Ok I am moving the blog over to

This site is safe for work as long as you don’t wander into the eye candy section or click on a link that says NSFW. That stands for not safe for work in case you are not web savy…. or really stupid. My first blog entry over there can be found at.

As far as the graphics and content go.

I want to make the “softly” in the main logo pink, but something is screwed up with the code that is making it grey scale. Plus in the stormy black ans white cloudy thing below i want to put Pink spades, hearts, diamonds, and clubs in there. I think the black and grey off set with the hot pink will look hot.

there really isn’t any content since I only got the basic set up yesterday. I need to add in more menu items as well. I’m thinking of putting in Video Clip section exclusively for Celebrity jeopardy, Will Ferrel stuff, MXC painfull eleiminations, Family Guy, and Simpsons.

Plus i want to put links to top sports, pop culture, and political news stories on here. That way it’s not just mindless college humor. incedentaly there is actually a website called for just that sort of thing.

If you have any suggestions for content please email me at


Rednecks and poker

I played a $10 160 player tournament on Noble poker last night but didn’t finish in the money. I started with 1000 chips and never got higher than 1200 at any point. I also never got a pocket pair but still made it to 32nd place where i busted out. I was happy with how I played but If you play for almost two hours you would think you would get at least one pocket pair, or maybe even AK. Oh well. the top 20 paid but I had no choice but to go all in trying to steal blinds with A3 suited and got called by Q9. two nines on the board sealed my fate.

That was last night. This morning i got up early to celebrate christmas with the family. My sister and her ex. boyfriend got me a jeff foxworthy redneck calendar. i was reading through it and found a couple that reminded me of Mace.

You Might be a Red Next (tom mace) if…

  • You’ve ever had your picture taken next to a Dale Earnhardt Coke Machine.
  • You think the last four words of the national anthem are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
  • Your cell phone plays “Sweet home Alabama.”
  • Locating everyone for your class reunion took less than an hour.
  • Your kids’ school bags have dale earnhardt stickers on them.
  • Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom.
  • You practice holds on your dog while watching TV wrestling.
  • Your car has never had a full tank of gas. (ok that one is for Ray)

There was also one that said something to the affect that you know a sock can be used as a substitue of toilet paper.

Happy holidays


fairly kickass week so fat

Ok so the begining of the week started out kind of slow since everything i worked on last week at work was suppose to start this week, but will get pushed back till janurary. Great. That means i had nothing to really work on this week. Instead of just sleeping at work I decided to develop a new database for my department that will track and automate a bunch of the little mundane stuff we do for each training class. Plus this way it will be fater, easier and have reporting capabilites.

In order to get all of the functionality out of the database that I wanted I first had to learn how to do some minor Visual Basic for applications programing. I got the hand of the old Dim stament and put some Me!qryStudentSelection.requery here and there, and BAM. A kick ass piece of programing ready to go into a user friendly form. Sweet. Wait a minute, but my reports won’t calculate the way I want them to. Well then I whiped out a book on SQL programing and put in a little SELECT with a dash of FROM, and a pinch of WHERE and i got a query that can calculate totals the way i want before they go into the reporst. That’s what I’m talking about.

So work was good and so was everything in FNF land. Wednesday night was the first ever FNF online tournament held at noble poker. When I signed up for the tournament the form i filled out had 8:00 as the time of the tournament. I figured that was late enough for most people to be home from work. So i told everyone is started at 8:00, and even when i and mike h, fiddler, six, or anyone else sign up did we notice the start time was set for 7:00. So we needed a minimum of 10 people to play the tournament and it was 2 of 7 before we got roco’s sister registerd as the 10th player.

Luckily everyone got to the tournament on time (an hour early) and we started at 7:05. The tournament didn’t take very long, and i was happy with a 3rd place finish and a $20 profit. Sean (from tamaqua) finished in 1st with a $80 profit, and fiddler (from the world tavern poker tour that six plays) finished in 2nd for a $60 profit. I was glad to see that Rocco’s sister played well since it was her first time playing online. She came in 5th, two short of the money. This first tournament was $20 but future tournaments will probably be only $5 or $10 so that we can get more people playing.

As far as christmas presents go I think I got some good ones for the few people i get presents for. So that’s another plus.

