Last night I was at my part time job and I got to thinking about the staggering number of jobs I’ve had in my life. Since I love talking about myself  I’ve decided to list them all here in order from first to most recent.

  1. Bingo Hall Quarter Collector – I was going to throw in the word “Executive” to add humor to this entry, but I think the idea of me working in a ghetto area of harrisburg bingo hall is humorous enough.
  2. Nursing Home Dietary Aid/Kitchen Cleaning Guy – I forget what the official title was of the guy who worked a little later than all the other dietary people and was responsible for cleaning everything in the kitchen, but that was the job I had towards the end of my Villa Theresa days.  The begining and middle part of my Villa Theresa days was spent in this order: Pots and Pans, Dishes, Main Dinning Hall, 3rd and 4th floor dinning halls, Trays, Cooks assistant.  Everyone of those jobs was soul crushing in one way or another.
  3. New and Used car sales – I spent about three months selling New and Used cars at Harrisburg Toyota.  If you go into car sales, it can’t just be a passing thing, you have to view it as a career and at 20 I wasn’t thinking about a career. They taught you a ton about sales at that location, but absolutely nothing about the cars, so you knew how to present a car’s “features & benefits” but you just had no idea what they were.
  4. Collection Agent – I followed up the sleazy used car sales position with a job as one of those assholes who calls you at home to bitch that you haven’t paid your phone bill.  I didn’t mind those calls. The ones I hated were the medical bills because either the person didn’t think they were being billed fairly (which was probably true) or they had insane medical bills because of some illness and because of that illness couldn’t work and therefore couldn’t pay said bills.  With those people, i barely attempted to collect the money and never tried to overcome an objection.
  5. Mall Security Guard – If i didn’t hate myself after those last two jobs, then I would totally hate myself after this job.  In my defense I wanted a job where I could sit around and work on homework for the calculus class I was taking at the time.  This worked well for the first three weeks until they changed their mind about how I would keep the Tangers Mall Outlet safe, and I was then told I hate to be on constant patrols the entire night.
  6. Funeral Home Surveyor – Yeah this isn’t glamorous but is still a little better than the last three in terms of hating myself at the end of every work day (not a lot better, just a little better mind you).  I would do a survey that was kind of similar to the surveys they were doing in the movie Boiler Room except instead of qualifying someone to see if they could purchase 10 grand worth of a companies IPO, I was seeing if a person had their funeral plans already lined up.
  7. Telemarketing Rep (Long Distant Sale / Web Hosting Sales / Local Phone Service) / Telemarketing Supervisor / Help desk Coordinator – And once again I’m still performing a job that is considered somewhat loathsome by the large majority of people. But, I was really good at it and got promoted a couple of times and then the company I was with lost 75% of their stock value and they took away all my commission.  I transfer to the help desk which is less loathsome, but still hated by most people who have to deal with it.
  8. Collections Again – just a part time gig for a couple of months. Not sure why I needed the money at that point… probably a heroine addiction I don’t remember.
  9. Telemarketing Trainer / Customer Service Trainer / Correspondence System Specialist
  10. Poker Writer
  11. Web Master
  12. Office Manager
  13. Home Remodeling Surveyor
  14. Help desk again
  15. Pollster
  16. Night Auditor
  17. Collections…. *sigh* again –
The sad thing is that I’m sure I am forgetting a job or two in there somewhere.
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My Favorite Comics

I’m sure most people when reading the title will assume this post is going to be dedicated to The Silver Surfer, X-Men, Thor, Iron Man, Batman, deadpool, and the incredible Hulk, but they would be wrong.  This post is about my favorite newspaper comics.  The funnies.  I’ve become obsessed with the gloomy despair that has settled on Funky Wilkerbean as of late and it is from that obsession that I decided to list my favorites in some semblance of order by favorite to well liked but less awesome.

#1 Calvin and Hobbs – Bill Waterson’s daily comic strip may have been the closest thing anyone has come to making their comic strip into an artform.  He was one of the first two buck the trend of always presenting his sunday edition in the standard sqaure box format, and often would switch the artistic style of the comic within the individual strip itself.  Aside from the purely artistic nature of the comic, the content was also fantastic.  I might not have found it as funny at times as I might find a dilbert or Far Side, but the combination or humor, friendship, parental love, and balls out wild creativity really spoke to the child in me… which make sense since I wasn’t an adult when the strip ran…. and I totally use to do the snowmen house of horrors during the winter.

