NFL semi live blog week 10

I didn’t make any picks this week mainly because I suck and the only thing I care about it how the underdogs perform.

I call this a semi live blog since I’m at aarogas with Gamble and Bridgette and am way more focused on food than on typing.

Our waitress today is probably the best combination of cute and friendly I’ve had in a while. Very talkative but in an upbeat positive kind of way.

It is really hard to concentrate on any one game with so many TVs howing so many games.  I will say that even with all of the non stop football action flying of the TVs I am ready to say that Garrard is completly failing me on fantasy football and I think it’s mostly Jones Drew’s fault for being so good so far.

I also normally post a bunch of pics of barely football related hot chicks, but since I’m in a public place it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to google image search “Hot bitches holding footballs”.  Next week, it’s on.

Gamble and bridgette are talking about mortgage refinancing. wweeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Now we are talking about triathlons.

Ocho is hurt which is awesome for me since i’m going against him and I also have TO in another league.  Right now I need some points from Garrard.  He really has been feast or famine all year.

mmmmmmmmm…. deep fried hot dogs!!!!!!!

gamble and I want to plan a group trip out to Las Vegas. Who’s in???!?!?!?!?!

ok, honestly, the deep fried hot dogs aren’t that amazing.

Payton manning looks so pissed on the sideline even though they are up 10.  He’s the Tim Dunkin of the NFL.  I still don’t like the way the Bengals head coach looks confused constantly on the sideline after every god damn play.

WHoooo!!!! finally a garrard TD pass.

ILLLLLL Tyler Thigpen in for the Dolphins. man… what a terrible football name.  aaannnnnd his first is almost intercepted. oh well. I get another FG from Carpenter.

Holy shit Tyler just threw a TD pass. He’s soooo Pumped. Damn, they went for two with Ronnie brown and didn’t get it so no extra point points for carpenter plus no ronnie brown two point conversion points.  If I remember correctly Tyler Thigpen was the starter in KC before they brought in Casel, and Thigpen had taken over for… concusion guy, what’s his name, trent green, and when thigpen was in he did fairly well, and i was kind of surprised when they actually brought in Casel.   I think Thigpen has to be the starter next week.

Last four minutes of the morning games are getting exciting.  Jones for MIA got his first carrer sack and then first INT.  Bengals throw a TD then get an onside kick back.  Houston is driving with a tied game with 16 seconds left. Jets and Browns are in OT.  and now it looks like Houston and Jags are going to OT.  Chi town D is dominating the vikes.  Bengals just fumbeled… because they are the bengals.

Bridgette sexily pumped her fist as the colts recovered a fumble… sexily.

HOLY SHIT!!!!! Amazing play in Jacksonville. Garrard threw a bomb hail mary a houston defender knocked it down but it landed in the lap of a jags player. who walked in.

Morning games are over. Bridgette and her delicious looking muffin top is going to leave in a minute or two, as will gamble.

Shit the Rams are moving down the field on the niners fairly easily.  Looks like that week off really didn’t help.  Ok some well timed penalties helped hold the rams to a field goal.

Wow, and now we are talking about taking a whiz wile running.

And now the conversation has shifted to phone sex.

The browns jets game is going to end in a tie. Fuck Rex Ryan.. that’s the coach of the Jets right.  He is the type of guy you would love to have coaching your team but hate him when he’s an opposing coach in your division.

Bridgette just brushed aside her golden honey color hair as her lovely light blue eyes peered over at my laptop to see if I was writing about that AFuckingMazing play in the Jags game. OMG that was so money, mostly because I really needed some more points from Garrard.

Dang Gafney caught a TD pass instead of Brandon Lloyd.  Shit I hate Sanchez.  He’s not that good. He’s lucky and he only got that TD cause the defender fell down on the tackle.

Ok now I am at the bowling alley with Ray and Laura getting ready to prebowl since no one can make the regularly scheduled league night.  They have the giants game on and Eli Manning / Eor (from Winnie the Poo) just through a pick six from the cowboys 5 yard line. Nice job lesser Manning.

Ok, now I am back at home after bowling a 506 series, which for me is real good. Not amazing, but good especially considering how bad I’ve been bowling lately.

The Giants and Cowboys are making this into an interesting game.  People will probably start to over emphasis how much energy Dallas is playing with in this game and say that it is because of their new coach Jason Garrett, but honestly anytime a coach is fired, the team usually responds by playing harder.

ahhhhh john Kitna, the poor man’s Matt Hasselbeck.

Niners V Rams is kind of a good game too, especially since it looks like Troy Smith is actually able to throw a pass more than 7 yards down the field unlike Alex Smith.  Still, they are down 7 right now but still plenty of time left on the clock.  I also like that Seattle is beating up on Arizona since Rock’s cousin has zona’s D in fantasy this week. whooooo!!! fantasy.

God Damnit, I hate when they do the in game head shot of someone back in L.A.  This time it’s Jimmy Johnson just spouting out nothing interesting.  It’s not a news broadcast.  The person back in the Fox Studios are not providing any type of expert opinion that isn’t already being provided by the guys in the booth.

All of the announcers want to bang Bradshaw.

Niners kick a field goal and bring it to within 4 points.

I don’t understand why commentators complain about how deep a receiver runs his route on 3rd down.  If a play calls for a receiver to run a 5 yard hook, then he can’t choose on his own to run it as a  7 yard hook just cause it would get a first down since that’s not how he and the QB has practiced it, and doing that could lead to poorly timed passes and INTs.  Plus usually the shorter routes are run so that middle and deep routes can come open.  If everyone adjust their routes so that they would get a first down then it would bunch up the defenders around them in the secondary.

