If I were writing the Avenger’s Movie

We all knew this day was coming; the day that I would write a post detailing my own super hero movie fan fiction.  Truthfully I would never actually write a piece of fan fiction, cause that’s just sad and pathetic, but I have no qualms about day dreaming about what story lines I would write.

Before I start my pretend writing I would have to take a lot into account with the Avenger’s movie.

  • Which Heroes are going to be in the Avengers in the movie
  • Who will play them
  • Who will the bad guys be
  • How unrealistic will the movie be (in terms of how realistic they are: Punisher < Iron Man < Spider Man < Fantastic Four)

Lets start with the last one first.  One of the reasons movies like the x-men, Spiderman, or Iron man works is that each hero is believable within their movie world.  In Iron man you have a world just like our with th eonly exception being that there are several people who are vastly superior in the field of technology. Iron man fights other bad guys who are super bad because of the technology they use.  In Spiderman you have a hero who is normal until he gets sudden super powers accidentally from an outside source, and the villains are pretty much the same.  In X-Men you have good and bad guys who have always had weird powers but are outcasts.

and then there's also Emo super heroes like Black Spiderman who can shoot unenthusiastic melodramatic webs at you.

So in all these cases the heroes and bad guys are relatively the same.  In an Avenger’s movie you would have to have a combination of people who are super because of either a life time of training, an accident, technology, or supernatural gifts.  This creates an odd blend that is just ignored in a comic book but might seem odd in a movie.

This is why I always thought Hulk and Superman movies were a bad idea unless  you put them in a world where they could fight bad guys on the same level as them.

or just have the hulk fight superman

Of course you could never have the Hulk fight Superman cause they are from two different comic book universes and that would just be plain silly.  Plus who would you root for, and how could either of them beat the other?  It’s just a silly idea that would never… what’s that?  They actually did that?

Dude, Storm is going to get destroyed by Wonder Woman

Ok let’s focus and get back to the subject at hand.  In the Avenger’s I guess you would have to decide between trying to explain how there is a world in which there’s Norse god’s, Gamma Ray Giant Green Monsters, Technologically insane battle armor guys, and one dude who can shoot arrows really good. (seriously, that’s Hawkeye. He’s an Avenger and all he does is shoot arrows.

"Seriously, I'm just like DC comic's The Green Arrow, but just with WAY less money"

So do you try to force some reasoning down the audience throat as to why the Avengers would need someone like Hawkeye or black widow who have absolutely no super powers when they already got Thor and The Hulk bench pressing mountains in their spare time?  I say you basically just ignore that and just assume that anyone buying a ticket to see the Avenger’s movie just won’t care about that.

That does kind of segue us into the next point. Who are the Villains going to be?  My thinking is that you have to have someone powerful enough to give Thor and the Hulk a run for their money.  Seriously, the Bad guy can’t be someone like Doc Oc or the movie will be over in 5 min after the hulk rips off the robotic arms and Thor caves in his skull with his big ass hammer.  Now the question is, do you bring a Norse God bad guy, A super Power Alien bad guy, or some human that is now super powerful?  No mater what you decide on, you need some regular quasi human bad guys as well, or Hawkeye is just going to be sitting back going “Fuck that, I’m not fighting him. That dude just picked up a bus and used it like a bat. I don’t have any arrows for a situation like this”

Here’s what I think would work.  Have the bad guys multi layered.  Have it start with some human bad guy like … Christ I don’t know, The Red Skull.  I don’t know anything about him, but lets just go with that.  He would be the bad guy through most of the movie and the only one we really know about.  Lets say that he has some ingenious plan where he turns either the Hulk on the Avenger’s or Thor on the Avengers.  So you have basically hulk vs thor with probably iron man and a little Capt America helping out the guy who isn’t brainwashed at the moment.

then this leaves Hawkeye and black Widow and Nick Furry to try to take down Red Skull who I guess is kind of super enhanced like Capt america so it is actually hard for them.  They defeat Red Skull which frees The Hulk, but we learn that Red Skulls real motives for turning the hulk bad was so that he could detract the Avengers while he some how did something I don’t know.  Ok let’s just throw in Ultron.

yeah this guy. He's some kind of awesome terminator I guess.

