Smallville Live Blog

This week’s episode of Smallville is supposed to be a rip off of the Hangover…. ok well i’m sure the writers and producers of the show don’t want it to be a rip off of the Hangover, but based on virtually every other episode of Smallville I’ve ever seen, they aren’t talented enough to pull off a storyline where chloe accidentally marries clark while drunk during a bachelor party and not make it seem like a cheap rip off..   Soooooooo here we go.
dual bachelor parties are lame.
They just did the self facing close up shot that ed helms did in the hangover.  instead of a tiger they have a Limur. nice touch.  How exactly do you get superman drunk.  They sure as hell better explain that one.
Also, do any of them have friends who aren’t directly involved with crime fighting?
Zatana, nice touch. I’ll give Smallville credit for at least comming up with a plausible reason for why Clark could actually get drunk. Zatana is this really hot magician/witch.  She put a spell on a bottle of champeign.
So something happened last night and already it’s on T shirts?  Wait, Tess and Emile… whoever he is, are either still drunk or still affected by magic ?
Nice boob shot of lois.
So some chick unseen is shown putting on her shoes and leaving…. just like the hangover.

god I hate the dialog on this show. “my phone is gonzo” why couldn’t Lois just say her phone is gone.  Seriously, I would be ok if one character used random puns, but not when all of them do it. Well except Clark, he’sjust a constant wet blanket.


Wow they really do only have like 4 sets for this show.  Also, why can Tess access the alarm on the armored car, yet the actual company that owns it can’t do that or track it in any way?

Oh my god. So the bad guys think that one of our protagonist have their money and have kidnapped one of the protagonist to get it back.  AAAAANNNNNNDDDDD the exotic animal was also stolen from a dangerous guy.  Of course in this show the owner of the exotic animal and the stolen money is the same person and not two seperate people, therefore it is totally different than the hangover.  So the only difference is that Smallville combined Mike Tyson and Senior Chang into one person.

Wait, she was playing black jack, and she thinks there would be a sure thing.  There’s not even sure things for card counters in black jack.

Seriously the best part of Smallville is Lois constantly playing dress up.  And Green arrow in drag is pretty funny too.

Once again, chloe knows Kung Fu despite the fact that she’s not in the smallville matrix anymore. And there is an epic fight scene in which green arrow is kicking tons of ass and clark is, somewhere nearby, but not actually doing anything to help.  Holy shit, did Lois just shot a gun at some bad guys… with amazing no lethal accuracy.  Seriously where is Clark?

Once again, the Kent family farm is directly lit by a sun made of pure gold.

More speeches.  COOL Chloe just mentioned batman and wonder woman indirectly.  It was kind of awesome in a nerdtastic kind of way.  Smallville was directed by DC to never reference Batman or Wonder woman during the run of their show, so having Chloe say that she met other heroes just as amazing as clark, one a billionaire with tons of gadgets, and a wonderful woman who will throw clark for a loop.  Get it, cause she has a lasso.

Oh, and the episode is going to end with them starting to watch a video of what happened the previous night…. just like the hangover, but since smallville is so original, they are going to look at a cam coreder instead of a digital camera.

Oh god, The green Arrow jus called it the “Ivory Watch tower”  it’s the middle of a scene where Chloe is supposed to run away again, and he informers her that they are the ones that got married last night, and he throws in a smallville pun.  He’s better than that.

And next episode has the lex luthor clone turning into super boy, which I guess is something that actually happened in the comics.


Smallville Live Blog

It’s another friday night, which means another Smallville Live Blog.  If I had to explain why I keep watching the final season of this terrible, terrible show, I’d say that it is entertaining in the same manner that Mystery Science Theatre 3000 was entertaining.  The only difference is that with MST3K the mocking of the show was a passive part of the show, where as with Smallville I don’t have instant commentary on the show’s horribleness, which necessitates my need to blog about it, and read the reviews of each episode.

So before the episode actually starts, let me review the major plot lines that I think are supposed to be important in this episode.

– Darkseid is supposed to be comming to earth as some sort of harbenger of death
– There is some radio personality guy who hates heros
– Grannie goodness is making an army of hot female kryptonite sexy ninjas
– Clark’s cousin super girl is a way better super hero than he is

Here’s the thing about smallville that I’ve learned from watching this season… the “bad guys” are probably right.  Seriously, if you never knew anything about Superman, including the fact that he is a good guy, the longer the show goes on, the more you realize a lot of the problems in the world of the smallville show are reaally a direct result of Clark and the other bad guys and that the supposed villians on the show are probably actually doing what is best for the whole of humanity.

Anyways, it’s about to start. WHOOOOOOO!!!!!! Smallvile !!!!! SOOOOOO TEEERRRRIIIIBBBLLLLLEEEE!!!!!

Ok, so it looks like this episode is going to be about clark comming up with a new super hero identity, and officially move away from the blur and to the super man suit and cape.  I really hope they don’t try to fool people into thinking they are two seperate people.  Even in small ville , the world’s population wouldn’t be that stupid to not connect the two.

Ugh Chloe and the green arrow trying to be playfully romanitc and flirtatious is just painfull. It’s like they watch a James Bond movie where bond and the hot female agent meet up in a night club and flirt with each other while pretending they don’t know each other and the entire conversation is just full of tounge and cheek dialouge where the characters are furthering their plotlines with eachother without letting anyone ease dropping know that they know each other.  Smallville didn’t pull this off.

