Top 10 Legendary Superheroes

I saw an article on Askmen.com with the headline “Top 10: Legendary Superheroes” but I haven’t looked at the actual list yet.  There’s two reasons why.  First, I hate when they have each entry on its own page.  I much prefer a longer page layout where a 10 item list is broken up between two or three pages.  The worse is when it is a crazy long list like “The 100 most kick ass things that are awesome” and you have to load a brand new page for each of the 100 entries.  Its even worse when each entry only has one or two paragraphs associated with it.  It’s bullshit.

Reason number 2:  I wanted to write my own superhero top 10 list and see how closely they match up.  Here’s the problem, the intro to the article does a piss poor job of explaining what type of criteria they are using when determining the top 10.  Is it the ten most popular?  Maybe the ten most iconic?  How about the ten most heroic or influential?  I have no idea, but peep out the intro and see if you can guess.

They patrol the streets and skies, keeping us safe, fighting evil and generating huge box-office takings. They are superheroes, with their brightly-colored costumes, special powers and deadly adversaries. And their adventures aren’t just for kids any more, with critically-acclaimed writers getting in on the act. So, to celebrate the theatrical release of Green Lantern this month, here are our favorite legendary heroes of all time.

By the way, it’s kind of weird that they are celebrating the theatrical release of Green Lantern with this list since Thor and X-Men first class already hit the theaters this summer.  This might mean the list might have a DC bias, but I’m not going to let that effect my rankings.  My rankings will be based on a several factors, include almost every major DC and Marvel character, and will involve a complex formula to determine each super heroes score… is what I would say if I was putting any real effort into this thing.  Instead I’m just going to wing it.

# 1: Superman

spoiler alert, he is able to shoot tiny supermen out of his finger tips

He is the most iconic super hero ever and will probably remain so for decades, if not centuries to some.

#2: Batman

You could make an argument for switching the top 2 spots depending on what criteria you are using.  Since I’m not using any criteria I’ll keep him at number 2.

#3: Spiderman

I actually own this comic

Stan Lee (the creator of Spiderman and frequent cameo junkie from Marvel movies) said that the great thing about Spiderman is that under his mask he could be anyone.  He has the boy next door feel you can’t get from either Batman or Superman, yet a lot of his stories have enough gravitas to put him on par with any other superhero.

#4: Wolverine

ehh, close enough.

I’m sure 10 or 15 years ago Wolverine wouldn’t be this high on the list, but he is, so just deal with it.

#5: The Incredible Hulk

you just hear piano music in your head didn't you?

The top two spots went to DC, but now marvel has started to represent big time.  I don’t think either of the Hulk movies were bad, I just think that even with the sophistication of CGI, it is still near impossible to make a believable looking Hulk and give it any kind of villain that is believable.

#6: Wonderwoman

The third most fappable Super Hero (psyloke #1, White Queen #2)

I never cared about Wonderwoman, but it would be hard to leave her off a top 10 list.

#7:  Flash

hahahahahahahhahahahaha

About now is when you have all of the super heroes that comic book fans would consider top flight and just as important as Superman and Spiderman, but to the average person, these are the superheroes you know of, but don’t really know that much about.  If I was doing a list that was more based on substance, I would probably throw Rorschach in here  or maybe some of the other non DC or Marcel characters.

#8: Rorschac

Fuck it. I’m putting him in anyways.  Oh, and don’t give me shit about saying that Rorschach isn’t a DC character when the watchmen series was published by DC.  Look, Rorshach was supposed to be the Question, and Night Owl the Blue Beetle but DC wouldn’t let Alan Moore kill any of them since they had just bought their rights from another comic book company they had recently acquired.  Plus Rorschach wasn’t part of the continuity of the DC universe the way Superman, Batman, and Aquaman were.

#9: Green Lantern

Did he really pal around with Green arrow just because they have the same favorite color?

I’m not putting any villians on this list since the article says superheroes specifically.  Joker, Lex luthor, and other villians would probably rank way higher on here than Green Lantern, but since it’s hero only, I’m starting to run out of top flight iconic good guys….. shit, maybe I should have included Robin here.

#10 Silver Surfer

Spiderman is so fucked

Yeah he probably doesn’t belong on this list, but he’s my favorite super hero of all time so I have to show him some love.

So let’s see their list starting with number 10.

#10: Daredevil

Wow, totally forgot about this guy.  It’s amazing how much that shitty movie hurt daredevil’s stock.  Fuck was that playground daredevil, Elektra sea saw fight stupid as hell.  I mean, how does that go down, and yet she has no idea who daredevil is?

#9 Iron Man

Meh.  If it wasn’t for the awesomess of RDJ’s Iron Man movies than I don’t think Iron Man would be on the list.  He’s an alcoholic and looks like a robot, that makes him a less kick ass version of Bender from Futurama.

#8 The Flash

I had him at number 7 so it looks like we are in the same ball park.

#7 Green Lantern

I really don’t think the movie is going to be that good.  Ryan Reynolds was born to play Deadpool.

#6 Captain America

what the hell is wrong with his body

Shit, did I really forget to include him on my top ten list?  He use to punchasize hitler’s face all the time back in the day.

#5 The Hulk

Boom, nailed it.

#4 Wolverine

Awesome, I’m so Awesome.  I bet a run the table from here.

#3 Spider Man

Awwwwww shit son, it’s on.

#2 Batman

Yes. Yes. Yes. i’m going to go five for five in the top five.

#1 Silver Surfer

No I’m just kidding, it’s superman.

Holy shit did they really not even list Wonder Woman in their top 10.  Well I guess that’s why it’s Askmen.com and not Askwomen.com.   “” Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.” – Rorschach

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