#2 The Far Side – One of the only ever single panel comics that lasted for any significant period of time. Despite only working with one panel, Larson was able to showcase an amazing depth of creativity as he had no real recurring characters and each strip stood alone. I had a bunch of the Far Side T-Shirts back in the day, and am going to be filled with a red hot rage the first time I see some asshole teenager wearing one ironically.

#3 Dilbert – I did not like this cartoon at all when it first came out.  Then I started working in an office environment and started to realize why it was so great.  I am amazed that any comic strip is able to go on for as long as they do since I would think it would be exhausting trying to come up with new material on a near constant basis.  Not only does Scott Adams still do that, but he has pretty much limited himself to only doing jokes on one subject which is either brilliant or stupid.

#4 Peanuts – The humor in Peanuts is pretty tame and subdued which makes sense when you consider who the creator was and the time period that it represents.  I recently heard they will be making new Peanuts comic strips, which will obviously feature someone other than Charles Shultts.  Can everyone relate to Charlie Brown or is it just me and does everybody kind of relate to whichever character most closely reflects themselves?

#5 Garfield – Growing up fat… and then staying that way I guess, meant that a lot of the humor in Garfield was relateable.  I loved Garfield as a kid but at a certain point I kind of got fed up with his shit and wanted him to try and loose some weight and change his negative out look on life and mondays.

#6 Fox Trot – This is probably the first entry on this list that I don’t have any kind of emotional connection to it… well maybe Dilbert too.  This strip doesn’t remind me of a particular time period in my life, but more is just an entertaining comic that I enjoy.  The Jason character (The youngest son) is my favorite since his overt geekyness is something I can relate to.

#7 Baby Blues – Out of all the strips that are currently running, this is the one I think I genuinely enjoy the most and find the funniest.  Granted I’m sure it would be better if I had kids and could relate more, but I’m around kids and parents often enough to understand the jokes.

There are also several web comics that I really enjoy like “Amazing Superpowers” and “Cyanide and Happiness” .  Both of those are of a nature that you will probably never see them in your local newspaper.

The Wire Season 6 preview

Obviously there isn’t going to be a 6th season of the Wire, but if there was, and for some unknown reason I got to write it, what would be the story?  Obviously you shouldn’t read this if you haven’t seen all 5 seasons of the wire since there will be obvious spoilers.  But if you are interested I’ll make sure to mark stuff with spoilers as SPOILERS before I type.

Every year the Wire focuses on some aspect of the city that has problems.  The first year it was the police force, then the docks, then city hall/politics, then the schools and then the newspaper.  I was thinking this next year could focus on court system.  You know lawyers, judges, jury, other law stuff.  I also thought maybe it would be cool to focus on the medical / hospital side of things, or maybe the unemployment/city services stuff, FBI, or possibly even parks and recreations office.

The kingpin of the Parks and Recreations underground prostitution ring.

The law seems the most logical next step since it was always present throughout the series and at the end of the last season you could count three or four of the major characters are now in the legal field in one respect or another.

Another reason to go with the law is that those characters who are in the legal system (which isn’t including the police obviously) are the ones who would be the easiest to bring back for a season; the characters, not the actors necessarily.  There are many other characters that would be easy to bring back and that you could move around and put in nearly any position within nearly any department or group.  Signor, Dozerman, Carver, Omar’s Ex, Poot, Landsman, Bunk, Slim, etc…

Now some of those characters like, Bunk, Carver, Poot, and landsman are fairly easy to predict where they would be in after a couple of years since the last season and you can’t just put them in an unlikely situation just to make it fit with the story you want to tell.  The story has to fit what the characters would be doing.  You can’t have Bunk working undercover in the projects since that’s not in his nature even if it wouldn’t make story easier to tell.

Or Rawls leaving the force because of pressure from his life partner to start a family

But here is the hard part; how do you bring back the main characters that kind of went off in their own direction at the end of the series.  Specifically I’m talking about …..

