NFL week 9 live blog.

This week we are going to go away from the hot chicks in jerseys and instead focus on some NFL Wags.  if you don’t know what a Wag is, it’ stands for Wives and Girlfriends. So this will all be picks of current of former wives or girlfriends of NFL stars of today or yesterday.  (yesterday in figurative terms).

For a second week in a row I really don’t care about any of the games, so I’ll just sit at home and watch whatever CBS and Fox tells me to watch. Morning will be Ravens v  dolphins and  bucks V Falcons. Afternoon is  Eagels V Indy and the night game is Pitt V Cinci.  The only games I have a rooting interest in, out side of fantasy scores, is Seattle V Giants and Ariz V Min since if those teams loose and continue to loose the niners might have a chance to make it to the playoffs.

Games should be starting in just over an hour… ughhhhhhh .. I can’t wait that long.

So to pass the time I just spent an hour researching and uploading pics of NFL WAGS.  I was able to remember most of these off the top of my head.  The one that i remembered first is Jennifer Walcott, who is married to Adam Archeletta the former Safety for the Rams and … some other team or two. God Damn She’s hot. Whooooooooooo Football.

Ok games are about to start and they show this montage of players and they have this close up of Philip River’s face and my god does he look like an asshole.  He may be one of the nicest human beings ever but… he’s not, there’s no way, look at him.  He has to be a cock in real life. It’s science.

So I’m watching the Ravens and while Kyle boller looks good right now, I can’t believe that people were so dead set on him being one of the top 5 QBs this year.  BTW great run and catch bywillis mghee.  Also I don’t know why I said Kyle Booler and not Joe Flaco but who cares.  The only reason i’m watching this game is in hopes that Todd Heap gets me some fantasy points in my one league.    What sucks is that I have a ton of players playing right now but only ronnie brown and Dan carpenter are playing on TV for me right now. so far it looks like Brown is off to a good start.  So good he might lead them down close to the goal line and then ricky williams will run in the TD. We’ll see.  Let’s see one last pic of Walcott.

I also have to admit that i’m rooting for the lions against the jets for two reasons.  Stafford is on Devon’s fantasy team and he kind of sucks at fantasy so it would be nice to see him do well.  Also I hated how much everyone rode the Jets in the Preseason despite them not really being that great last season.  I think Dan Deirdorf just came because Hennes last pass was so good.  Speaking of cumming, I just watched Ronnie Brown score on a 10 yard TD run.   To celebrate my good fortune, lets look at some pics of another NFL Playmate wife.  This is Carmella Descasera (I don’t know how to spell her last name) but basically she’s Jeff Garcia’s wife.

Hot chicks with cowboy hats equal hottest chicks possible.

How is Derek Mason old but also still money but Husmanzada slightly younger and terrible now. Whatever, here’s more hotness as John Harbaugh challeneges something that will totally not be changed.

That commercial with the baby flying around the western country side is starting to creepy me out mostly because of the old timey song they play. “You’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates, I’ve got a brand new key”  the fuck does that mean.  I’m guessing it makes sense back in the 40s or 50s, but i don’t understand it at all.  I’m guessing the one guy has roller skates which are a big fucking deal in their town in that decade, and the chick has a key of cocaine. So they are going to take turns getting coked out of their mind and rolling around on their sweet ass skates.

speaking of commercials, they just showed a kick ass one where Kobe Bryant and Jimmy Kimmel are playing a real life call of duty. money.  btw, Holy shit are the ravens shooting themselves in the foot after a great interception and return.

Holy shit, did they not just shoot them selves in the foot, they then  dipped the wound in a sewer and forgot to clean it or use antibiotics to heal it.  wow.  INT return down to the 5 yard line, then a terrible sack, a delay of game, almost a seoncd delay of game before you call a time out with half a second on play clock, a three man result results in basically another sack, and then you fumble the snap on the field goal attempt resulting in no points.  Terrible.  Lets look at something that is the opposite of terrible.

Tim Couche’s wife and the last of the NFL playmates for today: Heather Kozar

She’s no relation to Bernie.

There’s nothing i like seeing more in the world than an in game highlight that shows Jeremey Shockey rolling around on the ground in pain.  Ok honestly I like seeing Heather Kozar way more.

My god, does the ravens have a ton of talent on offense.  Granted some of the players you’d probably like to have as a year or three younger.  Donte Stallworth, Housmanzada, McGhee, Heap, Boldin, Clayton, Rice, McClain, … maybe flacco,

Come one MIA you have three mintues before the end of the first half to get me some Ronnie Brown or Dan Carpenter supplied points. Hey maybe both.