WOW, they just totally ripped off a move from the movie Date night, and they even made the maitredee woman look kind of like olivia munn who was the maitredee in Date Night.  Oh, look Chloe in Green arrow are now in the middle of some sort of danger because they took someone elses reservation, just like in the movie Date Night.

Christ, enough with the Lost Trumpet fade out.

WOW WOW WOW, the lost trumpet thing is just painfull now.

Why are the police treating clark clent the reporter like he is like a top FBI official. It’s a god damn crime scene, you don’t just let reporters walk around while the Lab guys are still collecting evidence.

Well I’m sure that coroner isn’t a bad guy.

Yeah, Smallville is going out of their way to make the Green Arrow and Chloe plotline as similar to Date Night as possible.  Hey look the once happy couple are now fighting with each other over trivial issues which have been exasberated by being kidnapped in a unfortunate case of, wrong place, wrong time.

Since when can Chloe fight, the writers know she’s not in the Matrix any more right.

Wait so the FBI don’t recognize Oliver Queen / the green arrow, eventhough he went on TV revealed his secret identity, and was the biggest news story for several months. Yep. it looks like terrible writting strikes again.

So Green arrow just left, less than two seconds ago, and yet he is far enough away that he doesn’t hear the FBI agent yell at Chloe and then Desad kill the FBI agent with the black Oil alien stuff from the X-files.  Oh and yeah, I was right, the coroner is a bad guy.

Boom, third Lost Trumpet fade out of the episode.  Soooooo Chloe and Green Arrow are seperated and in seperate danger… yeah that totally didn’t happen in Date Night.
I’ll be honest, seeing Alison Mack died up and wet is the best part of the episode so far.  Ok, if i’m being really really honest, Alison Mack sweaty or naked in a skimpy outfit is pretty awesome.

OMG, and now we have Seven. Kind of. Not Really, but I don’t understand why an evil Alien uses our 7 deadly sincs as part of his torture/brainwashing.  Wait is this guy an Alien? Whot the fuck knows with this show.

Jesus, now we have White suit Matrix Chloe. Let me guess. Pride.

Yep, it was Pride.

So they only did 5 of the 7 deadly sins, I guess they couldn’t come up with scenarios for the last two. No Pie eating contest for Chloe.

Ok, we just heard a very toned down Lost Trumpet fade out. I’m ok with that one.

How exactly did Clark just defeat Desaad?  Desaad used some kind of black thunder gravity thing to pin Clark against the wall and then it just wears off as Desaad leaves and then green arrow finds Desaad and starts punching him since Desaad is trying to get Green Arrow to go all Wrath head in a box on Desaad. Then Clark stops Green Arrow and Desaad just doesn’t put up any kind of fight since ???? Profit??

So Lois and Clark when they talk to each other must think that the other person either has the worse memory in history or are painfully aware that there is an audience watching who have never watched the show before.

They just had a conversation last five minutes that in the real world would have been completed in three setences.

Lois: Clark, you have to wear a mask if you are going to be the blur and marry me and be clark clent.

Clark: No Lois, what if Clark was the mask and The Blur was the real me? I’ll just wear these glasses and act clumsy like someone who is the exact opposite of the blur.


Uggggghhhhhhhhh and one last Lost Trumpet sound effect.

Holy shit. They just showed the previews for next week and they are ripping off the hangover…. which yes is kind of a rip off of Dude where’s my car.

More quick movie reviews

I am way behind on writing up reviews for some of the movies I’ve seen in the last couple months.  Instead of going into any real depth with any of these movies, I will just try and keep it very very short, and maybe only add in one or two sentences of explanation.


This was surprisingly good, although with the amazing cast that they had it could have been a crazy awesome drama.  The action was over the top in a good way and didn’t go too crazy in how much disbelief you had to suspend.  I give it 7 out of 10 Helen Mirans with a sniper rifle.


This is the movie that was made to kind of wrap up the FireFly TV series since it got cancelled before they could finish their first season.  I was actually kind of shocked by how good this movie was in terms of picking up where the show would have left off, completing story lines, using big stakes, and providing an open ended closure for the fans.  If you never saw the TV show, then this movie won’t be that great i’m sure. Even though I did see this TV show and only just kind of liked it, I was impressed with how they kicked it up a notch from the carefree style of the original show.  I give Serenity 7 out of 10  Captain Reynolds is a TV Han Solo…s.

The Last Airbender

It’s a Kid/preteen movie and the cgi and fight scenes are ok, but nothing mind blowing.  The plot is …meh.  Any adult who liked the …comic book? cartoon?  I have no idea which of those or both of those inspired the movie, but I know that there were fans who were disappointed, but I knew nothing of the back story, so i didn’t care.  I give this 5 out of 10 poor man’s luck dragons.


I was weirdly pleased and disappointed with this movie at the same time.  I think this could have been an amazing movie if it was a little more focused.  It seemed almost direction-less at times, which may have been my fault since I was totally distracted by the insanely long nipples on Mila Jovalich.  Movie’s don’t have to have clear cut endings or messages, but i think this movie might have been helped by having one or both of those.


