The Next Batman Movie

I happened to notice a side story about the next batman movie while on CNN that said…. ok fine… I’m not going to start this with a lie. I was on a website called and I was reading a recap of the most recent Smallville episode when I noticed a related story headline that said that the next batman villian would not be the Riddler.  I am ashamed of almost every word in that last sentence.

Since I’m a HUGE nerd, (although not compared to most people at Comicon) I wanted to try and guess who the vilian will be and also, what I would write as a story line if I was making the movie… you know in some reality where no one really cares about movies and just lets random people write huge franchise movies despite a total lack of experience or skill.

First step in deciding who the Batman villian is going to be in Nolan’s movie, we should probably start with a list of most of Batman’s well known villians.  Joker, Penguin, Riddler, Cat Woman, Bane, Scarecrow, Clayface, Deadshot, Harley Quinn, Mr Freeze, Killer Croc, Poison Ivy, Ra’s Al Goul, and Two Face.

There are still more villians obviously, but these are the most well known by the general public, although a couple like clayface and deadshot are probably unknown to anyone who didn’t either watch Batman on TV in some form or another or actually read the comics themselves.

Next step, elliminate the villians that would be impossible or impracticle.  First of all you can’t use the joker since Heath Ledger died and it would be insulting to try and replace him with someone else.  Scarecrow was the main bad guy in the first movie and a minor one in the second movie so it would be doubtfull that they use him as the main bad guy this time around.  Same could be said for Ra’s Al Goul especially since he kind of was supposed to die in the first movie…. or did he?????    Let’s ignore that possibility for now.

We can eliminate the Riddler since he’s already said no to using him, and I think it might be a safe bet to eliminate some of the more unrealistic villians like Killer Croc and Mr Freeze who wouldn’t be believable with the structure and realistic theme of the first two movies. Poison Ivy and Clay face could also fall under these catagories, and Harley Quinn wouldn’t make sense as the main bad guy since she is in love with the Joker, and would mean you would have to bring the Joker back as well.

So now we are down to the Penguin, Catwoman, Bane, Deadshot, and two face… oh wait, no two face died in the last movie, or at the very least he was supposed to look like he died.

Honestly, the Penguin’s whole penguin/bird thing is stupid and i’m sure wouldn’t be in the movie if he was used.  Catwoman is a master thief and really that kind of seems like something batman wouldn’t care about when compared to trying to take down the mob or a terrorist like the joker. Plus Catwoman is fairly sympathetic in terms of a bad guy and isn’t that often portrayed as a reverse mirror image of the good stuff batman is trying to do.  basically Catwoman as a bad guy wouldn’t be that compelling although it would have the possibility of adding in a whole love interest thing.

So then we have Deadshot who is just a really good assassin and Bane who was done no justice in that Batman and Robin movie that the made him look cartoonish in.  Ok, yeah he is kind of cartonish in the comic books since.. it’s not real pictures and just a drawings, but you know what I mean. Anyways, my guess is that Nolan is going for Bane for the main bad guy and then someone else as a supporting bad guy.

Here are some choice quotes from Bane’s Wikipedia page that should give you some quick back story on Bane and why he’s kind of badass.

Bane has been one of Batman‘s most intelligent and physically powerful foes. He is best known for breaking Batman’s back in the “Knightfall” story arc.

IGN‘s list of the Top 100 Comic Book Villains of All Time ranked Bane as #34

Oh fuck it, i’m not going to read the entire Wiki entry, I’m just going to pust what IGN wrote when they listed him at 34.

His plan to break the Bat was methodical, and worst of all, patient. Bane realized something his fellow Rogues did not: A full frontal assault against Batman is futile. Instead, Bane takes the long way around to weakening the Bat, by breaking down Arkham’s walls, letting its prisoners infect Gothamn once again and leave Batman on an exhausting three-month mission to lock them back up. During that time — and here’s where “being patient” comes in — Bane manages to find the Batcave and wait there to administer the final blow, whose impact still echoes today.

huh!?! pretty cool right?

So I’m guessing that Bane releases a bunch of criminals, maybe some of the minor ones that no one except comic book nerds know, but make them seem just like regular world gangster/bad guys.  Like make dead shot a mob assassin and clayface a make up artist/actor turned criminal, and killer croc a side show freak turned killer.

So if Batman gets his back broken that would be a hell of a cliff hanger before a second movie that resolves it, but I don’t think that is the plan.  So maybe bane doesn’t break his back, but just have him push batman to the limit and blah blah blah.

Another reason I think Bane is likely to be the bad guy is because Tom Hardy from Bronson and Inception is supposed to be in the movie.

Ok so what would my storyline be?

I thought that with the way the last movie ended, you could start out with a major manhunt going down where the city officials as well as some wealthy business owners like… the penguin?… the black mask?… I don’t know, anyways so there’s a reward out for batman and deadshot is going after him using bad tactics like staging bad guy stuff to draw the bat man, but obviously batman is money and doesn’t fall for it.

Um so then Bane gets hired to find Batman and does some of the stuff from the back breaking thing by releasing bad guys and that tires the batman out.  All this goes on as the Riddler tracks down who batman is cause you know, the riddler loves riddels or something, and bane follows the riddler to batman’s cave… actually, I guess you really either don’t need the riddler or dead shot.  You either put riddler in it but make bane not as intellegent, or you take out the riddler and put bane in as smart as he was in the comics.

My thing is, if Johnny Depp says yes to playing the riddler than you have to do it, but you have to make the riddler the major guy, maybe make him a part of the third act where in the first and second act you have batman over come the shitty bad guys and then bane but in the process he has to humiliate the riddler which leads to a riddle inspired final showdown between the two. Christ I don’t know.  Let me think about this for a minute or two while I watch the SNL women’s special.


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