Wow, nice athletic catch by Boss, and he paid the price for it.  Of course if Hicks hadn’t dropped the previous pass, he wouldn’t have had to sacrifice himself like that.

How can you have a monster like Jacobs and not get a 4th and less than a yard conversion.  Terrible.  Also, I don’t care. Let’s google some hot football chicks…. ORRRRRRRRRRRRr…. how about hot muffin top chicks.

dfdss

It’s a power outage Pam Oliver not a hostage situation.  It’s not that scary, you don’t need to find someone and grab them and hold on to them.  That’s sad.

Ok so those are some examples of ok looking muffin tops, especially the one on the left.

There’s no chance that chick wasn’t either a stripper at one point in her life, or at least thought about doing it to pay for nursing school.

6 pounds of sugar in a 5 pound bag.

Holy shit, please stop talking to people who aren’t at the game, unless they actually have something interesting to talk about.

Boom.

WHOOOOOOO niners TD. Smith pass to Crabtree. They take a three point lead with a little over 2 min to play.

BTW did I explain what a muffin top is?  Well the cute and maybe kind of hot waitress at Aarogas was sporting a muffin top which can best be described by this pic.

BTW if you google image search the word Muffin Top, you also get this image which I don’t think is technically correct

Sadly I know that she is a victoria secret model who had a kid with some NBA player and still looks that hot and her name is Allesandra Amkjdflsjkdssomethingorother.

Well that’s a killer holding penalty.  Last week in my cut throat league I could have taken either Brandon LLoyd or Hakem Knicks and damn, either would have been awesome. I took Lloyd.

HOLY SHIT, what a terrible play by Eli Manning.  wow. That was awful.  It wasa a low snap that got away from him after the play clock was down to zero. it got pass Eli so instead of falling on it he tried to grab it as he’s being tackled and then just kind of tossed it wimply at a defensive player who recovered it.

That’s the difference between Eli and Payton. They both have huge upside and are excellent passers, but Eli will make boneheaded plays like that, while Payton would just take the sack.

Ok, thanks to the power of google I was able to find out that the model’s name is alessandra ambrosio and she is somewhat attractive when compared to the hottest women who have ever lived in the history of the world forever.

christ….

Jesus Christ!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!

HAHAHAHHA nice kick cowboys kicker. Come on niners. Hold on for the win.

Shit Stephen Jackson down to the redzone with less than 50 seconds left. Got to hope for a Field Goal and a good effort in OT. aaannnnndddd we are going to overtime… unless the niners have an amazing kick return.

I don’t know if I blame Eli for that INT that much. IT was a good play by ball….. and now that I see it on replay, it wasn’t a pass he should have thrown.

I have 6 skill position players on my fantasy bench (TE, WR, RB) and they all have a bye or didn’t play cause of injury or just didn’t score any points.  So Having Jacoby Jones score 3 points is the best lineup I could have played.  I had to start David Gettis for Carolina, that’s how bad of a position I was in.  Right now I’m down by less than a point.  I have Stephen Jackson in Overtime and my oponent has Vernon Davis so I have to root against my fantasy team here in overtime.  I also have chris cooley monday night and he has Brandon Tate tonight.

Ok guys, lets see some bonus coverage of the niners V Rams

who cares about Jason Garrett and his first win, I’m down by .32 points and the Bradford was just sacked. Let’s go there. Yes, Pam Oliver is hot, but I want to see the niners. I hate this internet watching shit.

Ok niners, you have the ball back, just run it down the Ram’s throat with Gore and then kick an easy field goal and don’t give the ball to Vernon Davis please.

FUCK the cowboys. lets see another game that is still playing… ok here we go.

WOW I only saw one play and it makes me love Troy Smith. it wasn’t even a completion it was just a pass interference call.

OK, normally I don’t like when teams kick field goals on 2nd or 1st down in situations like this, but with the niners fumbling history I say this is a good move. Whooooooo!!!! awesome.  That over time couldn’t have been better for me… well maybe it’s possible but still I gained a few points on my fantasy opponent when jackson ran the ball and then Davis got no points as the niners won.

Time for some Simpsons before the evening game comes on.  I really need Brandon Tate to under perform.  Basically I just need Chris Cooley to perform a little better than him and I win.

Yes I am watching the Pats V Steerlers game but don’t feel like live blogging it.  Maybe I’ll write something else, like why Sundays are awesome.

NFL Football in the morning… more Football in the evening, plus Dexter, East Bound and Down, the Walking Dead, and Boardwalk Empire. (ok yeah east bound and Down had the last episode of this season last week, but I also didn’t mention Sunday night powerhouse mad men which wrapped up a couple weeks back)

Ok so at the half, brandon Tate really hasn’t done much of anything and only scored less than one point. Also at the half, those creepy Tiny Football League segments which, well it creeps me out.  i don’t like when people care that much about peewee football which is supposed to e all about having fun. I really can’t put my finger on why its creepy but it is, it really is.

Oh and remember when I said people would make to big a deal out of the cowboys win? bob Costas is now doing a little voice over segment on it which is almost as heartfelt as the stuff he does during the Olympics for athletes from third world countries who have to avoid literal land mines during training.

Star is sleeping on the couch beside me and she just farted loud enough that it woke her up and scared her to the point where she sprinted off the couch to hide from whatever was making the horrible sounding and smelling fart noise.

Stupid pass to brandon Tate. Shit, maybe I should have started Brady. ughhhhh I’m going to need a TD from Cooley tomorrow night probably. Wow, I really should have started Brady. Garrard did well but Brady is making him look like Garrard and playing like Brady.  Honestly, he deserves to bang the shit out of someone like Geisel.

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