Spoilers  …. Freeman and McNultty.  The easy thing to do would be to make them both private detectives who work together and get a case they need help with and turn to Carver and Bunk and anyone else in the force they can count on for help.  But let’s be honest; while the private dic thing would be easy, it would be too obvious and probably not really that realistic.  My guess is that freeman would just do his carvings and live off that and the pension and maybe … teach or something… illlllll yes, and if you watched season 4 you know who he would teach with.  Ok so what about Jimmy, I say things with his new squeeze work for a while but he can’t be away from detective work for too long and after not cutting it at law school, ends up in some other city as a detective.  So my thinking is that just like season 4 jimmy isn’t a huge part of the story, or at least central, but pops in for key stuff.

Spoilers continued …. So why would you need cops in multiple cities.  Vondas and the Greeks.  They are still in the wind, and run their game in multiple cities on the east coast.  This would be a nice chance for the wire guys to look into international crime, or at the very least not something just contained to one city.  Plus you know that most of the wire guys have a little bit of a score to settle with these guys.  Also this would be another excuse to get Fitz back in the game as well.

More Spoilers . . . So how do you get the Greeks back into the mix and more importantly how do we get the wire to look at them again.  Well something has to force the greeks under the eye of the Bmore police.  It could be something doing with Sergey / boris in jail, him getting killed in jail… orrrr I have no idea.  Obviously you could still have Signor working on Slim Charles and the other members of the co-op and follow them to get to the Connect.   So that would open the investigation, but that is assuming that signor or anyone else is still going after Slim. This is tricky. Season 1 the investigation got started cause Jimmy was able to push the judge into going after someone who set up purgery in his court.  Season two valcheck hated the sobatka and jimmy finding the dead girl.  Season 3 started with wire already looking into … somebody who then got pushed off for barksdale again. Season 4 you have them looking into omar and not finding anything till the end which then flows into season 5.  So if you look at the run of the series you have to start the year setting up the reason for the investigation or you just dig right in if the previous year ended with the unit intact or the investigation open.  So based on the end of season 5 and the time that has passed, there would probably be some combination of Signor and Carver working some kind of drug angel possibility but not enough to launch an investigation big enough to drag all the other wire regulars into it. So i have to think on that for a bit.

Annnndddd more spoilers .. ..   Another thing to think about is if you want to continue with any of the storylines for some of the ancelary characters. Granted it’s hard to count anyone on the show as minor but i’m sure you can see where i’m comming from.  Oh I also think Nikki and the other living sobtka could come back in this year since this would be about the greeks.  Nothing major just a scene or two.  Michael a.k.a the new omar could play a role but I don’t want him to be just a new version of omar, and same with kenard not being bubbels.  I wouldn’t mind seeing bubbels getting kenard clean and then michael being a mix of omar and bubbels.   Maybe have kenard get killed and then Michael go to prez for help… or the other way around. who knows.

Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers so how do I get it all to link back to the law, I’m thinking it has something to do with D.C and the greeks connection since he’s an informant.  Plus marlo is still out there and is probably fighting the urge to get back in the game.  I’m thinking at some point he gets back in and maybe he gets mad at Levi cause the investments or whatever don’t go well.

END Spoilers

BOOM how about the economy.  So Levy helps you know who do some investments and they go bad cause the economy sucks and then you know who wants to take revenge cause that’s how he is and he’s from the streets.  So with Levy gone, an investigation opens up and all kinds of his shit comes to light to the investigators.

The only thing I would say about these ideas is that they would work for an audience who has already seen the show but would suck pretty hard for someone new to the show… which is basically the same problem the wire had during its run anyway.  So if a new season was starting it would probably be a good idea to have a bunch of new characters so that the viewers wouldn’t have to already know the back story for such a large percentage of the cast.  And if you want my ideas for new character tough shit, cause I don’t feel like writting any more.

Quick Movie reviews (Thor, Pirates, 2001, Arthur)

Saw a bunch of movies recently, so here is a quick review of all of them.

Thor: I’ve saw this movie twice in the span of a week, although I didn’t enjoy it quite as much as that sentence might imply.  Don’t get me wrong, it was really good, but I rarely see a movie in the theater more than once unless it just blows me away, or I am unemployed and have nothing better to do. I think the way they represented the Norse mythology aspect of the story was done very well.  This could have been a very difficult thing to incorporate since it is a comic book movie and Thor and Hercules are kind of out of place even in the comic book world since they have not just a supernatural element, but also a mythological element, and somewhat of a religious element as well.  The special effects were very good, and the incorporation of the ongoing Avengers storyline didn’t seem to hamper the movie or detract from the movies main narrative.  The after credits almost gave me a nerdgasm, but I won’t talk about it here since you can google it if you really want to see a spoilerific video of it on youtube.  I give this movie 8 out of 10 surprisingly awesome Hawkeye Cameos.

