Gordy Howe play a real game even though he was fifty. Was that gordy Howe I’m thinking of?

Holy shit, awesome last second three by Chalmers

Oh, yeah I guess I did miss something at the begining; Dwane Wade got shaken up charging to the rim.

At the first quarter break I will mention two things, Miami doesn’t look like it has anyone who actually wants to take a shot. And two, Juan Howard is unstoppable from 9 feet with no one gaurding him.

Time to make some pizzza.

Ok start of 2nd quarter. Right now heat is up one, but Mavs offense still looks more organized. It’s like Dallas is setting up their offense just like any NBA team would, but the Heat are playing like a bunch of guys on the playground just making it up as they go. Granted they are playing like the way you see when one team is way more talented than the other on the playground, but Dallas is in the game cause they are still good and allow their offense to put them into the position to take better shots.

Wade has a hip contion… which sounds like what trainers and doctors call it when your hip hurts and theres no real medical reason like a break or a tear or something bad like that. Wade is going to try and play through it.

This might be the first time i’ve ever seen Chris Bosh play, and I have to say that one on one, he is pretty money.

eddie House is in the game. He and Juan Howard were the kings of NBA video game free agency. Those two would be on my team at least twenty or thirty times since they were always available and when signed made great trade bait.

It’s amazing how much that guy in the coolers light commercial who does all those kids movies looks just like that rapper Ice Cube from NWA. Remember they sang “Fuck the Po Lease” . I think they even use the same name. Maybe it is spelled differently.

6:17 left in the 2nd and Heat up 47 to 44. Dwane Wade is in, and immediatly is trying to take over the game. I don’t think I’ve even seen Labron hangel the ball aside from a dribble or two followed by a pass or one time he got a quick rebound on a good pass off a pick and roll.

If they can use pick and rolls to get Dirk to pick up Bosh and then use iso so that Bosh can score or pick up a foul yhou could quickly get Dirk in foul trouble or start to build a lead.

AIRRRRR BALLLLLL

MIA takes a timeout which means I know have to watch a preview for Kevin James zoo keeper movie. It looks terrible. I know everyone thinks that and it’s easy to poke fun at a movie that is basically a rip off of doctor dollitle, but whatever.

Very very good play comming out of break for the heat. and now on this play Haslem is just standing there looking lost.

Eddie House has played for 9 different teams in 11 years according to the announcers. Wow he really is just like his EA sports counterpart.

Three minutes left in half and all I can think is that championship teams know how to close out quarters and halves. Right now Mavs are doing the better job of closing out the half eventhough MIA closed out the 1st quarter better.

Jason Terry was being trippled team which seems liked one or two more people covering him than you need. Marion just got Ted up for no real reason. Supposedly he talked to a ref which in the NBA is a no no.

wow, i have no idea what the foul just called was for. Dirk had the ball and Wad and Hasslem was around him and …. foul??/1?!???

I’m reallyh liking Mario Chaulmers. Also, if the mavs win the series, Jason Terry should be the MVP.

Time out with a minute left in first half. Time for some Greschetta brick oven pizza.

And Mavs go into the half with a 60 to 57 lead.

Sweet, Connan the Barbarian trailer. And the following Burger King commercial looked like food porn.

KIA is the official car of the NBA. How many NBA players do you think drive a KIA? I will eat this whole pizza if more than 5 players in the entire NBA own a KIA. Ok, fine I am going to eat this whole pizza anyways, but still… KIA????

Lebron is only 4 of 10 in this game, and hasn’t made any points outside of the paint. Wade is hurt and is 7 of 8 from the floor.

HAHAHHAHAH this commercial for 101 ways to leave a game show (that’s the name.. the terrible, terrible name) actually advertised itself as “from the creators of Wipeout!”. Isn’t wipeout that shitty game show where they have a wall come at you and there is a cut out and you have to try and stand in the right pose or you get shoved into a pool?

Nice, they mentioned NWA durring the Tyson Chandler segment.

i bet the Tmobile chick is a complete freak in the bedroom. Like, she begs for anal.

Her real name is Carly Foulkes

ok, i’m done with my pizza and just want the 2nd half to start. My prediction for the 2nd half is that Dallas will win. They shot 66 percent in the first half and the heat had like 9 turnovers. The heat should be down by more than 3 points. I’m thinking the heat won’t be as lucky in the second half and even though dallas won’t shoot as well, they will still shoot well enough to keep their lead.

Mike Miller with back to back threes from the same spot on the floor.