Um, it’s tough to keep up with all the characters from the long history of the Saw franchise, but they did a good enough job summing most of it up.  I like that this is the final movie and it features the main guy from the first movie heavily in this movie (The Dread Pirate Roberts).  I still kind of think that the conversion to Saw’s extended army of former victims that many of the later movies is way too forced, but who cares.  My one big complaint is that the very first Jigsaw trap is held behind a plexiglass box in the middle of a crowded plaza, and the most effort anyone makes to break the glass and free the people in side, is one guy half heartedly throws his briefcase at the plexi-glass cube of emotion.  In the saw universe as soon as they see the set up and hear that voice, and see the video playing, one out of the hundred or so bystandard should have been running to grab a heavy object of some sort to break that glass. Instead everyone stood around and whipped out their camera phones. i give this 6 out of 10 Awesomely boobtastic Jigsaw Ex wives.

The Kings Speech

Really, really good movie. I don’t think I could have been any more impressed with Colin Firth’s performance since he was completely believable throughout all stages of the movie. I give this 9 out of 10 EloGovnas

The Green Hornet

This movie started awfully for me, and basically all of my complaints about the previews for this movie were confirmed fairly early on in the movie.  Once the movie got going and the action got started I started to care less and less about the awful stuff and really started to like the really good parts, like the action, the kick ass car (The black beauty), and … well that’s it.  Still I give it 6 out of 10 Giant car door mounted machine guns.

The Fighter

Very good movie, that actually had one kind of minor twist in it. Not a M night shamalan twist, just one of those depressing moments of realization where a character’s perception is placed up against a reality that views things differently.  i don’t want to ruin it for anyone, but it was kind of a sad depressing moment.  I hear people talking about Christian Bale getting the supporting Actor award in a couple of different ceremonies, but honestly his character is the main character of the film. I give this 9 our of 10 painful looking kidney punches.

The Tourist

This movie was ok, even though a major plot line was ruined for me by someone who had already seen the movie.  This meant there was no excitement to the twists and intrigue, but who cares, Angelina Jolie is crazy hot.  That whore kept her clothes on through the entire movie.  She’s such a terrible human being for doing that in the majority of her movies. Bull shit.  I give this movie 8 out of 10 Angelina walking away half naked action movie scenes.

All Star Superman

I saw this online, downloaded it, and almost forgot that I ever watched it.  It’s just a one off animated movie, where basically they take the idea of what would Superman do if he was about to die, let the writer(s) treat it like fan fiction, reign it in only slightly, and then actually let superman die at the end.  Seriously, he dies in this animated movie, and not like he does in the doomsday storyline where he dies but really doesn’t and then comes back to life.  I guess this story is supposed to be more like the old school superman where he was almost god like in his power (move planets for example) and the writers would come up with new powers almost at random.  I wasn’t expecting much from this but I was still disappointed. Here’s the thing, DC has been pumping out these animated movies that you can tell they aren’t putting a lot of real effort or thought into, since they know that they have a core audience that will buy it no mater what.  They don’t try to make it good enough so that non comic book fans will watch it.  I’m not sure if this is a way of giving your core audience what they want, or if it is just a way of exploiting your core audience. I give it 4 out of 10 viles of serum that give lois lane superman’s powers for 24 hours.

Mega Mind

Very good kids movie that had just enough edge to it for an adult to like, especially if it is an immature adult like me.  One of the best parts of the movie was the incorporation of music in some of the fight scenes, the over top nature of some of the super villiany stuff, as well as the way the movie pokes fun at some of the super hero cliche’s but not in a painfully obvious way like some movies would. I give it 8 out of 10 ACDC fight songs.

Smallville Live Blog

As I’ve mentioned before, I started watching Smallville this season for the sole reason that I was shocked that it made it 10 years and thought it would be fun to catch the final season without learning much, if anything about the previous seasons.  So tonight is a new episode and since i have no life, I decided to live blog my initial thoughts as I watch the episode.  I have no idea what this episode is supposed to be about, but it should be noted that last weeks episode was one of the worse pieces of television ever produce.  Hopefully this one is better, but who the fuck knows.

Ok the episode opens up with the return of Lionel Luthor, who was killed in this universe but another version from another universe came to this universe two episodes ago. I know you might be confused by this so let me answer the question you are probably asking, Lionel Luthor is Lex Luthor’s father.

I just hear the Lost trumpet sound affect.  If you ever watched the show lost you know exactly what I’m talking about.  It is very distinctive and the opposite of subtle.   It doesn’t surprise me that Smallville has ripped off something like a musical transitional element since last weeks episode was basically The Matrix but with Neo’s name chanced to Clark Kent.

I don’t know the full story, but the guy who played Lex Luthor left the show several years back, probably because he was just tired of being way better than the show he was on.  This is the final season and they have some kind of plot line where Lex had made a bunch of clones of himself in case he needed some spare organs, and now one of the clones is rapidly growing to adulthood and somehow has all of Lex’s memories.  Basically they need Lex Luthor but the guy who originally played him couldn’t lower himself back down to Smallville’s level.  In the Smallville universe Lex Luthor already knows that Clark is Superman (which they call “The Blur”) even though Clark hasn’t even become Superman yet. Sooooooooooo maybe they are going to do something where the clone doesn’t really know Clark is superman, or looses some of his memories, so that the series will end at what most people know as the starting point of the Superman story; i.e Clark is secretly Superman and Lex hate’s Superman and wants to find his identity.

Chloe seems way less annoying after getting fucked.  I think the Green Arrow totally fucked all of her cheesy word play and puns right out of her.

