NFL Live Blog week 11

Once again I didn’t make any picks this week cause who cares really. Wow, that sounded Emo.  Actually it’s not emo, it’s just a fact that I suck at making picks and the underdog strategy seems to work as long as you can find a vig that isn’t too high.

I do not care about either of the local games on TV which are The Ravens V Carolina and Washington V Titans.  Yeah I know I mix and match teams and mascots and should just go one way or the other but just be glad I’m spelling it correctly.

It’s a shame Portis hasn’t been able to stay healthy throughout his carer or he might have been prolific and HOF worthy.

Wow big play from TJ Houzemn.. whatever.  God I hate spelling. I also hate these games.  From a fantasy stand point I need the panthers to score a bunch of points and not give up a bunch of sacks or INTs so sucks to be me.

Wow, an almost exciting Punt return TD by some white Titan player. I don’t want to sound racist but that was one of the slower looking punt returns I’ve seen in a while.

So what should I order for lunch? Well I made a shit ton of meatballs last night because I bought way more beef than I should have and I had some egg whites and breading that I wanted to use up.  So I could snack on those but I would rather watch these awesome games.  I’m leaning towards vocelli’s pizza.  They have the best pepperoni Pizzas cause they are those small pepperonis and are nice and crispy.  Papa Johns is another thought since they have the garlic sauce I like as well as cheese sticks that are money.  Pizza hut has crazy awesome bread sticks, and despite it’s efforts to make improvements Domino’s still serves the shitties pizzas known to mankind.

Looks like the ravens are just going to kick the shit out of Carolina which is to be expected. The ravens really do have a ton of talent on Offense. And TJ looks like he’s coming alive.

DAMNIT I just looked online and the Vocelli’s closed it’s doors in HBG.

Oh christ I’m going against Ray Rice and Derek Mason today in fantasy sooooooo this awesome momentum for the ravens is soooooo not awesome for me.

Ughhhh no catches by cooley on that TD drive. More non-awesomeness for me.  At least the Raven’s settled for a Field Goal.

True Grit looks like it might be money, if only they didn’t have Jeff Bridges as the lead old western guy and got someone way more awesome for that role.

I hate ordering a 2 liter from Pizza places cause they over charge like crazy. 2.59 for a 2 litter? Fuck you very much papa johns.

Sweet Carolina kicks a FG which means no shutout which means less fantasy points for my opponent.

Speaking of Jeff Bridges…. WHOOOO!!!!!!! TRON previews.  Olivia Wilde looks hot, well actually she always looks hot, and the Tron haircut doesn’t really make her look that great, but seriously.. wow. I would touch her naughty places.

Carson Palmer just threw his second TD pass today. Guess who I’m playing today.  Ok I ordered my papa johns pizza and cheese sticks so I guess I’d better put some clothes on before the pizza guy gets here.  Wait, what if it’s a hot pizza girl? Wait, no, that’s not a real thing. I’ve never had a hot pizza delivery girl in all my years of wasting money ordering pizza.

Yep, lets find some pics of hot girls delivering pizzas.

I have a sneaking suspicion she doesn’t actually work for dominoes.

Well redskins had another redzone possession with none more looks to Cooley.

Carolina is challenging a play and won’t win.  Gregge Jennings jsut caught a TD pass, he’s not Donald Driver and not on my team.  annnnnddd carolina lost the challenge.  This sucks cause the Ravens are at the 25 and man am I going to get hammered in Fantasy this week.

Ok, more pizza girls.

Hey looks, it’s tony romos ex so it is technically football related.

and that is jeff garcia’s wife… and I think its photo shopped.

Cool, Pizza is here.  FUCK Ray Rice TD.

Panthers getting ready to punt. Hopefully Raven’s just kneel with less than 2 to play in first half. FUMBLE by boldin. Nice. Come on panthers. Score a TD. DO IT!!!!

speaking of doing it.

Interesting possible INT catch in the panthers game.  i’d write about it but these cheese sticks are good.

I know they say a key to loosing weight is eating slow, and based on how quickly I tore through those cheese sticks, I’m on my way to being the fattest guy in the history of the world forever.  BTW if you google image search “pizza girl” you would be surprised how many gang bang pictures show up. Granted if you look long enough almost all image searches result in some kind of porn, but usually you don’t get something crazy in the first page of results.

Hey, she brought beer in a glass and a pizza in a delivery box? What kind of either restaurant delivery or sit down restaurant would use that combination?

Huge return by David Reed for Bmore. Shit.

Ok I think we are about out of SFW pizza girl pics, but I did save one of the best for last.

That is a naked Katy Perry sitting in a tub eating a pizza.  It does look like one of those shitty hotel room service pizzas though so I doubt it’s that good.  Shit, Katy Perry is naked and wet and here I am thinking about the quality of the pizza.

Greg Jennings got another TD that should have gone to Donald Driver.  Panthers kicked another FG but I still need one more score before it drops the Raven’s Ds point total. These morning games need to end so we can start with the afternoon games. The Pats V Colts game should be awesome. Especially if brady throws four or more TDs since I have him in fantasy.

Mike Goodson just had the most underwhelming run, and the announcer started saying “I REALLY Like this Goodson kid blah blah blah”. Dude pick a better play to sound amazed about. He got a 3 and a half yard gain.

These games are depressing. Cooley drops a pass and mason catches one. The fantasy gods hate me. I’m going to take a nap till the afternoon games.

Wow that nap lasted all the way till halftime of the afternoon games. I’m still loosing all of my fantasy games by the way. In all five leagues, I am loosing. not cool.

Hey this James RB on the colts is a cousin of Edge. That’s kind of cool. You know what would be cooler though. If he was a cousin of both Edgerin James and Marshal Faulk.

Wow, the Green Hornent movie looks like it might be terrible.

I have to think that Seth Rogen was a terrible choice for the lead.  He’s just too goofy for an action movie.  His selection was probably one of those things where the casting people are sitting around and brain storming and say, hey what about Seth Roegen, and they are all like “Yeahhh that could be great”. Then when they gave it some time they should have thought. yeahhhhh but we are making something that is more drama and action than comedy, who’s going to take him serious as a hero.  And then someone else was like, “uhhhhh we already paid him sooooo yeah”.

Come on Garcon catch a TD for me. Wow, hell of a TD catch… Wayne. Fuck.

Ok back to green lantern. Shit, I mean Green Hornet. Green Latern might also suck, but I love Ryan Reynolds. Anyways, in the hornet trailer above it starts out with a couple of things I hate. 1. They make it look like Seth Roegen’s charachter, the green hornent, who’s name I don’t know, finds out about his dad’s death via a TV broadcast that he was kind of watching while cruising in a limo with a bunch of hot strippers. So instead of the police or a loved one calling and being like, hey are you siting down, i got some bad news for you, instead he finds this out while partying in a limo.  During that quick new segment they mention that he, the main character inherits some insane fortune media something, which they don’t do.  When was the last time you saw a news broadcast where some insanely rich business person dies and they mention that the kid will take over everything?  Seriously don’t they usually just focus on the life of the person who died, not the shitty irresponsible kid who will probably ruin the company?

So in the next scene (not really a scene since it’s a trailer but you know what i’m saying) we see Roegan on a couch speculating on all the cool shit he could do now.  The trailer made it seem like he wasn’t broken up about his dad being dead via murder, but instead is kind of juiced about all the cool shit he can do now that he is still irresponsible and has even more money.  It feels way more like a 90’s adam sandler or random 80’s movie where some distant uncle dies and the protagonist is the only living realative and gets a shit ton of money and hijinks ensue.

Seriously, tell me that doesn’t sound like a good seth roegan movie.  Ok the rest of the trailer is spent brearking time between fairly cool looking fight scenes and explody action goodness, and showing instances where Seth Roegen acts like he’s in Pineapple express mode and Kato wants to be in the Dark Night.  Then at some point There’s something about Mary shows up and then GIANT CAR GUNS WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!.

