Prediction of Dexter’s upcoming season

So I’m about to watch the season 5 premier of Dexter and I thought I’d jot down a few notes on what I think this season will bring.  First a quick recap of last season though:

Dexter has a new serial killer that he is going after… just like he does every year.  This serial killer makes him re-evaluate his life and how he interacts with his friends and family… just like he does every year.  Tracking this serial killer causes problems for Dexter both professionally and personally as the time requirements infringe on his other duties… just like it does every year.

Ok I’m poking fun at the show despite the fact that I really like it.  It is formulaic but not overly so, especially compared to other shows like burn notice, house, or virtually every show on TV right now.

The formula for Memphis beat is: Bad writting + contrived wornout plot + badly timed obvious comedic moments = terrible show

Ok so the big BIG development last year was Dexter got married, or maybe that was the previous year, has a kid, killed the 3rd rock from the sun guy, but not before he SPOILER killed dexter’s wife….. who was hot and I think had a boob job in the 3rd season.

One of the first google image search results for "julie benz boob job"

Lets jump into what I think is going to happen in season 5.

Police start to suspect dexter

Since he’s kind of creepy as fuck, more than a few people might suspect him of killing his hot blonde wife…. who is now a super hero on ABC with Vick Mackey.  Obviously he won’t be arrested or that heavily investigated cause then he couldn’t do anything with his spare time like murdering bad guys.  So just like Doakes in season 2, one of the detectives is going to take it on himself… or herself??!?!?! to investigate him.  My guess is that it has to end differently than what happens with Doakes and maybe this person finds the truth and then says he wants in on the vigilante justice.

Dexter’s mother in law comes to town

I forget the whole story from last year, but basically that woman was a bitch, tried to have the kids taken away because Dexter used a fake drug addiction as his excuse for why he was behaving the way he always did.  So now that the wife is gone, it makes sense for that beeeyatch to come back and try and take the kids back.

Police stop suspecting dexter but at the same time his sister starts to suspect him

This is kind of a follow up to the first prediction and it isn’t dependent on the first one coming true.  Maybe the season ends with his sister… who is soooo … disturbingly hot to me… finally realizing that her brother is a killer and we start next season with her not knowing how to handle it.

I.... I just want.... it's not the face... and her body is meh but... i don't know, i'd ruin her if given the chance.

the baby murders someone

This would be awesome… very unrealistic, but crazy awesome.

We almost get to see Dexter’s sister’s tits again but not really

This is another running theme in the show that probably adds to the reason I want to make sweet sweet fuck to her.  She’s naked like all the time on the show but is always covering up the goods cause the woman who plays her must be a god damn prude or something. Also, she’s married to the guy who plays Dexter in real life.

There’s a new serial killer in town…. and it’s a chick this time… who cares.

Why are all the serial killers guys.  There has to be at least one hot serial killer out there with a fantastic rack who, for some reason, always has to get naked when she kills someone.  Ok maybe she doesn’t need to get naked, since that would lead to a high chance of leaving behind trace evidence, but maybe she just kills while wearing sexy lingerie.  Seriously, you have to admit that would be a very compelling story line.

Julie Benz’s ghost will play devil’s advocate to Dexter’s ghost dad

Ok they aren’t ghosts, but just parts of his personality that share screen time with him.  Still this one is obvious and has to happen.  She will probably be pushing Dexter to be all about the family, while the dad is all like, Dude you shouldn’t be a father, dump the kids off with that bitch of a grandmother and go murder some bad guys like old times.

this picture has nothing to do with anything, but I just want another chance to show why I want to Bang her in th.... ewww her abs are kind of intimidating

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