I just finished a book tonight. It’s called 1776 and is about the year 1776 in america. It focuses exclusively around the revolutionary war lead by General Washington. It was a really good book, filled with an insane number of quotes and refrences. I really liked reading about how the soldiers viewed washington as a leader. Granted there were times when he was indecisive and there was a possibility of another General taking over command after the retreate from New York. Still, most soldiers who saw him were awe struck. I need to start awe strucking people.

I also saw a kickass movie last night which i’ve wanted to see for a while. It’s called 4 brothers and is about the 4 adopted sons of a social worker. Well the mother gets killed in what looks like a robbery, but it turns out to be a hit. The 4 brothers who have been leading somewhat innocent lives thanks to the influence of their mother, come home and avenge her death. Granted it doesn’t sound like a great movie if you read that, but then again try reading a snyopsis for the god father, ET, Star Wars, or the Usual Suspects. Any movie that has to be summed up in a two scentence blurb will sound stupid.

Tomorrow after work i’m going to go down to hanover area and meet up with Stutz and Murphy. I haven’t seen Murphy in over 2 years so it should be a good time. We’ll probably just end up drinking at the inn town where Casey works. He’ll get a discount on some shots. Hopefully this time when I do a flaming Dr. Pepper my hand won’t catch on fire.


Poker and random thoughts

So tomorrow is the first ever FNF online event. To hold the event we need at least 10 players to register by 8:00 pm tomorrow night. So far there are 5 people registed at the site and there are a bunch of people who have said they are going to play. Aside from the 5 that are registerd six says that one person he knows is a deffinate while Chise and one other guys are still up in the air. The one guy I work with is going to see if noble poker supports MAC and if it does he’s in. I also talked with two of the women I work with and there is a possiblity they might play as well. Rocco is probably going to play, but something might come up at the last minute. Kantner will play as long as his internet connection is working, and Ray will play if he gets home in time from the work party he has to go to. One of the mace brothers will probably be playing but it would be better if they would both be able to play.

So if hypothetically all of those people signed up that would bring our total to 16.

Hopefully some of these people invite their friends. I know that Tobey has a bunch of poker playing friends, so it would be great if some of them would want to sign up. I know the one woman where I work said that most of her friends play as well. (on a side not this woman is one of the most attractive women i’ve ever met who i will nevvveerrrr flirt with. her boyfriend is evidently some 11th degree blackbelt, and as many of you know I can’t fight and would openly cry if ever punched in the face.) Most of mace’s friends up in tamaqwa play as well, so I’d like to see them play eventhough they are all a bunch of redneck hillbillies. Ok that’s an overexageration but i still hate the amount of camo i see whenever I vist the Mace estate.

If you lost the link to noble poker here it is. Once you sign up there you can deposti moeny and then sign up for the FNF winter wonder land tournament located under the special section of the tournament section. The password is “FNF” all in caps but without the quotes.

Ok this has nothing to do with poker but, I went to the mall with Gamble on sunday cause I was bored and he needed to buy his girl friend a diamond necklace for Christmas. So I immediatly becasme bored as he kept asking for my advice on which hear shape necklace looked the best. As soon as my ADD started to kick in I headed over to the watches section. I started looking at the guys watches while at the same time reminding myself that I am poor with no prospects of BLING in the future. I thought about how rappers have insanely expensive watches covered in diamonds.

Feeling jelous of nelly and Jay Z, I decided to trick myself into thinking that dimond covered wrist watches are stupid since diamonds are for women. Granted I only thought this because I’m poor. Kind of like how every time I get shot down by an attractive woman, I just tell myself that I really didn’t want her anyways. The word bitch or lesbian usually pop up to help reinforce my asinide stance. Anyway I started to think “Hey what would a real manly watch be like, if it wasn’t going to have diamonds on it?” So here are the features that a REAL MAN’S watch should have:

