Possible topics for next podcast

Here are some links and talking points for the next podcast which hasn’t really been scheduled yet.

I was wrong on the roulette odds:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roulette

http://www.thehighdefinite.com/2011/06/longtime-suspect-admits-to-role-in-tupac-shooting-at-quad-studios/

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/damon_hack/06/16/eugene.profit/index.html?xid=cnnbin the next dykstra

http://www.tmz.com/2011/06/14/shaquille-shaq-o-neal-sextape-shaunie-court-divorce-nba-criminal-case-gang-members-divorce-kidnapping-robbery-robert-ross-crips/

http://www.scribd.com/doc/57840168/Father-s-Day-Story-June-2011

Green lantern review

Fast Five review

Splice Review

Weiner resigned http://www.cnn.com/2011/POLITICS/06/16/weiner.future/index.html?hpt=hp_t2
http://www.tmz.com/2011/06/16/congressman-anthony-weiner-im-resigning-quiting-stepping-down-twitter-facebook-scandal-lewd-photos-pictures-house-members-gym/      – hilarious hecklers

http://www.wwtdd.com/2011/06/sean-bean-is-the-coolest-dude-on-earth/

http://www.wwtdd.com/2011/06/crystal-harris-is-a-complete-bitch/

http://www.tmz.com/2011/06/17/crystal-harris-hugh-hefner-wedding-canceled-jordan-mcgraw-doctor-phil-recording-studio/

what the fuck does she have to cry about.  sticker at the newsstand.

http://www.tmz.com/2011/06/16/lenny-dykstra-send-me-to-rehab/ all dykstra all the time.

http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/21/lost-actor-marries-16-year-old-girlfriend/

http://warmingglow.uproxx.com/2011/06/like-a-boss#page/11http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/21/lost-actor-marries-16-year-old-girlfriend/

http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/21/walter-jones-war-why-lawmaker-is-challenging-obama-on-libya/?hpt=hp_t2

http://newsgroups.derkeiler.com/Archive/Rec/rec.gambling.poker/2005-08/msg04075.html

 

http://www.cnn.com/2011/TECH/web/06/20/domain.names.explainer/index.html

http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2011/05/10-interesting-celebrity-facts/

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/i1nic/what_is_the_worst_thing_you_or_your_partner_has/

God Damn this is an awkward video

http://cnn.com/video/?/video/bestoftv/2011/06/13/exp.Behar.Gene.Simmons.hln

So Gene Simmons life partner shannon Tweed walked out on him during a segment on CNN.  It has to be the most awkward thing I’ve watched since Boom Goes The Dynamite.

You know what, Gene Simmons has always seemed like kind of a tool, but this video does him no favors.  If you take away being a member of KISS and just look at him and the way he looks acts and thinks, she is sooooo god damn far out of his league.  If you throw in the fact that he was in KISS she is still sooooo god damn far out of his league.

Seriously, KISS only had like three songs that aren’t terrible, and they only got super famous because of all the stuff not related to music like dressing up like assholes on stage.

To put this in better perspective, here are a bunch of photos of the hotness that was shannon tweed… she’s still kind of hot but.. you know.

more recent but still totally doable

that is asstastic

this is barely safe for work, and by barely i mean would you even try to explain to your boss that it is work place appropriate just because you technically can't see nips or vag?

 

ok this is illegitimately safe for work

 

If you want to see more pics of Shannon with the quasi safe for work bunny logo nip and vag coverings go here: http://coedmagazine.com/2010/04/13/shannon-tweed-playboy-photos-gallery/shannon-tweed-playboy-4/

NBA Finals Semi live blog II

NBA Finals Live Blog

I’m kind of sleepy so this live blog is going to be sparse at the begining i’m guessing.

Lebron just had one of the most over exagerated fouls, where a fould should have been called but because he over sold it the ref was like “fuck you.”

Both teams are playing almost franticlly right now. They both really seem to want to win the game.

Barea is killing the heat already just with his ability to create shots for himself and others.

Lebron just hit his fourth shot of this first quarter. He’s four for four and looks kind of unstoppable when he’s knocking down these pull up jumpers.

Chevy truck commercial had a voice over that didn’t quite make sense. It was something like “Because sometimes what you carry is heavier than what your hauling.” and it showed this chevy truck guy getting out of his truck holding a baby in his arms. Shouldn’t hey have said that what your carrying is more “presecious” rather than “heavy”. Its one of those lines of dialouge where it sounds like it makes sense unless you actually listen to it.

Heat are really clicking right now. Anthony had great D on Dirk just now but dirk just hit a crazy tough shot.

