Ranking the Newly Single Hot Chicks

I haven’t posted in a while, since I’ve been fairly busy, but after stopping by my blog today, I was ashamed to realize that three out of my last four posts were centered around Smallville.  This is unacceptable.  The corner stone of my blog has been, and will always be, random lists and hot women.  So let’s combine them by going through my list of the hottest women who recently became single.

Before you ask, no, I will not spell check any of the names on this list.  I just don’t care.

5, Reene Zellwiger

Ok, she’s only on this list cause I wanted at least five people, and shes the only other one i could think of.

4, Jessica Beil

A few years ago Jessica Beil would have probably have been number one.  For some reason the more I see of her, the more I notice that her face is slightly weird looking.  I have a feeling that 50 years from now when i’m talking to my grandchildren about which celebs I thought were the hottest, my grandkids will probably look at pictures of Jessica Beil and act unimpressed.  This may be because it’s only her body that is insanely hot and her face is just above average in looks, or maybe it will be because my grandkids will be so preoccupied fighting alien nano tech swarms, that they just can’t get emotionally invested in a hot or not conversation.

 

3. Amanda Seyfried

Like Jessica Beil, Amanda Seyfried has a hot body and kind of an odd face.  None of this maters if you ever watched the movie Chloe in which Amanda Seyfried has hot naked sexy lesbian sweaty sex with Julian Moore.  It was awesome.  sooooo very awesome.  Also, i’m not positive she’s single, but I think she was with Ryan Philipie who just knocked up some random broad.

2, Olivia Wilde

Olivia Wilde would have been number one, but the fact that she married a prince when she was 18 makes me think that she may have unrealistic expectations when it comes to what she wants from a new boyfriend.

1, Mila Kunis

Let’s just get this out of the way. Her previous long term boyfriend was Mcalley Kalken, the home alone kid.  Presumably they started dating cause they met in a support group for young Hollywood people who have weird names.  Maybe the guy is crazy awesome and shits diamonds, but i’m sure she’s gotten shit from people for dating him. Anyways, I always thought she was hot, but she then just knocked it out of the park in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  Also, she has two different colored eyes.  I don’t know why, but I find that hot.  I imagine that when you stare into her eyes as you lie in bed after an incredible night of love making, you would be able to stare for much longer than you could with the average woman since if you got bored at looking at one eye color you could then just look at the other eye for some variety.

 

Runner up metals should go to Scarlet Johanson and Ashley Greene who broke up with Ryan Renolds and One of the Jonas brothers (Scarlet with Renolds and Ashley with a Jonas, they weren’t in some kind of weird open love Utah thing).  They would be on the list, but I think that they both have already moved on.  If I was going to list them on the list, I’d probably put them between Olivia Wilde and Amanda Seyfried with Greene taking a slight edge of Scarlet since she seems slightly younger and more slutty… no reverse that, she was in Twilight so I’m going to give the nod to Johanson since her awesome rack was in Iron Man II.

Oh, Eva Longoria also should be on the list but… I just forgot to add her. She should be number three behind Olivia Wilde.

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