So *sigh* the original Ultron was created by Hank Pym (a.k.a Ant Man) who was a member of the Avenger’s and is supposed to be a caracter in this movie.  Hank Pym is super smart like Reed Richards (a.k.a Mr Fantastic) but he’s kind of a dick and in the comic use to beat his wife and made Ultron to beat up the Avengers just so that he could show up and save the day at the last minute.  Well when he showed up he couldn’t save the day and all hell broke loose.

I’m thinking that maybe you use Ultron here but set it up that Ant Man (Who has the power to get really small…. like my penis) created him as a last resort to bring down the Hulk. Pym uses a bunch of Iron Man technology and tosses in some other technologies like the almost invincible stuff they make Capt America’s shield out of, and maybe other stuff.

So Red Skull did all of this just to get Hank to finish Ultron which he then unleashes on all the Avenger’s, but wait there’s more.  Someone has to come up with the idea that this was all to complex (maybe they think this after they beat ultron) for red Skull to set in motion.  Here’s where the layering comes in.  It was actually Loki, Thor’s evil step brother who set all of this in motion and was the puppet master of the red skull. Next thing you know, Loki revives Ultron using some Norse Magic or whatev, and now the fight is really on.

Holy shit am I smug

So maybe, Loki, uses Ultron as a Suit to make him even more powerful.  Ugh, whatever I don’t care.  Look, All I really wanted to get to, was the idea of throwing in The Infinity Gauntlet into Avenger’s II.

Once the first movie is out of the way, and everyone is like, oh cool, the Avengers was good and didn’t seem disjointed and Campy, I can’t wait to see them raise the stakes on the next movie, that’s when you throw in Thanos and the Infinity Gauntlet.  For those who don’t know; Thanos is like a space god on the save level as the silver surfer who collected all of these rare cosmic gems which when put together gave him complete control over the universe.  He then used this control to kill half the population of the universe which was his way of flirting with the God of Death who he’s in love with.

Fuck you, It's actually cooler than it sounds.

So, here’s a completely nerdy thing I learned from reading a bunch of the Comic Con posts on nerd websites: The actual Infinity Gauntlet itself is going to be used as a prop in the background of Odin’s throne room in the Thor movie.  So how bad ass would it be if at the end of the first Avenger’s movie they have one of those after the credits scenes where you see Thanos sneak into Odin’s throne room and take the Gauntlet which only has one of the six gems. (see Odin and everyone is distracted by Thor and Loki battling on Earth.

So to promote the next Avenger movie revolving around the Infinity Gauntlet, you could have ending scenes at the end of all the other comic book movies that come out in the mean time that shows Thanos gathering the remaining gems.  Like he could be seen getting a gem from Mephisto who we last saw in the Ghost Rider Movie.  Then he gets one from Galactus who we saw in The Fantastic Four.  Plus you could also have end of credits or previews or whatever that shows a bunch of the other super heroes getting killed in Thanos’ extermination of half the universe.

The best part is for those scenes you could kill off spiderman, Ghost Rider, Juggernaut, whoever and you wouldn’t have to worry about actually getting the actual actors who played them.  You could get them if you wanted since it would just be them standing there in costume and then vanishing and wouldn’t be a big commitment to them.   Plus you could tailor the Avengers II plot and action around who you could get to play the characters.  If you can’t get Hugh Jackman to play wolverine, than just say his character was killed in the extermination.  If the guy who played Reed Richards has nothing to do and needs the money than have him be one of the guys who lived.

Although this could backfire when you have guys who have played multiple super heroes in multiple movies.

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