Ok the Half is over so maybe I’ll talk about football some more.

God damn the niners are getting killed in the time of possesion department.  Thankfully they are only down 7 which is about to become 10.  Sweet C. Barth missed the kick… who is C Barth, who cares.  Come on niners. ARI lost today and so did Seattle, now I need the niners to win and STL to lose to ATL and the niners will only be one game back in the NFC West.

Colts are moving down the field but I’m still not seeing Garcon being targeted. Makes sense I guess since he has stone hands this year.  i should just be happy for the three points he has so far this game. WOW just as I type that Garcon has a pass go right through his hands.  Yeah the pass was high and if he had caught it, he would have been tackled immediately, but still.  annnndddd on third down, Garcon had the opportunity to make a good play and dropped a tough pass.  It was tough and he was twisted around but he has to be good enough to catch it if he wants to play with Manning.

New Orleans is kicking shit out of Seattle which is good. ATL is down 1 to STL right now which i’m not crazy about, but I’m confident hotlanta will pick up the pace.  Niners still down 7.  They are down 7 nothing. I’m almost glad it’s not on tv.  Nevermind, TB just scored, so now the niners are down 14 with a little over a quarter left to play.

Anne Hathaway is hot.  that has nothing to do with football, but she was on SNL last night and i thought I’d menation it… and google her name with the word naked attached to it.  Havoc is a great movie.  I don’t know what it is about but i’ve watched part of it several times.

DAMN another Pats running TD. Shit. I’m having a good game from Brady but once again I sat a QB that had an amazing game.  Big Ben would have gotten me 60 points if i had started him.

Yeah I didn’t watch SNL last night since I spent the night beating Dark Night: Arkham Assylum.  Yeah the game came out like a year ago, but I heard it was money.  Plus Gran Turismo comes out tuesday and I haven’t used my PS3 in over a year so I wanted to play a game to see if it works, and it was only 20 bucks now that the game is like a year old.  I can’t see spending sixty bucks on a game that is only going to be played for about a week or less.  Maddenn, NCAA, Gran Turismo, those are all games that you can play for months on end. I guess with the online stuff the same could be said of Call of Duty but I never got into the online stuff.

Actually I didn’t buy Madden 11, and I don’t think I bought Madden 09 either.  There use to be a time I’d buy it every year. Now, not so much. I haven’t bought a NCAA since 09 I don’t think.

Come on Colts, lets put our faith in Garcon, despite him being terrible.  Wow, terrible INT.  God DAMNIT, Garcon must have ran the wrong route. My blogging must be the kiss of death for Garcon for some reason.

Ok Pats you are up 14 but you can’t be content with that, let’s get a quick TD pass and wrap things up.

I might be an asshole, but the commercials where they say Chris Henry died tragically blah blah blah, am I confusing him with someone else, or didn’t he die after chasing his wife and hoping in the back of her moving truck and then falling out of it?  I don’t know if that is the exact definition of the word Tragic.  I guess all deaths outside of Hitler and Saddam Huessane are tragic but the commercial makes it sound like he died saving someone’s life or fighting overseas in the military.  Actually, the first half of the one commercial I saw featured the stuff about Chris Henry and then talked about the passengers on flight I forget the number who on Sept 11 fought the hijakers and crashed the plane in western PA.  I have a hard time letting that take second stage to Chris Henry.

They just showed the TD pass from Freeman to Williams and I didnt’ realize he had been arrested for DUI and is still playing and beating my niners. Fuck you TB. Why wasn’t the guy suspended. Thanks Roger Godell. Where the hell were you on that one.

Ok pats, you are in the rezone, time for some reverse psychology. Hey pats, just run it and dont worry about settling for a FG. Passing here is dangerous and totally wouldn’t lead to a TD. DAMNIT they are settling for a FG after brady kind of threw a dangerous pass as it just went off the receivers fingers.