Once again, the kent farm is way too golden.

Clarks thriller jacket is way too tacky.  They won’t actually put Clark in the Superman outfit since he’s not supposed to become Superman till the final episode. Instead, Smallville has his dress in a red leather jacket that looks like Michael Jackson’s thriller Jacket but with a sumerman logo stitched into the center.

It’s amazing how large a percentage of the dialog of each episode is comprised of speeches.  I’m not saying that the dialog should be vapid like the hills, but not every line of dialog is supposed to be written in an attempt to blow the viewer away with cinematic excellence.

Did anyone doubt that clark’s mom was going to get shot at.  Wait wait wait.  Here’s another example of the writers not being consistent in Clark’s abilities.  Here’s what happened.

Lois and Clark just happen to turn on the TV in time to catch a Pro Superhero/Vigalante rally where the guest speaker is Clark’s mom who was elected Senator of Kansas after Senator Pa Kent died (Yep, on the Smallville show Ma and Pa Kent became Senators).  It’s never discussed why Clark is oblivious to the fact that his mom is going to be on TV making a speech, but whatever.  So Clark and Lois are watching this on a TV on the clark family farm when all of a sudden shots ring out on the TV screen and you can see Clarks mom hit the ground as panic ensues.

Clark looks terrified for a moment and then speeds out of the house in a blur (see that where he gets his current hero name from).  Next he arrives at the Metropolis Hospital where a secret service person tells him, his mom is fine and in the hospital room behind him.  She was wearing a vest so the only damage was a cracked rib, and a flesh wound to the left arm where a bullet had grazed her.

Here’s the problem.  In a previous episode it has been shown just how god damn fast clark is.  In fact, it’s been shown just about every week.  In one episode he is standing in a Smallville cornfield, and one of the Lex Luthor clones sets of explosives at the Daily Bugel which sends that giant globe thing on top of the building crashing down towards the street.  Clark is so fast that in the time a giant ass globe can fall from the top of a sky scraper, he manages to put out a fire that is threatening Lois, run all the way from Smallville to downtown Metropolis, Jump up and catch the globe before it hits the street below, and place it back on top of the building.

Now in this episode, Clark is watching live TV and sees his mom gets shot, yet doesn’t get to Metropolis until his mom has already been evacuated from the rally, taken to the hospital, checked out by a doctor, had x-rays of her arm and ribs taken, had her harm either stitched or bandaged, had her arm put in a sling and checked out.

Either superman was running at least than top speed cause he really wasn’t that concerned about the possible assassination of his mom or everyone else in metropolis just happened to be running at super sonic speeds that day.

And why is the metropolis hospital also golden.  Seriously, just because a scene takes place during the day, it doesn’t mean that the son is actually sitting directly outside the window of whatever room clark is standing in.

My god the Metropolis police must be terrible.  Exactly how long did they look for clues before giving up.  Not only did they not tape off any area of the crime scene, but they never bothered to try and find out where the shots were fired from.  I honestly think the cops of Metropolis are just so used to the Green Arrow and The Blur solving crimes that they just go through the motions in case someone is looking and purposefully over look clues just to prevent themselves from having to do extra work that they know a superhero is going to do anyway.

Jesus would it kill them to write a line of dialog that wasn’t supposed to be… awe inspiring?  Or at least don’t fail so miserably when trying to write said awe inspiring dialog.   It’s like watching a youtube video where someone put all the greatest lines from a tv show together into a 10 minute span.  Then someone took that video and said to the writers of Smallville “Hey, write a show that has nothing but awesome quotes like this youtube clip”.

Holy shit they did the trumpet sound again.

HAHA nice rip on fox news.

Wait, lex shot at martha kent with a revolver? how far away was he when he shot at her? They showed the crows nest he shot from… that the cops just didn’t even try to find i’m guessing, and …. he’s Lex Luthor, would he really not have had the ability or knowledge to realize a rifle would work better and then go get one.

So chloe is a super hacker, why are her and lois going to print out pamphlets… ok never mind, lois does want chloe to do some super hacking…. on every news website in the world.  Yep.  Look, I hate how TV shows and Movies make hacking seem so easy that someone can just type fast and instantly get access to any goverment database from virtually any PC or Laptop in the world. It doesn’t work that way.  Second, Lois is pissed that no news organization will print her Pro Vigalanty article and tries to wrap herself in some kind of freedom of speech / freedom of press crusade.  Yet her solution to the problem isn’t to Start her on site, or maybe email the article to people, or post it on a social networking site. No instead she has chloe take over every news website on the net and replace their content with hers… which is totally not a violation of anyones civil liberties since, you know, she’s lois lane, and she banged Superman a couple episodes back.

A threat from Martha Kent is one of the least intimidating things ever.