Dirk just picked up his second fould and there’s only 5:11 left in the first. That is an excellent strategy for the heat in my opinion. Dirk isn’t that good on D and chris is one of your stars so why not have him try and attack dirk. Lebron just missed his first shot.

Jason Terry hits back to back shots off the bench cause he’s money as shit in the two games I’ve watched of his so far. He won’t win MVP but really he should.

I would bang the shit out of Danica Patrick.

Is lebron doing LSD? Oh, it’s an energy strip.

Right now they are going over the Wade/Lebron coughing controversy. I could care less.

Shawn Marion sucks ass on offense. Didn’t he use to be good when he was with the suns?

Holy shit they are still taling about the coughing incident.

The guy who is subbing for Dirk, looks like that guy from that movie “It’s a funny story” who was drawing a beaver in the previews.

Not the guy with the beard.

Lebron is streaky. Made first four missed last three. Lebron did pickup a charge on chandler so he’s doing it on D.

Wow nice steal by Terry taking a pass away from Lebron and then taking it to the other end for a score.. yet another reason he should be MVP.

Terrible pass by Lebron when Miller wasn’t looking led to turnover and now the mave sup 32 to 24. Miami should have been able to go on a run when Dirk sat down but it actually seemed to hurt them.

I love Ryan Oreilly doing his mehem commercials.

Ughhhhhhhhh T mobile girl. I bet if the acting carrer goes no where and she turns to high end escorting, at least half of her clients would make her wear that dress from the commercials.

Their marketing strategy should be that if you buy a phone you get to bang her. Over night Tmobile is largest cell phone retailer in the world.

Ok start of the second quarter with Dallas up 32 to 27. and now 34 to 27. The heat seems to get into trouble when they have to start settling for threes and long jumpers.

God Dallas is doing a great job of passing out of doubles. they are making the heat do a ton of running to cover the open man. Dallas on the other hand are expending a hell of a lot less energy on D right now.

I hate commercials with animals or lizards, or insects or whatever cause it usually makes Star go insane as she attacks the screen trying to play with whatever she is seeing.

ABC’s PanAm looks somewhat terrible. Like it isn’t even it’s own TV series, it’s just something that was thrown together in an effort to copy the sucess of Mad Men.

pictured: pimptasticness

Eddie House hits a three cutting the Mavs lead to 9. They need to make more of a Dent before the end of the first half.

Now a 5 point lead. Still lots of time left in first half for Dallas to make a run which is what I predict will happen. It honestly to me seems like Dallas plays their offense the same way the entire game and the only reason they surrender any leads is because when the Heat are playing their offense the way they want to their just better, but the Heat don’t play it that way for a whole 4 quarters.

Lebron still on the bench, and the heat have been on a run while he’s sitting there. Now the lead is only 3 and with the way they are playing it’s hard for me to put him back in. And now a one point game.

Wow. Awesome block by Wade on the 7 footer and then House nails an open three. Oh Shit i fight just broke out.. AND THEY WENT TO COMMERCIAL????

Chaulmers wasn’t that out of line comming into that where you had four guys surrounded his guy who was getting shoved around.

i love how announcers will immediatly say something while watching a play and then when the see a replay they will analyse it so that it reinfordes what they alread said and will fight to hold onto that opinion until one of the announcer final gives in and changes his mind then they all follow suit.

So the Mavs instigate the shoving match and then they are the ones who get to shoot the technical.

Wow, how do they not call a foul on Nowitzki there. That’s bull. Lebron final comes back in, and my guess is he’s not goign to be in rythm. wow an Dirk follows it up by basically going over the back on James.

Marion does suck on offnse right now.

Holy shit Jason Terry is money. Nowitzki is sucking ass this game. one for nine. BAM Terry just nails a three giving him 17 first half points. Ok Two and a half left in first half.

i’m loving the still shots of past NBA Finals they keep showing during intermissions.

BANG Terry does it again.

Half time, a.k.a pizza time for johnson.

Awesome this pizza is.

Dallas didn’t really make that run like I thought they would at the end of the half since both teams kind of sucked ass down the stretch. Still Mavs are up 53 to 51 and I’m not sure who I’m rooting for anymore. At first it was the Heat, but after the last game and a half, I might be rooting for the Mavs. My problem is that the veterans on the Mavs who might be having their last shot at getting a ring are veterans I really don’t care about. If they retire with no ring I could care less. This isn’t Stockton and Malone or Carles Barkley being denied by Michael Jordan.

Ok, i’m bored with half time, lets start the game again. Also, that Kevin James zoo keeper movie looks God Damn Awful.