The locker room chick just said that the Hip of Dwane Wade is “touch and go” which is a little over the top in my opinion. I think that phrase should usually be reserved for medical situations. like, life and death medical situations, not my hip hurts medical situations.

"Mrs. Smith, I have some grave news concerning your son. I'm sorry to tell you that despite our best efforts.. your son has an owie."

And now back to back threes by Dallas is giving them a 6 point lead. How much do you think it helps Berea to have a role model like Jason Kidd? you know, a role moddel in a basketball sense. Not a roll model in a treat your wife well sense.

Haslem is the Heat’s version of Malik Rose.

With as well as the Mavs are playing it is insane that they are only up four.

Speaking of insane, tmobile girl looks crazy hot when naked and in black and white.

Well never mind, two minutes later and that lead is up to nine thanks to some awesomess by jason kidd. Once again, that awesomeness is in terms of basketball, not in awesomeness in terms of husbandry.

Jesus christ Brooklyn Decker is hot as shit. If Obama wants to get reelected he should just run on a platform of inacting a law forcing Brooklyn Decker to be in a bikini and either wet or sweaty at all times.

Lebron finally hit his first shot not in the paint.

Holy shit, Dwane Wade just had one of the best looking passes i’ve ever seen.

That tall white guy Cardinal for the Mavs is on the floor like every other second in this game.

End of third and the Mavs have a 5 point lead.

It wasn’t a flagrant foul. It was a hard foul, although in slow motion Juan Howard did look like an old school bad ass. Granted he’s old enough that he could have played on the pistons when they had the bad boys.

Barrera’s head is either too big, or his body is too small.

“Critics everwhere agree Super 8 is amazing” no, no they don’t all agree. I’ve heard a bunch of critics say it’s just like Indiana Jones 4.

9:35 left and Mavs have a 5 point lead. 4 point lead. 2 point lead. 5 point lead, giant head barea with a three. 3 point lead. 4 point. 5 point. time out with 6:48.

3 points. Lebron has 8 assists. 9 assists now and a one point lead for the mavs. Lebron has a tripple double.

Miami one point lead after awesome pass by Wade to Hasslem.

The Heat can hold on and win this one, only if they don’t tighten up. In the first quarter there was good passing like there is right now but peole were hesitant to shoot once they got the open look off of the good pass.

Friends with Benefits looks EXACTLY like that movie with Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher, like the only difference is they switched out Portman for Mila Kunis, and Ashton was substituted by Justin Timberlake.

ill the one announcer just said Lebron messed around and got a tripple double.

Heat up 4. up 3. Up 2.

Another good pass by Wade, and bad free throw by Bosh. Makes the second and it is a three point lead for the heat.

Terry left wide open and we are tied up. Wow, how does he get that wide open. Is mike miller in instead of chalmers. I’d keep Chalmers in.

Mavs up two. Dirk is pumped. Wow all the mavs are pumped after taking a good charge against Lebron.

No points in 4th quarter for Lebron. and he just missed a long wide open three. He’s been doubled the whole 4th quarter so it’s not totally his fault, but now he’s not in rythm so he’s not going to make the shots he is given.

Bam, the Wife beater hits a big three and Mavs are up 5.

Game… probably. only 1:45 left.

Now only 56 seconds and Bosh going to the line. Prior to that was two, what the fuck plays with Marion not making a lay up and then Wade getting blocked at the other end.

Misses the second, Mavs up four.

WOW, Jason Terry nails a three with Haslem right in his face. BOOM. If he misses, people would have complained that it was a bad shot selection and that he should have gotten Dirk the ball and used more clock and blah blah blah. But he made it. It’s a fine line between a confident superstar play and a arrogant knuckel headed play. I was wrong it was Lebron in his face.

five point game, 25 seconds to play.

“one thing i know about Jason Kidd, he’s not affraid of the moment”, also he’s not affraid of women. 7 point lead again.

Was Shawn Marion just doing a Jerking off motion?

Oh shit, very hot brunette. I bet she has a hot southern accent and love cow girl anal. Oh the game is over by the way.

The heat played a really good game, the Mavs just played a better game. I think the big mistake the heat made was takin Chalmers out and putting miller in once the Heat got the lead.

Oh btw I was wrong about Wipeout. It’s even worse. Wipe out is nothing more than an expensive but less funny rip off of MXC Elimination Challenge or whatever its called. Fuck that makes that commercial even stupider since you are taking credit for doing nothing more than ripping off a bat shit crazy Japanese game show.

I could live blog the ABC27 local nightly news, but that would be stupid, so I’m otta here.

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