So… he didn’t set the place on fire?  Why did he poor alcohol every where then? Ok I’m confused with another series of events.  Martha Kent confronts Lex and Lionel Luthor at their mansion.  (Lex is the clone lex, since the other one supposedly died several seasons ago).  So Martha yells at Lionel for being evil and from another universe, and then Lex out of know here just cold cocks her.  Then Lex talks smack to his dad and starts throwing liquor bottles every where making the room soaked in flamable liquid, which is dangerous since there is a roaring fire in the fire place. then Lex knocks his dad out (Although one is a clone, and the other is from another universe so they technically aren’t father and son if you really think about it).  Next Lex slowly pours a long path of brandy right up to the roaring fire and just stands there without setting any of the brandy or other alcohol on fire.  He looks at the knocked out Ma Kent and tells her that he is going to spare her since watching her son die would be much more painful.  Then he throws the rest of the liquor bottle into the fire place while doing the most overly dramatic slow motion scream in terrible TV history.  The scene ends and you are left to assume???? that he didn’t light the place on fire. That the liquor from that bottle smashing into the fire place probably only made the fire burn larger/brighter for a few seconds and didn’t get sooooo large as to set fire to the gin soaked room.  Afterall, Lex was standing right in front of the fire and was surrounded by all the alcohol he’s spilled, so if throwing that bottle into the fire had set the place on fire, that would almost surely include him.

Have there been any entrances by a character where he or she didn’t suddenly appear standing behind  another character?

Jesus, more speeches.

Boom, the third lost trumpet.

Ok so he did set the place on fire. What exactly did Alexander mean then when he said he was sparing Martha?  Oh, and do the writers of Smallville know that things like smoke inhalation exist?  Seriously, you can totally die from being in a burning building even if no actual flames touch you.

Ughhhhhhhhhh even the people doing the web shot outs to Clark, are trying way too hard to be earnest.  This scene is going on WAY too long.  And how much is the average person supposed to know about the Blur?

Ok, now the combination of overly inspiring musice with overly dramatic speeches is making me nausous.  Seriously all that happen just now, is Chloe showed clark a website. That’s all that happened, yet they used the same music in this scene you normaly only hear after a small town football team over cam racial disharmony, came together as a team, and triumphed over a much larger team in the state championship game.

Oh, and why would something like a national law be put up for a public vote.  That never has happened. Yes there are things put on local ballaots like gay marriage, but a law enforcment initative isn’t something that could be put up for a vote since it’s a legal issue.

More speeches.

And now dramatic music as they opened a window.  He literally pressed a button that opened a window which let the sunlight in.  That’s it.  The window is on the top floor of a sky scraper which means almost no one can see inside it, soooooo why the dramatic music?

Ok, the ending was kind of cool with the needle breaking on Lex’s arm.  Ok, maybe Lex set the building on fire knowing clark would rescue his mother, and would also allow himself to get close to clark so he could steal or copy his powers somehow.  That actually would be kind of Lex Luthor-ish.

Played some poker today

I got a check in the mail a couple days ago from one of the affiliate accounts I had set up several years ago for god knows what website.  Usually these companies have some minimum amount that you have to hit before they will cut you a commission check.  If you have basically stop working on your sites for several years like I have done, this can mean that it could take two or three years before you get the 20 or 30 signups necessary to reach the $50 in commission needed for a check to be cut. So probably two or three times a year I will get a check from some random company I don’t remember and I’ll just deposit it and not think of it again.

Now that i’m crazy poor however, these checks give me a rare opportunity to splurge without feeling guilty.  Since I hadn’t played poker at a casino in over 6 months or so, I decided to take my $55.72 to Hollywood casino and play some 3-6 limit holdem, and play until I was bored, or had lost fifty or so dollars.   I called the casino first to find out when they usually started seating their limit games, and I was told noon would be a good time.  I got there at about a quarter to noon, and registered for 3-6 limit hold’em and saw that my name was the second on the list.  Sooooooo that meant i’d have to wait for at least 8 more people to sign up.

I thought about signing up for the nl-holdem tournament that was starting at noon, but that cost 85 dollars, which was more than I had budgeted for, and I had class tonight so if I went all the way I might be late for class, plus I’ve never been that good at Casino hosted tournaments; my style of play is really more geared towards cash games.  So I sat down with a copy of Ben Mezrich’s Accidental Billionaires and started to read while I waited for my name to be called.  About an hour later and several chapters in, I looked up and saw that there were only three names on the list for 3-6.  I gave in and decided to play some 1-2 no limit which had immediate seating.

I figured I would just play conservatively and only get involved in a pot if I was a pretty clear cut favorite, which is basically how I play in cash games any ways.  I’d try to limit myself to only loosing fifty bucks if i could, but I bought in for $150 since I’m still going to go all in Pre Flop with AA if there are multiple raisers in front of me, and let luck determine if I walk back to my car in jubilation or in anger like in those kind of silly/stupid “Dont gamble in PA” commercials I keep seeing on TV now.

I sat there for about 20 minutes without playing any hands and lost 6 dollars in blinds when I ended back up on the big blind.  Everyone called the 2 dollar blind and when I checked my hole cards I found 10 10.  Now my plan had been to only get involved if I had a really strong hand or at least a really strong draw that didn’t cost too much and would allow me to work in that fifty dollar window I had set for myself.  With this hand, my fifty dollar limitation didn’t come in to play.  With 8 callers, chances are I would have had to raise to about 25 or 30 to narrow the field down to 1 or two opponents.  The table so far had been fairly loose and no one was hesitating to call raises to 15 preflop regardless of their position or starting hand strength.  So If I wanted to win the 20 in the pot I’d either have to bet something like 40 which would have been unlikely to be called by anyone, or bet 25 and put my 10 10 up against one or two opponents and then continuation bet regardless of what the flop brought.  The continuation bet in that instance would need to be 40 bucks at least to force anyone out.