The 2nd half starts with a good make by Dirk and then Chalumers with a three on the other end. Now a miss by Dirk with straight up one on one D. I like that strategy with Dirk shooting poorly.

Barea is making the heat look silly. He’s like a Giant headed John Stockton… just with less assists.

Holy shit what a terrible posession by the heat, they passed out like 20 open jumpers and now the next time down the floor wade doesn’t pass and takes a three pointer with a man in his face. Makes no sense.

Mavs up 7.

Chandler should have had his fourth foul… and now they realize it could only have been causing the foul and gave it to him.

Heat have no answer for Bearea and Terry. Ok maybe they do with that block of bearea. btw I have no idea if i’m spelling his name right. Wow. Now Barea just picked up a charge on James who just tried to bowl him over while backing him down after a defensive switch.

The heat are going to lose this championship because of their Defense not because Lebron isn’t scorring enough.

i will say that I think Lebron is getting fouled on a ton of plays without anything being called.

Marion still sucks on offense.

So in this jim Carrey penfuin movie preview it looks like one of the penguins attempts to give Jim Carrey Head and Jim responds by saying “That’s not fair” as if his only weakness is penguin blow jobs.

don't really know the history of this meme.

72 to 67 Mavs lead.

HAHAHHAHAHAHHA Marion has the shittiest free throw shot. It looks like he’s playing one of those arcade basketball games.

Jesus Juan Howard, shoot fould shots much. Wow big three by Jason Kidd. Nice pass by Terry for an assist as the end of the third quarter as the buzzer sounds. That was all after the heat played good D but didn’t get the rebound after a rushed shot by Marion. Yep Marion missed a shot. AMAZING.

9 point lead for Mavs. Poor free throw shooting is killing the Heat.

Dirk just picked up his third foul although it should be his fourth. Christ another missed free throw. Chandler gets his fifth foul. Miami is attacking the basket and drawing fouls which might be huge if they get int the bonus early in this 4th quarter.

Mavs only up 4. Now the foul was changed to Nowitzki. Barea hits a huge three and on the other end Eddie house misses his attempt. Terry makes a steal, and draws a foul while shooting… because he’s an MVP.

Mavs up 8 now with 9:30 to play.

Tmobile girl wants it bad. She uses that tmobile phone to set up BBG three ways every night. one cock isn’t enough for her. She also uses the internet feature on her Tmobile to post on craigslist to try and set up an interracial gangbang. She said she wants the guys to be tested but aside fromt hat she wants it feel dangerous.

i heart her forever.

Wow, Jason Terry is averaging a point a minute off the bench. Mavs up 10. nine minutes left. aaannnnddd awful shot by lebron followed by barrera just dribbling around everyone and then hitting an iceman gervin type shot.

Game. I’m calling it now.

The fouls are mounting for dallas but it might not matter with their lead and under 6 minutes left.

i’m really impressed with Bosh. He’s been money and fills his role perfectly. If the Heat loose, which they probably will, you can’t put any of the blame on him.

ewwwwwwww avocado on subway subs sounds terrible.

seven point lead for Mavs and Heat have the ball. If they don’t score here then they loose in my opinino… you know unless they play really well after that and the Mavs don’t. Oh never mind, dallas has the ball. Mario Chaulmers is such a liability on D this game, at least it seems like he is.

Once again it looks like Lebron was fouled going to the rim but no fould was called. annnnddd poor rebound by the Heat which leads to an offensive rebound by Mavs. Ten point game again.

8 point game and wade doesn’t get a foul call. The heat suck at the line but they should still at least get a chance to shoot the foul shots after getting fouled.

Another O Rebound for the Mavs. Ok, the Shot Dirk just made is impossible to defend unless you put Jesus Mcguyver on him.

game over. Well 2 min left, but yeah, game over.

Jesus, Jason Terry just owns the Heat. Lebron with a three but it doesn’t matter. Do the Heat know they are down nine with 1:07 to play cause they aren’t trying to force a turnover. Back to Back three point misses by lebron and James. holy shit like 50 seconds left and the Heat just gave up. Only bosh was trying to foul or force a turn over. Fucking terrible on Miami’s part.

18 seconds left and miami only needs to make up 13 points. sooooo four quick… very quick threes and then one more FG and you win, just as long as Dallas doesn’t score. Yeah let Shawn Marion hold the ball during the final seconds, he deserves it. Dirk just ran off the court so he could cry by himself. No shame in that.

i think the Heat really need to find a 7 footer that can rebound and play defense. Rebounding killed them this game, plus barea had three or four points in the paint which shouldn’t happen if they had a big man to block or alter those shots.

