live blog smallville episode

Lately I’ve been reading ComicAlliances reviews of Smallville, so since it’s on right now I thought I would live blog my thoughts as the show goes down.

I actually thought the start of the episode was actually a twilight zone episode.

So Lois is broken up about a tape her dying mother made for her when she was in the hospital dying of cancer and Louis didn’t go to visit her for the five weeks she was in there before she died.  I never knew any of this, they just gave a shit ton of exposisiont in this scene.  So she is wondering if she should watch the tapes but is filled with shame and hopes her mom isn’t mad at her on the tapes, so like a good boyfriend super hero god, clark says “Well, I gotta go on patrol I guess, you know since i’m already awake….. oh unless you want me to stay, you know and talk about your emotions instead of actually saving peoples lives.”  Those weren’t his exact words but it’s pretty close.

Here’s all the things you could have done that would have been better than making her feel bad about having feelings:

  • Offer to watch the video with Lois
  • Maybe watch the video for Lois to make sure that there isn’t anything Lois shouldn’t see
  • Do anything other than just run away and make her feel bad about putting her feelings above other peoples lives

I don’t actually know who Tess Mercer is.  I guess she was a major player in the Superman universe, but I have no idea.

Clark just found the most obvious clue in the history of TV by pulling off a loose sticker.

Ok, I do know who Granny Goodness is, kind of.  She’s some kind of intergalactic God/Bad Guy who was a major Darkseid alli. (Darksied is probably Superman’s toughest opponent)  So Smallville is showing that she is some kind of evil old woman who runs an orphaneige.  I think a major complaint with Smallville from fans is that the basterdise a lot of the bad guys or other charachters and just ham fist them into the show even if they completly remake the character in an super shitty way.

Maybe you made the sun comming in through the windows a little too golden in the Kent house.  Maybe the Kent farm is a Gold farm and right outside the window is a pile of gold bricks that are reflecting literal golden light through the windows.

Wow, lois is watching the tape of her mother, and they got Terri Hatcher to play Lois’ mom, and she looks damn hot for someone who is dying of cancer.  Remember that Hatcher was Lois lane on Lois and Clark back in the 90’s.  Wait, who in thier right mind would they not let their children visit their dying mother.  Who makes that decision?    OMG all of Terri Hatcher’s video tape speech is all not so subtly instructions on how to handle being Superman’s wife.  If Lois wasn’t dating Superman, she’d probably watch this and think “What the fuck is my mom talking about, this is the most random advice I’ve ever heard…. what type of cancer did she have?”

Ok, we might be getting some superman fighting pretty soon. aaaannnnnddddddd he lost his powers.  again…. like he does in every episode… because it’s probably easier to film and CGI a depowered superman than one who actually has super powers and fights other super powered characters.

Ok, so Tess Mercer was as a child one of Granie Goodnesses orphans and that means something I guess since they put a lot of dramatic music behind that reveal.

This isn’t related to the show, but Michelle Wee is looking really good in her shitty minivan commercial.

Lois is talking with Kryptos the super dog… you know, Superman’s dog.. that has super powers. So Lois was able to find some special key that clark “Hid” in the kent family  barn.  Superman has amazing powers, yet when he hides something that is supposedly really important, he just tosses it behind a book case.  He doesn’t punch a hole in a mountain and bury it under a volcano. Nope, just puts it behind a half filled book case with no backing.

Ok, it is pretty obvious already that Granny Goodness in Smallville isn’t a God from outerspace but just some creepy old lady.  Oh wait, no, she does have some super powers, maybe she is a space god.  Ok Grannie has a bunch of hot 20 something chicks that have kryptonite weapons and are expert fighters, which I think the stable of hot fighting chicks was actually a part of the real granier goodness in the comic books.   BYW one of the hot fighting chicks has freddy kruger gloves.

How the hell did Lois get to antartica? I guess that’s what that key does.  I must say that her rooting through his stuff to find the key and then going to his fortress of solitude to confront the crystal generated computer program with the spirit of Superman’s biological Kryptonian father about his bad parenting skills, is kind of a major breech in privacy and trust.  I honestly am pretty confident that the last sentence is a fairly accurate rundown of what is happening in that scene.

I wonder if I knew more about the series or the Superman comic books in general and thereby knew more about Tess that i would be interested in learning more about her and her back story.  Wow, so there is kryptonite fire in front of clark which is making him so weak he can be gut and bleed…. and he uses his freeze breath to super cool a chain holding …. something over top of the flame so that the chain broke and the giant metal cover covers the flame so clark is no longer affected by the kryptonite…. you know the kryptonite that didn’t stop him from being able to user his freeze breath.  Smallville really does play fast and loose with how kryptonite affects Clark.  You almost get the idea that it wouldn’t affect him at all if he wasn’t such a pussy.

Ok Rocco called me during the scene where clark finds lois in the fortress of solitude and talks his dad out of, i don’t know, torturing lois????? so I kind of missed that scene.  I honestly don’t know what was going on but i’m sure it was just some kind of forced “emotional” dialog where they make lois and clarks respective parent issues painfully similar.

Granny goodness started chatting with some other dudes about Darkseid and I totally didn’t pay attention cause I thought it was another show starting.  I have no idea what Supernatural is aside from it being a show on WB that comes on after smallville and I really thought this scene was the start of the tonights episode.  Ok so I’m still not sure if Granny Goodness is or isn’t a space god… since I didn’t listen at all and the only thing I heard was some dude tell the Granny that she will pave the way or something.  I guess the hot chick fighters are like the foot soldiers leading the way for darkseid.  ughhhhhhh I bet that was a big scene. Guess I’ll be downloading tonights episode tomorrow so that my nerd curiosity can be quenched.

Wait, so Tess is Lex Luthor’s half sister?  Didn’t she have some kind of crush on Lex, or did they date?  Wow lots of half Incest storylines going on lately on TV.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA the previews for next weeks episode just showed green arrow and Aquqa Man being captured by the government, and while that could be cool, the announcer was just way over the top trying to make it sound cool that next week “AQUAMAN RETURNS!!!!”  It’s easy to mock Aquaman, and everyone does it, but in almost every incarnation, comic books, tv, movies, etc… he looks pathetic. I don’t think Smallville will be able to pull off the powerful badass tortured rulers of a hidden kingdom thing and will instead go the route of orange and green outfit guy who talks to fish and swims fast.

Tomorrow I will probably go back through and add some screen caps from this episode. Maybe. Probably not though.

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