Honestly, even if had three grand burning a hole in my pocket I almost certainly would have just checked my option to see if I hit a big hand with a big pay out.  The last thing I wanted to do was bet the standard 15 dollar raise and have a minimum of five callers, since people at low limit no limit are apt to call with high cards like AJ KJ, A10, etc… and those hands can all crush my 10 10 if a High card hits the flop.

So I check.  The flop comes down A 7 8, with the 7 and 8 suited spades. The small blind checks, and I check as well since with that many players in, someone has to have hit at least a small part of the hand, and more than likely, someone has an A x in their hand. Surprisingly, the remaining 7 players all check, and the turn brings a 10 of diamonds giving me a set.  This is good for obvious reasons, but I’m a little surprised when the small blind immediately bets 8.  This is so odd.  Yeah, the 10 could have given him a straight if he had 9 j or 6 j, and since he only needed to call one dollar to see the flop, either of those hands are possible.  Still I just got the idea that the 10 hadn’t helped him and that he was going to bet after the turn regardless.  If i’m remembering correctly I think he had reached for his chips before the turn was actually dealt.

So it is 8 dollars to me and there is 26 bucks in the pot, so obvious I’m going to be in the hand, but do I raise?  I think about it, since it is going to give me a better idea of what he has, but I have a feeling that if I re-raise him, I’m either going to force him out if he has a weaker hand, or he’s going to come back over top of me if he has a stronger hand, and as I said before, I think the 10 didn’t help him.  I decided to just smooth call, for the reasons above, but also because I had 6 more people to act and if they are on a straight or flush draw, they are going to end up calling more than likely any normal raise I make here outside of a large 50 buck raise.  I would need them to miss the straight and flush draws regardless of my bet, and right now i’m thinking more about building a large pot without investing a lot of my money and hoping for the best.  Three more people call and then the button raises to 36.

WTF.  This isn’t good.  My first thought is that he has to have J 9.  His raise is probably meant to force out anyone with a draw, which I don’t think it will do unless he had put a larger bet in.  The small blind who had raised to 8 called the extra 28 bucks and now it was on me.  Obviously the small blind doesn’t have a straight.  He took a bit too long to decide so I knew he didn’t have a straight and had made his initial bet trying to build a pot knowing he had a monster.  I wasn’t sure what he had but I was almost certain he was third best.  It was 28 bucks to me and there was 126 in the pot.  So I’m getting five to one pot odds, but what did I need to win?

My guess is that I was up against a straight and possibly two pair at worse.  If the button had a straight then I would need to get a full house to beat him (or another 10 for quads).  If i was right and the small blind had two pair then the only thing I needed to worry from him was if one of his pair was the ace, and if he hit another ace then he’d have a better full-house.  Or if he had an unlikely, but possible, nut flush draw, straight draw, or straight flush draw then, and of the cards that would pair the board wouldn’t hurt me and give me the win.  So my guess was that either of the two remaining sevens or  eights, as well as the lone remaining 10, and possibly either of the two remaining Aces would give me the win.  At worse I had 5 outs, and at best I had 7 outs, which translates to something like a 12 to 18 percent chance which isn’t quite as good as i’d like with five to one odds.

Here’s the thing though.  If I call, there’s almost no chance either of the three remaining players go all in, since it would make no sense unless they were short stacked and none of them were.  So the 5 to one, could become something closer to 6 or 7 to one if there were some more callers.  Plus, I’m basing this off the button having the straight. It’s possible, but less likely he was over playing a hand like two pair, or was making a semi bluff with one of the monster draws possible with the board.  In addition to the current pot odds, I have to consider that if I hit one of the 5 or 7 cards I might need, I will almost certainly be able to get some more money on the river.  If the board had paired, and one of the opponents had gotten a lesser full house, then i’m golden, (if he had two pair with an ace in the hole and another ace hits then i’m fucked, but oh well) or if the two pair person ends up with three pair, he might still call a small bet feeling that he is pot committed.  The same could be said about the straight who might call either a small bet or possibly a large bet since he might not have been concerned about the board pairing and was more afraid of a higher straight or a flush.

Another big bonus is that the small blind will act before me so If I get another 7 or 8 or 10 (which unless he has pocket 7s or 8s would basically give e the nuts) I could reraise him if he he does a small feeler bet on the river.  Or if a flush hits and the small blind bets I can get out of it easily without risking anymore money.  There’s also the possibility of the hand checking down on the river if the other two players see river cards they don’t like or don’t hit their hands and I end up winning with my set.

So I call, and the other three players fold. The river brings a 2 of hearts, so I missed, and after the small blind checks, I’m guessing he did too.  I briefly think about betting big here, on the chance that I might be able to force out hands that have me beat like a J9 or 69.  The river 2 wasn’t really a scare card so that tact wouldn’t be likely to work, plus with two players and a somewhat large pot, chances are someone would call my all in of an additional 100 or so dollars.  I check, and the button agonizes over raising for a couple minutes.  I hope he checks since I know if he bets i’m not going to call, but when he throws in 80 bucks i’m fairly certain he is confident in his hand and is just trying to make himself appear weaker then he is.  The small blind thinks for a half minute and then calls, and now it is 80 bucks to me and there is just under 300 bucks in the pot.  As the board stands there are only three hands that beat me. Pocket Aces (Unlikely because of preflop and post flop action), 69 for a straight and J9 for a straight.  The 69 and J9 seem likely hands since the players that could have them are on the button (who only had to call 2 dollars to see a flop that would probably have 9 players in it, and the small blind only needed to risk one dollar.