Jason Kidd has been in the leage 17 years. dang.

Jason Terry player of the game, but probably not MVP. just to fuck with Lebron they should give him the MVP.

giving the trophy to the first owner of the Mavs was a nice touch by Cuban. Ok, just tell me who the MVP was so I can poop out some of this pizza.

Ok Dirk won MVP, was that any surprise. i love bill Russel not saying a word, just giving the trophy to Dirk and then walking off stage. He wasn’t above the situation but he knew it wasn’t about him and didn’t need to hang around. Russell looks like he still can get pussy at his age.

Weird ass dream

I don’t know why, but over the past three months I’ve been having some really weird dreams.  None of them overly fucked up where I wake up and want to sell my fathers company cause some guy spining a dradel told me to.  They are more just completely random. Like the madlibs version of dreaming.  So I decided I should track some of the more crazy ones on here.

like most dreams that I remember, my memory starts right in the middle of the action of the dream with virtually no context to put it in perspective.  So I’m on an airplane but I think I’m part of a movie set on an Airplane and the movie is staring daniel craig.

My favorite Photo bomb of all time, James Bond photobombing Taylor Swift

I don’t think I’m an actor in the movie, I just think that in the weird dream world that it was a movie and I was a character in it.  This is where it got kind of Meta in the dream. Everyone on the plane pauses the movie, that they themselves are a part of, to check imdb to see what the scene we were just a part of meant.  There was a cliffhanger that had some luggage rotating on the bottom of plane with names on it and depending on what name was focused on by the camera, we would then learn who the bad guy or good guy or about to be dead guy was.  Sadly the director did a shitty job of showing the name long enough for us to read which is why we went on IMDB to see what other people had commented on the movie said about this scene… that we were just a part of.

Also while we are doing this, Daniel Craig and I guess the bad guy are having an air surfing battle like you would have seen on the saturday morning cartoon Tail Spin.

how is this not a real life sport.

I get bored with the movie I’m apart of and decide that while i’m on IMDB I’ll start talking with some people about how awesome the show ER was.  I start chatting with people on IMDB (which is now a room with a bunch of people in it) about how the show should have naturally ended with Mark Green’s death and that although it has some good moments after that, it was a good stopping point for anyone who doesn’t want to watch 15 seasons of a prime time show.  Everyone is agreeing with me cause i’m awesome at IMDB discussions.

Next thing George Clooney/Dr Doug Ross walks out of the meeting and heads to the basement.  I follow cause I know it’s time for my shift.  See now I am somehow I’m working in basemant of ER where deliveries of organs are made.  This is one of those things that makes perfect sense in the context of the dream world, but i’m sure Freud would just say I’m following George Clooney so he can bang me in the ass.

I really should have chose a different pic for clooney. Seriously if I looked like that, I'd beat off to my reflection in the mirror contantly.

I Get a random organ delivery, like a spleen, liver, nose, and take it up to docs without incident.  I think that this is no longer a movie that i’m a part of and is just my job in the dream world context, but if it had been a movie, this would have been a scene that was included only so the audience could understand what a standard delivery is supposed to entail so that the drama of the next delivery will resonate with those not in the medical field.

Next delivery we get, which I  think is sent to us through a series of pneumatic tubes, is a still beating heart. The way we find out it is still beating is cause my hot coworker accidentally spits on it when opening the container and that causes it to start beating.  You know because before the heart was asleep and not moving around that much and kind of looked like a normal not in a human body type heart.

For some reason the fact that it is till beating means that there isn’t enough time to use the required procedures that can’t be rushed.  So I try and rush things so that whoever needs this heart gets it; lives are on the line here.  But i’m not fast enough and I’m trying to run up the ridiculously complex stairs to where the heart surgeons are and some how the purpose of my journey has changed from trying to get this heart to someone on time and moved to me trying to get it to the docs in a way that no one will notice its too late and that way I don’t get fired.  As I’m trying to go up the stairs I see the Doctor who I guess is my protagonist and if he sees me with the heart he’ll rat me out for being late, so remember Nurse Lydia from ER?

This was one of the top google image search results for "Lydia ER Nurse". She's the one on the right, but the rest of it is kind of fitting for my dream.

Well she says that she will distract him so I can slip by.  Lydia goes up to the doctor and her way of distracting him is to gives the doc a blow job in basically a public stair well.  I don’t mean like an enclosed back of the building stair well.  I mean a giant wood and glass mammoth stair case in the middle of the lobby that is more there for its aesthetics than functionality.