It is hard as hell to find pics of this chick where she isn’t crazy naked… which is good since she looks crazy good when naked.  Or did, she and Couch had a kid so i’m sure she’s all disgusting looking now when naked.

Anytime I see a white receiver try to jump over a defender and thereby just stupidly risking serious harm for very little gain, I can’t help but think of the green lantern Wayne Chrebet.

So a commercial for American Idol showed Carrie underwood which could be listed on this list since she spent some time with Tony Romo….. but her tits are small, so instead I present to you Jessica Simpson.

I know I should be paying attention to the games and not the commercials but why did Citizen actually pay money to have Eli Manning endorse their watches.  Did they pay him? My guess is some Ad exec was like, I want manning. And then some underling had no idea who that was so the Ad Exec was like “the Quarter back??1/?!?  you know, the one in the NFL?!?!??!”  and the supid assistant signed Eli by mistake.

Boom points by carpenter.  Holy shit, Roscoe Parish got a TD just now too.  I only have him in cause i’m out of options.  My shit players are comming through today what with howling running back a 96 yard kick return for a TD and ronnie brown also getting a TD. Nice.   Speaking of NICE!!!!

Nope we need a bigger pic of that awesomeness.

That’s better.

Ok so at the half I’ve paid more attention to hot chicks and commercials than any of the games, but luckily I am winning most of my fantasy matuchups right now, although there is still a lot of time left.  Un-luckily I had to hear Shannon Sharp do halftime highlights.  Listen he’s not bad if he’s not rushed like he is during halftime.  Just let other people do it.  Also I hate mark Sanchez now.  Even when he plays bad, his team gets lucky which is what looks like is happening in their game. Pulls there is a rumor he is hooking up with Jaimie Lynn Seigler… who I didn’t dowload pics of cause it’s just a rumor and I already have too many other pics on here.

Ok so who do you want to see now?  I know I said there wasn’t anymore playmates but there is a chick who was in playboy… wait two more and one of them has a porn tape… wait no, both of them do. Whatever, here you go.

ok enough halloween hotness lets look at some bikini pics as ray rice catches 45 passes on this drive for something like a billion yards.

If you google Kim Kardashian with the word bikini added in you will see that there are a thousand pictures like these where she’s awesomely walking out of the ocean.  You know what else is awesome, Ronnie Brown… well at least today he is.   Awesome might be over stating it, but compared to the last 6 or so weeks, he is playing awesome.  Ok one last bit of Kardashian Awesomness.

These morning games are still boring me.  I wish I could watch DET as it gets the lead back from the over rated jetz just moments ago, or maybe watch the pats and browns to find out why the pats are sucking ass so bad. Arizona is beating Minn right now, i’m guessing because Childress is god damn terrible.  I bet if you combined Mike Singeltarys energy and motivation and likeability with childresse’s knowledge and skill, you might have a poor man’s Bill Cower.  That’s who I hope becomes the next niners coach by the way.

Damn Ray Rice is catching everything right now. almost 100 yards receiving.

Ok from one “celeb” with a sex tape to another “celeb” with a sex tape we have Kendra Wilkinson.  WOW Did shawn Smith blow a pick six. ok back to hotness.. hot hot white trash hotness.

Hey look it’s even more football themed.

God Damn she looks stupid.

wet boobs are the best type of boobs.  Ok, I’m doing ok in fantasy but i could definitely use some more points before I start to feel comfortable.

I’m trying to think about what else I can talk about since I really don’t care about what’s happening in the games… lets be honest though, it’s all just pretense for posting pics of hot NFL wags like Bridgette Mohnahan, or whatever Tom Brady’s ex’s name was/is.

Ok all of these bull shit penalties for leading with the helmet is .. um.. bullshit.  Don’t get me wrong, sometimes they are legitimate, but most of these are bull shit.  At some point a defensive player is going to get hurt trying to tackle someone while magically making their head/helmet not touch any part of the offensive player.  The hit on Favre last week was completely legal but that dude got fined something like a gazillion dollars.

Ok in the last several minutes of any game the games usually get good, and that was doubly true as Shaub who i’m going against in fantasy threw a pick that could have been a catch by johnson down close to the 10 yard line. potentially it is something like a 12 point swing if u assume he would have thrown a TD pass soon afterwards if Johnson had caught it.

Speaking of more awesomeness Brett favre just through a TD pass to tie it up with 27 seconds left against arizona who I really want to loose.  Exciting.  annnnnddddd sanchez just ran in a TD… eventhough he probably didn’t get in at all.  Still DET is still up by three with a little over two minutes to play and they will have the ball.  Overtime In Minnesota HA.. HA HAAAAAA.