I knew it would kill me if I was wrong but the fact that the small blind called meant that my only way of winning was if he two pair (or maybe a weaker set which i highly doubted) and had a read on the button that told him he had missed or had a worse two pair.  Either way I don’t think I can win, so I fold.

The button shows J 9, and the small blind shows A 7.  So my reads were right and I left the table down 44 bucks but happy that I could still read a table pretty well.  i still think my call on the turn was the correct move, although if another Ace had hit, i’m not sure if I would have been able to get away from the hand.  In fact I’m pretty sure I would have called his river all in, knowing full well that I was going to loose.

The wire will cheer me up

Ok So I had a really shitty day this morning so I thought I’d play around on the IMDB message board for the Wire to help cheer me up.  Instead of replying to posts on the message board however, I thought I’d put my answers on here since…. I don’t know, I haven’t made a blog entry in a while and this seemed like a good waste of time.  I’m going to post the topic and then my answer and pretty much go in order of the most recent posts with skipping over the topics I think are stupid.

season 5 was a spectacular flop

Season 5 was probably the worst of the 5 seasons, and I think a lot of that has to do with McNulty going off the deep end and making up a serial killer.  For a lot it seemed unrealistic, and that’s kind of how I felt until I was reading up on some of the real life stories the wire pulled it’s plot lines from and found out that the fake serial killings, the blatant fictional journalism, and Hamsterdam all basically happened in real life at one point or another.  The Hamsterdam real life equivalent actually took place in Harrisburg in the late 70’s.

Still, the first time through, season 5 does seem slightly out of place and somewhat rushed towards the end.

Who did you hate to see killed?

There aren’t many deaths in the wire where you were happy to see the person die.  In fact almost all the deaths were sad in some regard, but here’s my list.

1. Bodie – Mostly because it seemed like life gave him no options and he really was like a pawn

2. Stringer Bell

3. Wallace – just sad… although he was snitching and they are supposed to get stiches

4. Frank Sobatka – one of the most selfless characters on the show

5. Prop Joe – Having your flesh and blood sell you out it just straight cold, especially considering how much he had done for Cheese and Marlo

Was Cutty a closet pedophile?

No, he just didn’t understand Michael’s problem unlike Chris Partlow who obviously had been molested back in the day.  Cutty was just a hands on teacher and just didn’t make the connection.

Could Levy have intentionally left Marlo’s number for Herc?

Maybe, but I don’t think so for the simple reason that too many things had to go right after Herc got the number in order for Levy to see any payoff.

Top 10 best characters of The Wire

This is hard since as you watch the entire series multiple times you start to like all the characters more and more and you start to pick up on little pieces of uniqueness for each person the more you watch it.

1. Omar

2. Stringer Bell

3. Bunk

4. Freeman

5. Bubbles

6. bodie

7. McNulty

8. Bunny Colvin

9. Carver

10. Rawls

You Really Like The Wire. What other Shows Do You REALLY Like?

Honestly, the Wire ruined for me virtually any other procedural crime drama like NCIS, Law and Order, and CSI.  Still there are several other shows that have an ongoing plot line with believable characters (to varying degrees) that are certainly not in the same mold as the Wire, but that I still enjoy all the same.

The Shield, Nip Tuck, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Californication, Dexter, Sons of Anarchy, Justified, Community.

ok Community doesn’t really fit with the others, but it is hella good.

I hate Herc! *minor spoilers*

Yeah, as the seasons go on you really hate Herc more and more, and it’s not because he’s a bad guy in the classical evil sense, it’s just that he doesn’t have many of the important qualities a person in his position needs to have.  He is short sighted, doesn’t follow through on things, wants to take short cuts, kind of stupid…

It’s nice to see a central character who is just straight up inept.   Usually the main characters on shows are all virtuous people who are extremely talented and passionate, while in real life there are probably way more Herc’s out there.  Good at heart and maybe well meaning, but just in over his head.

Some characters kind of took over the crown from other characters

This seemed a little forced at the end of the series, but it kind of fit in with the show’s overall message.  It’s nice to imagine that Dukie and Michael would have fled Baltimore and some how made it to college and been successful, but odds are that one would end up on drugs and the other would end up doing business with a gun in some form or another.  I like to think that all of the characters who shifted into new roles aren’t supposed to be clones or replacements, but instead just a type of evolution.  Signor is hinted to be the new McNulty, but honestly he’s probably a combination of McNulty, Freeman, and Kima.  McNulty’s sense of justice, with Freeman’s patiences, and Kima’s street smarts.  Still here’s a run down of the character shifts.

Dukie ->  Bubbels (Just not as smart, and with no support structure or  hope)

Michael -> Omar (minus the love of cock, but possibly with more training)

Carver -> Lt. Daniels / Colvin Hybrid (Not as smart as either, but probably more caring than both)

Signor -> McNulty (probably never going to be a great homicide detective but will be excellent as a narco)

Slim Charles -> Avon/String/Pro Joe (He’s probably closer to Avon than anyone else since he really was just a soldier who went up the ranks because of attrition)

When was it implied that Cheese was Randy’s father?

At one point you hear that Cheese’s last name is Wagstaff which is Randy’s last name.  In the show they never confirm that they are father and son, but David Simon the writer/creator did confirm that he is the father and that they had toyed with some storyline ideas that revolved around that.