At first her tactic has thrown me off but the doctor seems thoroughly distracted so I sneak by and find the doctors I know well and I’m like, uhhh hear is the heart that only seconds ago was delivered.  Must have been a delay on someone elses part.  The docs are like, whys it late again, and i’m like check out that blow job, they don’t seem to really care about heart or bj and just keep talking about how the chocolate factory is going.

In dreams you just don’t need segueys, but just so you understand the Docs in the hospital turned into the IT people I worked with two and three jobs before. They tell me that the heart was for the one guy who owned one of the chocolate pits made from choc covered pants and other fabric.  I in my real life never worked at a chocolate factory, but these IT people I know in real life are now in this dream all working at a chocolate factory where you have these factory lines where you use chocolate covered …. anything to create the patterns of the chocolate.  So one guy used chocolate covered shorts so that when the chocolate flowed into his line the shorts would separate it out into two streams and then he had a bunch of assorted chocolate covered stuff that then would further separate the chocolate into the right pattern.  One of these things was a chocolate covered dust buster.

my image search for "chocolate covered dust buster" came up empty. This is a fair compromise I think.

One of my IT buddies tells me it’s only 800 if I want the vat that the guy missing a heart use to own so that I can make my own chocolate.  my old work buddy Erik wants to partner up.  He’s now a chain smoker that lives in Florida and is fronting the money since even in dreams i’m poor.  Sounds like a solid business model so we go into business together.

We Start mixing the samples of the chocolate we want in our candy bars and Erik turns into shaq.

I didn't make this photo shoped horror so don't ask me what its purpose is.

We both simultaniously come up with the idea for the Super Dupper Peanutbutter Chocolate bar. Since we can’t compete with Hershey’s we thought this would be a good way we could get some sales off people who thought we were a part of Hersheys.  See Hershey park has the supper dupper looper roller coaster and the logo for the candy bar is a loop or circle or something.  Then Shaq wants a chunky peanut putter chocolate bar.  I want a george washington Carter peanut butter bar to court the black demographic.

We use some Disney animated mice to make the molds to save money over having the factory make the molds.  I thought the mice would be cheap slave labor but Shak wants to pay them their normal fees which are crazy expensive.  Also the mice do a shitty job.

Get the fuck back to work.

While this is going on Shaq is also doing a shitty job of mixing the chocolate and peanutbutter for the test run, and some how gets shreaded nacho cheese into the mix.  The whole thing looks like one of those buffets where there’s a mexican section right in the middle of the italian section and the nacho chesse and lettuce is everywhere cause people just don’t give a a fuck.

Then my alarm goes off, I wake up, and I write all of this down for my loyal readers.  Tomorrow at some point I’m going to post my NBA finals live blog… which really isn’t a live blog at all if you want to be a dick about it.

NBA Finals live blog … kind of

The NBA finals are really heating up now that the series is tied at two games a peice. I just noticed that game five was about to start so I thought I’d live blog the entire game. But then I got distracted so I’m picking it up at the end of the first quarter. I hope nothing amazing happened in the first 10 minutes.

Wow, MIA just had a shot clock violation, even after Jason kid flopped on the play and basically made it a four on five contest for four or five seconds.

I knew Juan Howard was on the team but I just couldn’t believe he was still in the league until when I just saw him just now. I thought it was one of those things like in Hockey where ever five years or so they would let Gordy Howe play a real game even though he was fifty. Was that gordy Howe I’m thinking of?

Holy shit, awesome last second three by Chalmers

Oh, yeah I guess I did miss something at the begining; Dwane Wade got shaken up charging to the rim.

At the first quarter break I will mention two things, Miami doesn’t look like it has anyone who actually wants to take a shot. And two, Juan Howard is unstoppable from 9 feet with no one gaurding him.

Time to make some pizzza.

Ok start of 2nd quarter. Right now heat is up one, but Mavs offense still looks more organized. It’s like Dallas is setting up their offense just like any NBA team would, but the Heat are playing like a bunch of guys on the playground just making it up as they go. Granted they are playing like the way you see when one team is way more talented than the other on the playground, but Dallas is in the game cause they are still good and allow their offense to put them into the position to take better shots.

Wade has a hip contion… which sounds like what trainers and doctors call it when your hip hurts and theres no real medical reason like a break or a tear or something bad like that. Wade is going to try and play through it.

This might be the first time i’ve ever seen Chris Bosh play, and I have to say that one on one, he is pretty money.

eddie House is in the game. He and Juan Howard were the kings of NBA video game free agency. Those two would be on my team at least twenty or thirty times since they were always available and when signed made great trade bait.