this is the only picture of his cameo currently on the internet

Pirates of the Caribean on Stranger Tides – Lets get this out of the way, I really want to fuck Penelope Cruz.  I don’t think I have much of a chance so I won’t dwell on it, but I do want to mention that I think it is fucking insane when I hear people say that she is ugly in the face or too skinny.  On to the movie, it was good at times but felt forced at other times.  The fight scenes didn’t seem as good as they did in previous movies, and the over the top acrobatics that seemed organic from the first three films felt contrived in this iteration of the franchise.  To me it didn’t feel like some of the scenes were in the movie because they needed to be in the movie to drive the plot, but were in there instead because similar scenes had worked so well in the previous movies.  The inclusion of the mermaid and preacher love connection either needed to be removed or given more of a top billing.  It kind of filled the orlando bloom / keira knightly (soooo hot) void, but felt like an unneeded ancillary love interest aspect of the story.  I really want to talk more about how they could/should have just removed those two characters but this is supposed to be a quick review.  I give this movie 7 out of 10 penelope Cruz surprisingly awesome and somewhat large exposed breasts in Vanilla Sky scenes.

I didn't photoshop my initials onto her nipples, some other site did that evidentially

Arthur – I never saw the original starring Dudley Moore but I know of it, particularly his drunken slur that I’m guessing was a feature of most of the movie.  This remake feature Russel Brand and I think it could have been way better if he wasn’t trying to mimic the drunken slur speech in a large percentage of the movie.  Helen Mirim was awesome obviously, and the chemestry between her and brand was excellent.  This movie had some really good parts but nothing that made it remarkable. I hate only giving it a 6 out of 10 awesome Helen Miram boobs but it isn’t quite good enough for seven.

2001 a Space Odyssey -this is one of those movies where it would shock people if I told them I had never seen it before.  (the same could be said of battle star galactica and a host of other nerd things) This kind of reminds me of when I recently watched TRON (which people also couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen way earlier in my life) and I could understand why at the time, this movie would have been considered so epic, but viewed today doesn’t seem all that impressive.  Also, there are basically two movies here. The better movie is the middle part in which we have something akin to a Sci Fi outer space horrow movie with HAL filling the bad guy role.  That movie can stand on its own in my opinion.  the other movie is all the stuff related to the obelisk  which only really makes sense if you have read the book which I did not.  I did read an explanation of what the book is about and how it plays into the movie, but it really isn’t that interesting.  I hate to do this, but I’m going to have to give this a similar rating as what I gave Author in the entry above this one.  2001 is a better movie, but I enjoyed Author more.  So I give 2001 ASO 6 out of 10 genetically enhancing slabs of Han Sololess black frozen carbonite.

Great cinematography aside from the glaring lack of boobies in the film.

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My favorite websites

This is the kind of post I write when I can’t think of anything interesting to write. – This is probably my favorite website because it is one of the best places to find a combination of humor and intelligence.  The ultra nerdy conversations they have on the After Hours videos is my favorite part.  Best one would probably be the indepth discussion on why Back to the Future has one of the most horrifying movie endings ever. – I have no idea what the name means… although I’m sure it is some kind of sex act if you google it, but the website has very little to do with sex outside of some links to a daily hot piece of tail or two.   Every day the site lists 10 to 20 links to whatever is the hottest thing on the web (once again, not hotness in a boobs are awesome kind of way, just as in popularity viral internet stuff) – I hate celebrity gossip sites, but this one is a little different, mainly because they are usually one of the first sites to have pics of a celeb when they get naked for the internet.  Without this site, how would I have known that jessica Alba’s camera phone self nude shots leaked onto the internet?  WWTDD stands for What Would Tyler Durdin Do and is part of the uproxx network that also has some additional favorite sites of mine: warmingglow , Filmdrunk , gammaSquad , and Withleather.

