More quick movie reviews

I am way behind on writing up reviews for some of the movies I’ve seen in the last couple months.  Instead of going into any real depth with any of these movies, I will just try and keep it very very short, and maybe only add in one or two sentences of explanation.

RED

This was surprisingly good, although with the amazing cast that they had it could have been a crazy awesome drama.  The action was over the top in a good way and didn’t go too crazy in how much disbelief you had to suspend.  I give it 7 out of 10 Helen Mirans with a sniper rifle.

Serenity

This is the movie that was made to kind of wrap up the FireFly TV series since it got cancelled before they could finish their first season.  I was actually kind of shocked by how good this movie was in terms of picking up where the show would have left off, completing story lines, using big stakes, and providing an open ended closure for the fans.  If you never saw the TV show, then this movie won’t be that great i’m sure. Even though I did see this TV show and only just kind of liked it, I was impressed with how they kicked it up a notch from the carefree style of the original show.  I give Serenity 7 out of 10  Captain Reynolds is a TV Han Solo…s.

The Last Airbender

It’s a Kid/preteen movie and the cgi and fight scenes are ok, but nothing mind blowing.  The plot is …meh.  Any adult who liked the …comic book? cartoon?  I have no idea which of those or both of those inspired the movie, but I know that there were fans who were disappointed, but I knew nothing of the back story, so i didn’t care.  I give this 5 out of 10 poor man’s luck dragons.

Stone

I was weirdly pleased and disappointed with this movie at the same time.  I think this could have been an amazing movie if it was a little more focused.  It seemed almost direction-less at times, which may have been my fault since I was totally distracted by the insanely long nipples on Mila Jovalich.  Movie’s don’t have to have clear cut endings or messages, but i think this movie might have been helped by having one or both of those.

Saw VII

Um, it’s tough to keep up with all the characters from the long history of the Saw franchise, but they did a good enough job summing most of it up.  I like that this is the final movie and it features the main guy from the first movie heavily in this movie (The Dread Pirate Roberts).  I still kind of think that the conversion to Saw’s extended army of former victims that many of the later movies is way too forced, but who cares.  My one big complaint is that the very first Jigsaw trap is held behind a plexiglass box in the middle of a crowded plaza, and the most effort anyone makes to break the glass and free the people in side, is one guy half heartedly throws his briefcase at the plexi-glass cube of emotion.  In the saw universe as soon as they see the set up and hear that voice, and see the video playing, one out of the hundred or so bystandard should have been running to grab a heavy object of some sort to break that glass. Instead everyone stood around and whipped out their camera phones. i give this 6 out of 10 Awesomely boobtastic Jigsaw Ex wives.

The Kings Speech

Really, really good movie. I don’t think I could have been any more impressed with Colin Firth’s performance since he was completely believable throughout all stages of the movie. I give this 9 out of 10 EloGovnas

The Green Hornet

This movie started awfully for me, and basically all of my complaints about the previews for this movie were confirmed fairly early on in the movie.  Once the movie got going and the action got started I started to care less and less about the awful stuff and really started to like the really good parts, like the action, the kick ass car (The black beauty), and … well that’s it.  Still I give it 6 out of 10 Giant car door mounted machine guns.

The Fighter

Very good movie, that actually had one kind of minor twist in it. Not a M night shamalan twist, just one of those depressing moments of realization where a character’s perception is placed up against a reality that views things differently.  i don’t want to ruin it for anyone, but it was kind of a sad depressing moment.  I hear people talking about Christian Bale getting the supporting Actor award in a couple of different ceremonies, but honestly his character is the main character of the film. I give this 9 our of 10 painful looking kidney punches.

The Tourist

This movie was ok, even though a major plot line was ruined for me by someone who had already seen the movie.  This meant there was no excitement to the twists and intrigue, but who cares, Angelina Jolie is crazy hot.  That whore kept her clothes on through the entire movie.  She’s such a terrible human being for doing that in the majority of her movies. Bull shit.  I give this movie 8 out of 10 Angelina walking away half naked action movie scenes.

All Star Superman

I saw this online, downloaded it, and almost forgot that I ever watched it.  It’s just a one off animated movie, where basically they take the idea of what would Superman do if he was about to die, let the writer(s) treat it like fan fiction, reign it in only slightly, and then actually let superman die at the end.  Seriously, he dies in this animated movie, and not like he does in the doomsday storyline where he dies but really doesn’t and then comes back to life.  I guess this story is supposed to be more like the old school superman where he was almost god like in his power (move planets for example) and the writers would come up with new powers almost at random.  I wasn’t expecting much from this but I was still disappointed. Here’s the thing, DC has been pumping out these animated movies that you can tell they aren’t putting a lot of real effort or thought into, since they know that they have a core audience that will buy it no mater what.  They don’t try to make it good enough so that non comic book fans will watch it.  I’m not sure if this is a way of giving your core audience what they want, or if it is just a way of exploiting your core audience. I give it 4 out of 10 viles of serum that give lois lane superman’s powers for 24 hours.

Mega Mind

Very good kids movie that had just enough edge to it for an adult to like, especially if it is an immature adult like me.  One of the best parts of the movie was the incorporation of music in some of the fight scenes, the over top nature of some of the super villiany stuff, as well as the way the movie pokes fun at some of the super hero cliche’s but not in a painfully obvious way like some movies would. I give it 8 out of 10 ACDC fight songs.

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