It’s amazing how much that guy in the coolers light commercial who does all those kids movies looks just like that rapper Ice Cube from NWA. Remember they sang “Fuck the Po Lease” . I think they even use the same name. Maybe it is spelled differently.

6:17 left in the 2nd and Heat up 47 to 44. Dwane Wade is in, and immediatly is trying to take over the game. I don’t think I’ve even seen Labron hangel the ball aside from a dribble or two followed by a pass or one time he got a quick rebound on a good pass off a pick and roll.

If they can use pick and rolls to get Dirk to pick up Bosh and then use iso so that Bosh can score or pick up a foul yhou could quickly get Dirk in foul trouble or start to build a lead.

AIRRRRR BALLLLLL

MIA takes a timeout which means I know have to watch a preview for Kevin James zoo keeper movie. It looks terrible. I know everyone thinks that and it’s easy to poke fun at a movie that is basically a rip off of doctor dollitle, but whatever.

Very very good play comming out of break for the heat. and now on this play Haslem is just standing there looking lost.

Eddie House has played for 9 different teams in 11 years according to the announcers. Wow he really is just like his EA sports counterpart.

Three minutes left in half and all I can think is that championship teams know how to close out quarters and halves. Right now Mavs are doing the better job of closing out the half eventhough MIA closed out the 1st quarter better.

Jason Terry was being trippled team which seems liked one or two more people covering him than you need. Marion just got Ted up for no real reason. Supposedly he talked to a ref which in the NBA is a no no.

wow, i have no idea what the foul just called was for. Dirk had the ball and Wad and Hasslem was around him and …. foul??/1?!???

I’m reallyh liking Mario Chaulmers. Also, if the mavs win the series, Jason Terry should be the MVP.

Time out with a minute left in first half. Time for some Greschetta brick oven pizza.

And Mavs go into the half with a 60 to 57 lead.

Sweet, Connan the Barbarian trailer. And the following Burger King commercial looked like food porn.

KIA is the official car of the NBA. How many NBA players do you think drive a KIA? I will eat this whole pizza if more than 5 players in the entire NBA own a KIA. Ok, fine I am going to eat this whole pizza anyways, but still… KIA????

Lebron is only 4 of 10 in this game, and hasn’t made any points outside of the paint. Wade is hurt and is 7 of 8 from the floor.

HAHAHHAHAH this commercial for 101 ways to leave a game show (that’s the name.. the terrible, terrible name) actually advertised itself as “from the creators of Wipeout!”. Isn’t wipeout that shitty game show where they have a wall come at you and there is a cut out and you have to try and stand in the right pose or you get shoved into a pool?

Nice, they mentioned NWA durring the Tyson Chandler segment.

i bet the Tmobile chick is a complete freak in the bedroom. Like, she begs for anal.

Her real name is Carly Foulkes

ok, i’m done with my pizza and just want the 2nd half to start. My prediction for the 2nd half is that Dallas will win. They shot 66 percent in the first half and the heat had like 9 turnovers. The heat should be down by more than 3 points. I’m thinking the heat won’t be as lucky in the second half and even though dallas won’t shoot as well, they will still shoot well enough to keep their lead.

Mike Miller with back to back threes from the same spot on the floor.

The locker room chick just said that the Hip of Dwane Wade is “touch and go” which is a little over the top in my opinion. I think that phrase should usually be reserved for medical situations. like, life and death medical situations, not my hip hurts medical situations.

"Mrs. Smith, I have some grave news concerning your son. I'm sorry to tell you that despite our best efforts.. your son has an owie."

And now back to back threes by Dallas is giving them a 6 point lead. How much do you think it helps Berea to have a role model like Jason Kidd? you know, a role moddel in a basketball sense. Not a roll model in a treat your wife well sense.

Haslem is the Heat’s version of Malik Rose.

With as well as the Mavs are playing it is insane that they are only up four.

Speaking of insane, tmobile girl looks crazy hot when naked and in black and white.

Well never mind, two minutes later and that lead is up to nine thanks to some awesomess by jason kidd. Once again, that awesomeness is in terms of basketball, not in awesomeness in terms of husbandry.

Jesus christ Brooklyn Decker is hot as shit. If Obama wants to get reelected he should just run on a platform of inacting a law forcing Brooklyn Decker to be in a bikini and either wet or sweaty at all times.

Lebron finally hit his first shot not in the paint.

Holy shit, Dwane Wade just had one of the best looking passes i’ve ever seen.

That tall white guy Cardinal for the Mavs is on the floor like every other second in this game.

End of third and the Mavs have a 5 point lead.