Ok enough of Brady’s baby moma, lets take a look at Brady’s other baby moma Giesel.

Peterson is awesome.  Vikes should be better this year, but I blame….. i don’t know, lets say Favre and his old penis.  Btw, did Geisel have a kid? I don’t know, she’s hot.  OMG Berrian actually caught a pass and didnt let it just go ricocheting off his hands.

Ok so Arizona lost which is good for me.  Sanchez got lucky in so far as that the lions had no idea what to do with the lead with less than two and a half minutes to go and now they are going into overtime.

STOP SHOWING COMMERCIALS FOR SKYLINE.  everytime they show a preview revealing a few more scenes and more information about the movie it just makes it worse.  This is toatally a less is more type of movie.  Just make it mysterious to get people into the theater and then count your money and feel bad for the people who actually went to see it.

God Damnit sanchez, The lions D is just exhausted so any catch has huge YAC possibilites which is why Folk is about to kick the game winning FG.  annnnnnd it’s good.  I kind of hate Rex Ryan too. Actually I hate a lot of things.  Ok let’s focus on something I don’t hate like T.O…………’s girlfriend (seriously, I still hate T.O)

whooooooooo Black Chicks. Ok now i’m watching the eagles V Colts which features a bunch of my fantasy guys… most of which are hurt, but I still need Garcon to do well.  It also features the Colts old uniforms which are very uninspired.  Ok let’s see some more ebony hotness.

blah blah blah football blah blah passing blah blah blah  BLACK CHICKS!!!!

She kind of looks like Gabrielle Union there… ughhhhh yet another semi racist statement about the resemblence of black women on my blog. damnit…. ok more black hotness.

Wow the eagels are taking the colts to the woodshead in the first quarter here. 10 points already and now they are on the goal line kicking a field goal.  speaking of… ummm. wood… BLACK CHICKS!!! whooooo!!!

Ok, good catch and run by Garcon on that last play, lets see if they can get a first down and keep this drive going. Wow, brown barely got it but he got there with some patient running. Commercial time. Ok lets take a look at something different, enough with hot black chicks lets check out a hot QB wife.

BOOM who also happens to be black. Sadly none of the pictures of her really do her justice.  Wow the Giants are beating the shit out of Seattle early in their game. NFC is tearing up today… so far.

Does anyone else think that the Etrade baby probably has an internet trading addiction.  Wow baby you spend all day trading stocks, how much money are you making??? what’s that… no money, cause you are so addicted to making trades that you don’t even care if they are good trades, it’s all about the rush?  you need rehab baby.  Come on Colts. Time for a TD to Garcon.  I bet Reid looses this challenege. In the mean time lets switch to another crazy hot NFL WAG…. in fact lets switch to the hottest of them all.

Angie Harmon, Fuck Jason Seahorn and his aweome life. I would cry after having sex with Angie Harmon every god damn time.  no matter how use I would get to banging her, I still wouldn’t feel worthy and would feel like it was a dishonor for me to touch her awesome awesome naked body.

No, no i’m not paying attention to the game since I know that from the one, there’s no way garcon is going to get the catch.  aaannndd he didnt’, but he did throw a great block. soooo no points but he should feel good about himself. speaking of feeling good, let’s see some more AH Hotness.

Not sure why the color on that photo is off, but who cares, she’s hot. She was also naked in one movie in case you are wondering. you can’t see a lot but, it’s still totally wank worthy since it’s her.

wait what’s going on? football?  oh yeah. ughhhh the eagels are kind of owning the colts but they need to punch it into the endzone cause they don’t want to be trading Field Goals for TDs against the colts in a shoot out. Although for me that would be crazy awesome since a bunch of passing TDs by the colts probably means Garcon gets at least one or maybe Austin Collie.

Damn Collie just took a shot from three eagels defenders and I’m wondering if the flag would have been thrown if he hasn’t been hurt on the play.  It didn’t look like he was defenseless first of all.  Ok now watching it again, it is bullshit.  If any of the Eagels get fined for that, ummm I’ll bitch to myself about it.

Well this injury kind of killed the mood all the hot chicks had set.  Especially the last 45 seconds of silence from both the crowd and commentators… seriously someone say something this is getting unerving. ok, now it’s almost been a minute and a half.  Ok one scentence. ummmmm show a promo or something…. ok i’m going to go take a dump. I might log back in for the evening games.

later

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