OK lets get back to some more movie trailers since I’ve already had two in here and might as well run with it.  They keep showing the Tron Legacy previews and I started to wonder what the original trailer looked like.

TB 21 SF 0  eight minutes left in the fourth. ATL is starting to pull away from STL so this really was a golden opportunity for the niners.  they have so much talent on offense its amazing that no QB for them can’t at least just manage a game and pick up some Ws.  Last week the niners won with Troy smith throwing some passes down the field.  Smith averaged something like 18 yards per complestion.  This game he has 11 out of 19 passes completed for 97 yards. Singelstary is just too conservative in play calling.  I’d rather the QB throw a bunch of INTs down the field than not convert enough 3rd downs cause each play whether run or pass is only worth 3 or 4 yards.

So yeah that original Tron trailer looks pretty shitty. Let’s check out the new one for the new movie.

I’m hopping they are underplaying the CGI awesomness and there will be way more CGI action in the movie.  i’m not even joking, i’m totally serious about that. Also I hope Olivia wilde shows her boobs… I feel like I wrote about this already.

Seriously, if you look at the preview it does kind of look like a silly movie if you judge it solely on their outfits.

i love commercials where they show football players in non real uniforms. i don’t know why but I find it hilarious because they almost always choose the worse looking colors and designs.  I’ve never seen a fake football uniform that doesn’t look terrible.  Remember the movie the Replacments or whatever it was called. God damn those were hideious.

OMG Garcon caught a pass.

Ok OK OK OK  just keep talking about bad uniforms.  Ok remember the Any given Sunday? The sharks uniform wasn’t bad but the logo was terrible. Like it was straight out of Miami vice. And the team they played in the big game had horrible oh fuck it, blair white caught the TD. Fuck I have him on my bench too.  On my bench is blair white who has two TDs, Big Ben who has 4 I think, and Matt Bryant who had a bunch of kicks, but I started a bunch of guys who got two or three points, plus Dan carpenter got zero points so…. shit.

OK back to movie trailers.  Have you seen the preview for Faster the Dwane the rock Johnson movie.  It doesn’t look like a real movie that is actually being made.  instead it looks like one of those fake over the top movies you see in comedies where they are making fun of the action movie genre.

I dare you to count the number of Cliches in the clip.  In another trailer for this movie Dexter Morgan’s sister yells “I Hope you kill them all” from a front porch.

And Manning just threw a pick ending the game and ending my opportunity for points.  Great INT by the way. Nice Catch.  It wasn’t completly Mannings fault since he was getting hit when he threw. Still the pass was a little dangerous. Man what the hell was Brady so pissed about at the end of the game.

Star was running at the screen in that Geico commercial where the wood chucks are chucking wood.  Here’s the thing.  The commercial makes no sense.  Previously that guy had asked rhetorical questions.  The set up is the same. The 80s slick back hair bad guy turned spokes person asks “Can Geico save you up to 30 percent on your car insurance? Can something something rhetorical?”  The first couple I remember was stuff like can Charlie Daniels play a mean fiddle or is Ed to tall jones too tall, and then they show a quick shot of Ed being to tall in a Doc’s office and Charlie Daniels playing the fiddle like a mad man.  So now they have a commercial where the guy says “Can geico save y0u money on car insurance?  Do wood chucks chuck wood?”

NO. no they don’t.  The other ones made sense.  This one doesn’t, because the whole thing is that people say “How much wood would a wood chuck chuck IF a wood chuck could chuck would?” That implies that they can’t chuck wood or at the very least never do.

So in essence the Geico commercial is saying, Nope, We can’t save you money. Ohhhhh Wellllllll, thankfully you are stupid and get distracted by puppets, Geckos, Cave Men, and googley eyes.  They now have four different ad campaigns.  It’s an excellent strategy since you don’t have to pin all your hopes on one campaign or mascot and 2, yeah people are stupid for the most part.


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