In my continuing quest to write but not really try very hard, I present more stuff from the internet. The first Item I found several days ago, but thought it was hilarious. It’s from the always awesome cracked.com: http://www.cracked.com/blog/10-photos-capturing-moments-spontaneous-badassery/
The first picture isn’t that bad ass, but it is crazy awesome.
I have a theory that the guy in the background sipping on a beer while watching “Frank Stallone trying to forcibly gift-wrap Corey Haim to death” is the basis for the guy in those Duseques commercials.
My favorite quote for the most interesting man in the world is still “He had an awkward moment once.. just to see what it feels like.”
I could spend all day listing awesome articles and features from Cracked.com but i’m not going to cause … well i’m not. I was going to say that i’m not a big enough loser to do that, but let’s be real. So what else did I find online?
I saw this link, and I knew there would never be another moment in my life that I was a sure about anything as much as I was sure I was going to click that link. Before I do however I’m going to try and guess which monsters will be on the list.
- Smog Monster – such a shitty character that was some kind of no pollution PSA
- Mina – godzillas son… or daughter
- Mathew Broderick’s Godzilla – you know that stupid CGI peice of filth
- Agular – He was basically an ankelasaurs that looked terrible cause they had a full grown man in the costume crawling around on his knees… which meant the monster had hine legs and crawled on it’s knees like a moron who was too drunk to walk upright.
- King cesar – the only furry godzilla monster that I can remember
- Mothra – the list will have … her? on despite the fact that mothra kicked ass
- Jet Jaguar – It was an android that was so advanced that it reprogrammed itself so that it could morph into a giant the size of godzilla, but also was not advanced enough to make fluid non robotic moments, or speak in anything other than weird random computer noises.
- Giant Crab, Giant Praying Mantis, Giant Spider…. all of which were in the same movie…. that i still own on VHS.
So let’s check out the list:
Ebirah – that’s the name of the crab monster I guess
Gappa – holy shit, I never even heard of this one. It looks like a lizard had sex with a duck.
Gappa – Never heard of this guy either, but from what i’m reading it doesn’t sound like he’s actually a godzilla franchise monster but from some other movie series.
Pulgasauri – also not from Godzilla
Varan – a flying squirl version of Godzilla as explained by this article, and yet another Godzilla character I don’t recogonize
Batra – this is the evil version of Mothra from the more recent Godzilla movies, and once again I never heard of him. I’m starting to question my Godzilla credentials here.
Megalon – Horse Shit. Megalon was crazy awesome. Plus when he put his two hands together they formed a giant drill…. although why he never used it on godzilla in a fight is beyond me.
Biollante – Never heard of it but this is how this other website describes it “Biollante is a big, vicious… sentient rose bush that, depending on your opinion of Freudian symbolism, also betrays some serious female issues as his/her first form (Toho was kind of vague about the gender) is a flower with lots of teeth. Basically a mad scientist spliced DNA from a rose bush with DNA from his dead daughter, and then spliced in Godzilla’s DNA to try and save her. Confused? Good! So were we.”
Where the F was the smog monster. Fuck this list… actuall it’s probably pretty good for people who actually followed the last 15 years of new godzilla movies.
Continuing on with more internet goodness: http://www.ranker.com/list/top-10-clips-of-jon-stewart-destroying-fox-news/melodyyan
I think the first clip contains my second favorite Jon Stewart Daily show quote “I know I criticize you and Fox News a lot, but only because you’re a terrible, cynical and disingenuous news organization”
My favorite is still from the O’Reilly V Jon Stewart War on Christmas report where Jon says the words “Osama’s Homobortion Pot and Commie Jizzporium”
Heres some more classic comic book nerd humor from College humor: http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808189
I love anytime that Aqua Man is Clowned. In fact here is some more Aqua man clownige: http://www.cracked.com/blog/if-aquaman-comics-knew-how-much-aquaman-sucks/
and some kevin smith action from one of his Smodcasts: