More Quick Movie Reviews

Time again for some quick movie reviews.  These are the movie reviews I write when i do’t care enough, or have enough of an attention span to write a fully thoughtout review.

She’s not that into you

The older I get, the less I feel like watching gross out teen rom coms.  I lllloooooovvvvvveeeedddd American Pie back in the day, but now that i’m 30, I just can’t get excited to see yet another movie about some 18 to 24 year old losers who are inexperience3d with women, get put into “crazy” situations and try to find love with insanely hot women who really have no reason to be attracted to the protagonist in the first place.

That’s how I felt about Sex Drive before I watched it, yet I freaking loved that movie and found it to be hilarious.

I refuse to give this picture any contexts.

This movie, while not as hilarious, was still entertaining. There were some funny parts, but more imporantly Alice Eve is hot:

sooo hot th-.... wait, is she doing the sign for the diamond cutter or for the University of Miami?

I give this movie 7 out of 10 Alice Eve crazy hot underwear scenes.

Wonder Woman (animated Film)

Before you ask, no this isn’t some kind of anime porn, its one of those full length animated movies that Marvel and DC are doing more of in recent years.  i guess they are raking in the money with these, since the animation ifs fairly cheap since the technology and the charachter designs are already in place from the TV shows, plus you don’t have to get big name actors for the voice. (I don’t consider Keri Russel from Felicity playing Princess Diana a.k.a Wonder Woman to be a big name actor)

I had never cared about most DC comics and the only time I cared about Wonder Woman was when someone did a fan fiction photoshop of MeganFox dressed up as Wonder Woman.

…not that one


That being said, I liked the story and how they modernized it without loosing too much of the original material that the fans loved. (invisible plane, truth laso, awesomely boobtastic wonder woman coreset costume)  I was kind of hoping to see a few of the other super heroes from the DC universe show up, but this was wonder woman’s movie so they stayed absent.  I give this movie 7 out of 10 Olivia Munn Cosplays.


The only reason I am listing Avatar in my list of recently viewed movies reviews is because I recently watched this movie with Gamble who had never seen it before.  He had heard a ton of great things and watned to see if it lived up to the hype.  I told Gamble that to see the full effect, you really needed to see it in a theater, but watching it on Bluray should still be pretty cool.  Gamble doesn’t have a blueray player so we just watched a boring old redbox dvd of it.

The highlight of the movie for me, was the few scenes right after the evil mercenaires shoot down the big tree.  I convinced Gamble that it was the end of the movie and that it’s just one of those movies that has a sad yet emotional ending.  Gamble was supper pissed that they would end the movie like that, so when Michelle Rodriguez break Jake sully out of jail and gamble realised there was more to the movie, he tried to play it off like he knew all along that it wouldn’t end that way.

For me, I really liked the movie despite it being a giant cliche.  I think if you say you love Avatar, you have no right to ever critize someone who says they enjoyed transformers or the A-Team for being just fun action summer blockbuster type movies.  Avatar was visually stunning, in a blatant CGI kind of way, but the story wasn’t very complex and didn’t have very much depth.

Also, why did Michelle Rodriguez’s charachter accomplish virtually nothing in that final fight.  She had the element of surprise, and could have Messed up the bomber, but instead she just antagonized a ship or two and then just died.  That was stupid in my opinion.  ummmmmm I give avatar 8.5 outof 10 pony tail endral sex scenes.

Kick Ass

It may shock some of you to hear that I downloaded and watched a movie that was based on a comic book.  Sadly, it’s true. I did in fact download and watch Kickass which is based on some comic book I had never read or even heard of before.  Basically there are two types of comic books.  Mainstream comic books like Marvel and DC and then the indie comics that if really good can develop a big cult following.

Kickass falls into the later catagory… i think.  I really haven’t read comic books in over 15 years, and even back then I only read the silver surfer and a couple of X-men.  This movie was fun, witty, and kind of touching at times, and yes, it features Nicholas Cage screaming in pain (which is the version of Nick Cage most people seem to prefer).  I give this movie 7 out of 10 “Not the Bees”


I always wanted to see this movie, but just never got around to seeing it.  Once I heard they were making a sequal with Douglas and Shai Labouf, I decided to download it and get up to speed.

I give this movie 7.5 out of 10 slick back hair styles.


Yet another movie I watched recently with Gamble.  He saw the previous and thought it looked stupid, but I informed it was in fact, not stupid, and in reallity was quite awesome.  Everytime I watch this movie I pick up new things.  Also, JESUS CHRIST AMBER HEARD IS HOT.  I had to pause the movie to show Gamble a couple of choice scenes from “The Informers, which was a shity stupid movie that features Amber Heard Naked.

After watching three scenes from Crossing Over we went back to Zombieland and Gamble seemed to love it.  So did I, but I liked it ever since I saw it in the theater back in the day.  My only complaint with the movie is that Woody Harelson would totally have picked the bird shot out of the box of twinkies. Oh, I guess my only other complaint would be the lack of Ema Stone nakedness, but I have that same complaint of every movie I see.

I give the movie 8 out of 10 Sno Balls.


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