It wasn’t a flagrant foul. It was a hard foul, although in slow motion Juan Howard did look like an old school bad ass. Granted he’s old enough that he could have played on the pistons when they had the bad boys.

Barrera’s head is either too big, or his body is too small.

“Critics everwhere agree Super 8 is amazing” no, no they don’t all agree. I’ve heard a bunch of critics say it’s just like Indiana Jones 4.

9:35 left and Mavs have a 5 point lead. 4 point lead. 2 point lead. 5 point lead, giant head barea with a three. 3 point lead. 4 point. 5 point. time out with 6:48.

3 points. Lebron has 8 assists. 9 assists now and a one point lead for the mavs. Lebron has a tripple double.

Miami one point lead after awesome pass by Wade to Hasslem.

The Heat can hold on and win this one, only if they don’t tighten up. In the first quarter there was good passing like there is right now but peole were hesitant to shoot once they got the open look off of the good pass.

Friends with Benefits looks EXACTLY like that movie with Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher, like the only difference is they switched out Portman for Mila Kunis, and Ashton was substituted by Justin Timberlake.

ill the one announcer just said Lebron messed around and got a tripple double.

Heat up 4. up 3. Up 2.

Another good pass by Wade, and bad free throw by Bosh. Makes the second and it is a three point lead for the heat.

Terry left wide open and we are tied up. Wow, how does he get that wide open. Is mike miller in instead of chalmers. I’d keep Chalmers in.

Mavs up two. Dirk is pumped. Wow all the mavs are pumped after taking a good charge against Lebron.

No points in 4th quarter for Lebron. and he just missed a long wide open three. He’s been doubled the whole 4th quarter so it’s not totally his fault, but now he’s not in rythm so he’s not going to make the shots he is given.

Bam, the Wife beater hits a big three and Mavs are up 5.

Game… probably. only 1:45 left.

Now only 56 seconds and Bosh going to the line. Prior to that was two, what the fuck plays with Marion not making a lay up and then Wade getting blocked at the other end.

Misses the second, Mavs up four.

WOW, Jason Terry nails a three with Haslem right in his face. BOOM. If he misses, people would have complained that it was a bad shot selection and that he should have gotten Dirk the ball and used more clock and blah blah blah. But he made it. It’s a fine line between a confident superstar play and a arrogant knuckel headed play. I was wrong it was Lebron in his face.

five point game, 25 seconds to play.

“one thing i know about Jason Kidd, he’s not affraid of the moment”, also he’s not affraid of women. 7 point lead again.

Was Shawn Marion just doing a Jerking off motion?

Oh shit, very hot brunette. I bet she has a hot southern accent and love cow girl anal. Oh the game is over by the way.

The heat played a really good game, the Mavs just played a better game. I think the big mistake the heat made was takin Chalmers out and putting miller in once the Heat got the lead.

Oh btw I was wrong about Wipeout. It’s even worse. Wipe out is nothing more than an expensive but less funny rip off of MXC Elimination Challenge or whatever its called. Fuck that makes that commercial even stupider since you are taking credit for doing nothing more than ripping off a bat shit crazy Japanese game show.

I could live blog the ABC27 local nightly news, but that would be stupid, so I’m otta here.

Top 10 Legendary Superheroes

I saw an article on Askmen.com with the headline “Top 10: Legendary Superheroes” but I haven’t looked at the actual list yet.  There’s two reasons why.  First, I hate when they have each entry on its own page.  I much prefer a longer page layout where a 10 item list is broken up between two or three pages.  The worse is when it is a crazy long list like “The 100 most kick ass things that are awesome” and you have to load a brand new page for each of the 100 entries.  Its even worse when each entry only has one or two paragraphs associated with it.  It’s bullshit.

Reason number 2:  I wanted to write my own superhero top 10 list and see how closely they match up.  Here’s the problem, the intro to the article does a piss poor job of explaining what type of criteria they are using when determining the top 10.  Is it the ten most popular?  Maybe the ten most iconic?  How about the ten most heroic or influential?  I have no idea, but peep out the intro and see if you can guess.

They patrol the streets and skies, keeping us safe, fighting evil and generating huge box-office takings. They are superheroes, with their brightly-colored costumes, special powers and deadly adversaries. And their adventures aren’t just for kids any more, with critically-acclaimed writers getting in on the act. So, to celebrate the theatrical release of Green Lantern this month, here are our favorite legendary heroes of all time.

By the way, it’s kind of weird that they are celebrating the theatrical release of Green Lantern with this list since Thor and X-Men first class already hit the theaters this summer.  This might mean the list might have a DC bias, but I’m not going to let that effect my rankings.  My rankings will be based on a several factors, include almost every major DC and Marvel character, and will involve a complex formula to determine each super heroes score… is what I would say if I was putting any real effort into this thing.  Instead I’m just going to wing it.

# 1: Superman

spoiler alert, he is able to shoot tiny supermen out of his finger tips

He is the most iconic super hero ever and will probably remain so for decades, if not centuries to some.

#2: Batman

You could make an argument for switching the top 2 spots depending on what criteria you are using.  Since I’m not using any criteria I’ll keep him at number 2.

#3: Spiderman

I actually own this comic

Stan Lee (the creator of Spiderman and frequent cameo junkie from Marvel movies) said that the great thing about Spiderman is that under his mask he could be anyone.  He has the boy next door feel you can’t get from either Batman or Superman, yet a lot of his stories have enough gravitas to put him on par with any other superhero.

#4: Wolverine

ehh, close enough.

I’m sure 10 or 15 years ago Wolverine wouldn’t be this high on the list, but he is, so just deal with it.

#5: The Incredible Hulk

you just hear piano music in your head didn't you?

The top two spots went to DC, but now marvel has started to represent big time.  I don’t think either of the Hulk movies were bad, I just think that even with the sophistication of CGI, it is still near impossible to make a believable looking Hulk and give it any kind of villain that is believable.

#6: Wonderwoman

The third most fappable Super Hero (psyloke #1, White Queen #2)

I never cared about Wonderwoman, but it would be hard to leave her off a top 10 list.

#7:  Flash

hahahahahahahhahahahaha

About now is when you have all of the super heroes that comic book fans would consider top flight and just as important as Superman and Spiderman, but to the average person, these are the superheroes you know of, but don’t really know that much about.  If I was doing a list that was more based on substance, I would probably throw Rorschach in here  or maybe some of the other non DC or Marcel characters.

#8: Rorschac

Fuck it. I’m putting him in anyways.  Oh, and don’t give me shit about saying that Rorschach isn’t a DC character when the watchmen series was published by DC.  Look, Rorshach was supposed to be the Question, and Night Owl the Blue Beetle but DC wouldn’t let Alan Moore kill any of them since they had just bought their rights from another comic book company they had recently acquired.  Plus Rorschach wasn’t part of the continuity of the DC universe the way Superman, Batman, and Aquaman were.

#9: Green Lantern

Did he really pal around with Green arrow just because they have the same favorite color?

I’m not putting any villians on this list since the article says superheroes specifically.  Joker, Lex luthor, and other villians would probably rank way higher on here than Green Lantern, but since it’s hero only, I’m starting to run out of top flight iconic good guys….. shit, maybe I should have included Robin here.

#10 Silver Surfer

Spiderman is so fucked

Yeah he probably doesn’t belong on this list, but he’s my favorite super hero of all time so I have to show him some love.

So let’s see their list starting with number 10.

#10: Daredevil

Wow, totally forgot about this guy.  It’s amazing how much that shitty movie hurt daredevil’s stock.  Fuck was that playground daredevil, Elektra sea saw fight stupid as hell.  I mean, how does that go down, and yet she has no idea who daredevil is?

#9 Iron Man

Meh.  If it wasn’t for the awesomess of RDJ’s Iron Man movies than I don’t think Iron Man would be on the list.  He’s an alcoholic and looks like a robot, that makes him a less kick ass version of Bender from Futurama.

#8 The Flash

I had him at number 7 so it looks like we are in the same ball park.

#7 Green Lantern

I really don’t think the movie is going to be that good.  Ryan Reynolds was born to play Deadpool.

#6 Captain America

what the hell is wrong with his body

Shit, did I really forget to include him on my top ten list?  He use to punchasize hitler’s face all the time back in the day.

#5 The Hulk

Boom, nailed it.

#4 Wolverine

Awesome, I’m so Awesome.  I bet a run the table from here.

#3 Spider Man

Awwwwww shit son, it’s on.

#2 Batman

Yes. Yes. Yes. i’m going to go five for five in the top five.

#1 Silver Surfer

No I’m just kidding, it’s superman.

Holy shit did they really not even list Wonder Woman in their top 10.  Well I guess that’s why it’s Askmen.com and not Askwomen.com.   “” Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.” – Rorschach

The Wire as 70’s Cartoon

Saw this on Comicalliance today.  I wish I had any artistic talents cause I’d love to try and make one where its like the challenge of the super friends and Herc and Carver are the wonder twins.

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9919&page=1#Item_0

BTW the dog is suppose to be Prezbo which makes the fact that he’s just holding a gun in his mouth hilarious.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Reply