Best Stringer Bell Quotes?

This is tough since he has so many good lines but a few of my favs are his 40 degree day speech, his final moment with Avon talk, and his final moment “get on with it motherfucker”.

Why did Kima have to snitch on McNulty and Freamon?

This is subtle but it’s also what I liked about the show.  If this had been Law and Order, or CSI or some other cop show, Kima would have made up her mind to either snitch or not to snitch almost instantly and then followed through on said action.  On this show she went and talked to Carver first about how he felt after doing something similar. She didn’t make the decision lightly, and you could tell she hated doing it, but she was from the same mold as Daniels where the ends can’t justify the means.

Best Character Arc on the Show?

The obvious choice would be Bubbles, but I actually go with a tie between Prezbo and Boodie for my top spot.  Both characters are hated right from the get go.  Prezbo, kind of like Herc, shouldn’t be a cop, or at least, not the type of cop that is out on a beat.  Boodie is almost an archtype at the begining and is almost incapable of seeing things from a different point of view or taking a new perspective…. kind of like Herc.  As the show progresses though you attitude towards both characters change.  Both are in a situation that almost forces their hand in a way that they are unlikeable.  With Prezbo you see him able to move out of that sitation and into something that he is able to actually excel at and enjoy.  This is rewarding from a viewers perspective since you pretty early on feel sympathetic for Prezbo and are rewarded by seeing him in a new profession he truly enjoys.

Boodie in a similar fashion also becomes a sympathetic character since by the end you realize that he was born into the life, did everything he was told to do, and still came to a tragic end.  With Boodie however you could take solice in the fact that he went out on his terms, which in the context of the show and of his life, was kind of noble.

lines that made you laugh

Most of the Drunk McNulty stuff had me rolling.  Also Bunk had many choice quotes.  Best is the two of them together though.

Bunk: Popadopolis, man those greeks and their twisted ass names.

McNultty: Hey lay off the greeks, they invented civilization.

Bunk: Yeah? Ass fucking too.

Which season had the best last scene?

Season 3.  The song was perfect since the season kind of ended on a down note for many of the charachters and it represented a shift away from Barksdale and over to Marlo.  The song is Fast Train by… some guy, but the best cut, is when you see D’Angelo’s baby momma crying and the camera pans to pic of D and then one of String.

Most Satisfying Moments

In the final episodes montage when you see Bubbles walk up the steps to have dinner with his family.  A lot of people focus on the negative aspects of the show and how nothing changes and every thing is a vicious circle and there’s no hope for almost anyone on the show, but Bubble’s storyline showed that even with all the bad stuff, there is still room for some hope.

2nd time around

There was also a thread, that I can’t find anymore, that was devoted to people talking about things they only noticed during their second (or 3rd, or 4th, or …etc) viewing.  Some of my favorites that I can remember off the top of my head:

Bunny Colvin says “get on with it motherf-” right before getting fired, just the same as stringer bell did before muzone and Omar killed him.

Horse face from season 2 (the dock worker in the control booth) is seen living under the bridge in season 5 when McNulty is investigating the homeless.

D’Angelo in season 1 talks about the game being rigged, as does Boodie in Season 4.  Also boodie talks about being a pawn in season 4, and in season 1 D taught him and wallace about chess.

The cops never fired weapons on the show except for Prezbo where there was always a negative outcome for him.

In Season 1 Herc and Carver are bored on the roof top and Herc wonders out loud if the whole thing is over and no one told them about it.  In season 2 They are on stake out for 24hrs straight before finding out that the case was basically over.

Carver in his angry speech standing on top of a junk car in season 3 yells to the hidding ghetto corner kid “We do not loose, you loose”  which is kind of echoed when McNulty is justifying his fake serial killer angel in sason 5 to Bunk when he says “Marlo doesn’t get to win, we win”.

Dukie says “I’ll taking anyone’s money if they are just giving it away” when MArlo is giving out money to all the project hoppers, and later that season Clay Davis says “I’ll take any mother fuckers money if he’s just giving it away”

McNulty and Bunk keep correcting each other and other on the correct pronunciation of Roland Legget.

McNultty has trouble putting together an Ikea bedroom set in season one and so does Kima in season 4 or 5.

One of the kids that was reenacting the omar’s crew VS Barksdale crew shoot out, is the same kid that actually killed omar two season latter.

When omar gives bunk the gun bunk was looking for it is wrapped in the tie that omar wore when he testified against bird.

When Stringer sells out Avon to Bunny Colvin he says that it’s just business, and then when Mazone confronts Avon about String, Muzone says that it wasn’t about Business but Avon’s reputation that keeps his dealings with NY in check.  Also an episode or two earlier Avon is talking to String about Marlo and the corners and Avon says he’s not a business man like string and he’s just a gangster he supposes.  The whole string = business VS Avon = Street Rep is highlighted constantly in season 3.

In Season 3 when Bunny takes Carcetti to see a local meeting where the public is voicing concerns the one woman or man says that she’s/he is affraid especially since his/her brother Gant was a states witness and got killed, which of course is from the first episode, the guy who testified against D.

When in Season 5 Freeman meets with Clay Davis, and Davis briefly talks about ripping of String, and you can see in Freeman’s eyes that he just figured out who Stringer Bell was hiring the Jackal (assasin) for.  Freeman could have told Clay, you came so close to getting killed, but just let it slide.