Snopes – this is the site that was originally started to debunk urban legends but has moved on to debunk anything that is commonly believed to be true and isn’t.  Also sometimes they aslo validate things that are true, so that’s good too. Here’s the list of the most popular articles at this moment: – This site along with Snopes and jumptheshark were the trinity of time waisting internet awesomeness for me back in the day.  I could just sit for hours learning tons of absolutely useless information. Sadly jumptheshark died and is no longer online (it redirects to TV guide last time I checked) , but eeggs is still going strong.  eeggs is a site dedicated to easter eggs in movies, TV, video Games, and books (not literal easter eggs, but instead those hidden special features or references). – Internet version of the satyrical onion newspaper.  If you aren’t that into reading, you can still get a shit ton of laughs out of just reading the hilarious headlines without reading the full, but also hilarious, text of the articles.  Also the video segments are amazing, and the radio news spots are also great. One of my recent favorites was this one which I thought had something to do with Obama being super confident after killing Osama but I was wrong:,20300/ – I use to be really into this site, but my busy life doesn’t afford me enough time to check it on a daily basis.  Collegehumor also introduced me to two of the best online comics: Amazing Superpowers and Cyanide and Happiness. I you have never seen the prank war videos on that site, please check it out now: , , – These are the sites I would hypothetically use if I was ever going to download illegally shared movies, Tv shows, Music, books, and software. (NSFW) – if you want to see hot women get naked on their webcams FOR FREE!!!!!!???!?!?!?!?!?!? then go here.

Yep, was there any doubt I would get a porn site in there?

Odds and Ends

Each weekend I work as a Night Auditor at a hotel in Hershey.  Most nights I finish up my work by 2 or 3 am and have about 2 or three hours to myself before I have to do anything productive again.  Tonight I arrived at 11:00 and was told the systems would be offline between 1am and 5am and I would either need to be finished with my work by 1 or wait to start it till 5.   Waiting till 5 is a bad idea since there is other stuff I have to attend to in the AM, so I shot for the 1 AM completion time.  I ended up getting done with all my work by a quarter of 12, which means lots of down time, and in turn that means random blogging.

I think I’m going to try and bang out three or four entries tonight, not including this one and then set the posting delay so that there is a new one each day this week.  So now I just need to figure out what I want to blog about.

Idea #1 – Follow-up to my Thor predictions from the other day.

Idea #2 – Quick movie reviews of Thor, Author, Pirates IV, 2001 Space Odeyssey, etc..

Idea #3 – List of my Favorite Comics

Idea #4 – Book review of “The Long Goodbye” and what’s up next on my reading list

Idea #5 – Bat shit crazy single themed blog ideas (you know, websites like

Idea #6 – Movie Sequel ideas for movies that shouldn’t have sequels.

Idea #7 – Random barely famous chicks I’ve been obsessed with.

Ok lets be honest, that last idea is totally going to end up being one of the things I write tonight.  I also am thinking of a few more possible topics.

Idea #8 – Predictions for next season of my favorite shows. (justified, SOA, Californication, Dexter, Breaking Bad, Lights out… oh wait)

Idea #9 – what next season of some recently cancelled shows would have included (Flash forward, Lights Out, Terriers, Chicago Code, The Event… wait, was that cancelled yet? I stopped watching a while ago.)

Idea #10 – Comic books I’d like to see made into a movie next (No, not captain confederacy)

Ok, I think that is enough for now, especially considering the fact that I’ll probably get distracted by article number two and not finish more than one additional blog entry tonight.

buuuuuuttt… here are some more:

Idea #11 – List of all the random jobs I’ve had in my life

Idea #12 – My ideas for season 6 of the wire…which sadly will never happen 😦

Idea # 13 – List of my favorite time wasting websites

Yeah I think I can probably bang out those last three pretty quickly…. especially since there are currently drafts of them that I already started.

Predictions for Thor and The Avengers

I heart the 80s

Even though it has been out for two weeks already, I have yet to see Thor.  I’ve already downloaded it, but am waiting till after I see it in the theater before watching my shitty cam copy on my computer. So tomorrow I’m going to peep it out with Ray and we’ve been making predictions as to what is going to be shown during the after credits scene that seems a stable of virtually every Marvel Comic Book movie.  Here is his guess:

“After the credit I’m picturing the camera panning up confederate avenue in Richmond and it fades to black as u see the faint outline of the confederate flag on a chestplate and you hear a distinct rebel yell!”

That’s right, Ray wants the avengers to fight Captain Confederacy in the upcoming Avengers movie. I have other hopes and theories.

yeah its a real thing

First off, I know that it is probably common knowledge by now as to what is show during the end after credits scene, but I have purposefully avoided any internet descriptions of it so that I could enjoy it in the theater.  So these guesses might be terrible in light of already realized information, but it’s still fun to do.

Guess #1:  Thanos is shown in Odin’s throne room grabbing the infinity gauntlet.  This is pretty god damn unlikely, but I would ride the shit out of this because it would mean that the avenger’s movie is going to focus on the infinity gauntlet crisis which I was a huge fan of…. and I still have those comics.

i hate myself

There are so many reasons this won’t happen especially since I think the first Avenger’s movie is probably going to be less of an all ecompassing epic and more focus on just one enemy. Maybe Ultron who was created by hank pym who is a long time avengers member.

Guess #2: They find a frozen Captain America. … or something with Captain America.  Since the Capt America movie is coming out in only a few short months it would probably be dumb to waste the awesome foreshadowing possibilities of the after credits scene on something that is already going to be hyped pretty heavily in the near time.   Plus something with Cap might spoil something that is going to be in his movie, which I don’t know if it takes place in modern time or back in the WWII era.

Guess #3: Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis lesbian scene from black swan.  Look this might be the most unlikely of my guesses it but also might be the most awesome, especially if it is the extended uncensored cut I hope actually exists somewhere.  Look Portman is in Thor so it is kind of related in a way… kind of.

Black Swan = artsy Fan Fiction

Guess #4:  Some bullshit with Hawkeye and or Antman a.k.a Hank Pym.  Maybe Nick “Bad Ass Muther Fucking” Furry is doing something where he introduces Thor to the other members of Shield/Avengers.  Maybe have the hulk about ready to beat the shit out of Hawkeye before iron man breaks it up or I don’t know.

Wrong one

Guess #5:  Iron man and Thor try and decide which one of them is going to approach the Hulk and see if he’ll join the team.  Hulk is supper pissed and destroying things and everyone except thor is unwilling to go talk to him.

My guess is its going to be something brief where Thor is introduced to other avengers or there is some kind of teaser for Capt america.  I would prefer a teaser for the villian/storyline in the upcoming avengers movie, but i’m not sure if they even finished writting that yet.

While I’m the subject, who is going to be the bad guy in the Avenger’s movie.  It has to be something epic and can’t just be some random badguy who faced off against the avengers in the comic books a bunch of times.  Ultron is kind of bad, and so is… uhhhh I really don’t know who the other main bad guys were that use to take on the avengers all the time, but my whole thing is this.  What one person/badguy is so tough that you need Thor AND the Hulk AND anyone else.  Honestly if you have either of those guys fighting one dude, you probably have an easy victory, why do you need Iron Man, Captain America, and Hawkeye at that point…. Really, why do you ever need Hawkeye now that I think of it.  All he is, is a non rich, sometimes angry version of Green Arrow.  And green arrow is just a hippy version of Batman.  wait… a Batman knock off in the Avengers isn’t a bad idea, but I think i’m giving hawkeye too much credit.

His arch nemesis is a butler I guess.

Thanos is sill my vote for the villian in the Avengers movie, although I know it won’t happen.  Maybe he could go after the cosmic cube and the end scene in thor is thanos killing a cancer riddled Captain Marvel  (not the Shazam DC Captain Marvel) and taking the cosmic cube.  Also the comic cube for anyone who doesn’t know is one of the marvel Universes many god like devices where whoever has it has completly control over the universe… but is still some how able to be beaten, mostly by the super hero called hubiris.  Hubiris isn’t a real super hero I was just making a joke… a shitty joke, but fuck you, write your own damn blog.

If I had to put money on it though, my guess is that in the avengers they have one bad guy and he’s kind of a big deal, but still probably easily beaten by the avengers if it was a straight up fight, so the bad guy somehow takes control of the Hulk and makes him turn on the Avengers so in the climatic battle thor has to fight the hulk to keep him from hulk smashing the shit out of the other avengers and while that is going on Iron Man and Capt are fighting the main bad guy and doing ok, but probably going to loose, but then the writers throw Hawkeye and or Ant Man a bone and have them do whatever needs to be done to turn off the hulks mind control. I’m guessing it will involve hawkeye shooting an arrow through something since thats all he can do.  Now the Avengers are all on the same page and they kick the bad guys ass and USA USA USA USA!!!!