Leather strap – You also get a piece of steak from the cow that was killed in order to make the leather on your man’s watch
SteeL Casing – The steel comes from pittsburg as does a case of “Iron City” beer to help wash down the stake.
PLexiGlass cover – Instead of delicate/pussyfied glass we use plexiglass to cover the face of the watch. This way your watch won’t get scratched or broken next time your loading up the back of your Super Duty Truck with random pieces of metal, wood, stone, and brick.
Oak Face Plate – That’s right, the face plate will be real oak with the numbers burned into the wood. Plus you can take satisfaction when you show a tree hugging hippie that a tree was “murdered” just so that you could have a watch worthy of a lumber jack.
Granite Hands – The hands on this watch will be made of polished granite. No wait make that unpolished granite. Or maybe fake unpolished granite if it is too hard to make granite into tiny hands for a wrist watch.
Alchol Batery – As opposed to most other batteries running on ankaline, our battery will run off of rum or beer.
Only men can sell the watch – Well actually only men, or large brested women who know what’s good for them. Also any man who is licened to sell the watch must at no point in his life ever worked at a mall department store like the gap, structure, or bed bath and beyond. If you try to point out that bed bath and beyond is not a clothing store then you are automatically inelligable for ownership of the Man’s Watch.
Tank Gears – Every gear in the Man’s Watch is made from recycled WWII tank parts. The only Exception is the sports model which has gears made up from recycled M16s.

Any suggestions on how to improve the MAN’s Watch are appreciated as long as your not a skirt wearing sissy pants commie.

Ok I gotta go bake some brownies for the pot luck holiday work party tomorrow. I’m going to put just a hint of peanut butter and caramel into mine.


Dope night for FNF

Friday night was a great night for me eventhough I dropped to 8 fo 10 in money finishes after being knocked out around 80 th place way short of the money. The reason it was a dope night was because 4 out of the 7 fnfers at the Pennbrook tournament finished in the money. I wish it had been 7 of 7 but that’s unrealistic since there were 127 players and only the top 18 places paid. Still I was really impressed with everyone of those guys in the money. E-Mace came in 13th which was great concidering he never had more than 3800 chips. T-Mace on the other hand had over 7000 at the first break but wasn’t able to really do much after the break with the chip lead. He finished the best out of the fnfers taking down 9th place when he went all in with KK against another all in with KK and one more person who had them both covered with A something. Well the flop was A 9 7 i think. This gave T-Mace 0 outs after the flop. That sucks.

Ray finished in 12th after getting short stacked with very little options, he did wish everyone a happy holiday as he busted people out throught the tournament though. Six went into the break with only 1000 chips, and was up to over 11,000 only an hour later. He lasted till 11th. Six had a shot at winning the tournament but he got tangled up in a tough situation when he was in the big blind. The small blind had been stealing six’s blinds, so after the small double the big blind six called with J 10 off. I probably would have made the same play i’m sure. The flop comes down A J x. The small blind checks, and six moves all in. Six had the small covered, and the small blind calls immediatly. The small had A x (x being pretty small) and held up to win the hand. I think Six lost something like 7000 on that hand, which severly crippled him.

Some other things to note about this event.
– Mike H made his first pennbrook apperance along with E-Mace’s first apperance.
– Noze somehow never payed his $25 entry fee.
– Pops was down to 80 chips put quadrupled up to 320 only to get nocked out on the very next hand.
– Six was ready to punch out the people at his one table because they kept trying to correct six on the amount of money that was supposed to be in the pot. Of course they were all wrong and six was right. Six actually had to give a complete recap of all the action on the hand for the rest of the table to final understand that six was right.
– Six was even more ready to punch out the table on the next hand when they once against questioned six, eventhough six was once again clearly right.
– To celebrate the fnf sucess we all hit up the Colonial Park Dinner after T-Mace busted out.
– i stepped in a pot hole filled with water on the way to the tournament, so my right foot was soggy and turned wrinkle toward the end of the tournament.
– the wilfered brimly lookalike remembers my name, but I don’t remember his real name.
– Herman (Stutz Sr.) has been nominated as an honorary FNF member by me and ray. He finised in 15th place I think.

One other thing to note is the mathmatical problem six presented to me and Noze. Six asked if there are 8 fnfers and 18 starting tables. What are the odds that two FNFers end up at the same starting table. Three fnfers ended up at the same table but that is only cause the tamaqua chapter of FNF showed up 1 minute before the start of the tournament. Well i don’t know statistics but i do know programing, so I built a Visual Basic program to tell me what the percentage was. Now in the interests of time I only built the program to analyse 5 players out of 18 tables. Plus I never fully learned visual basic, and the last time i used it was 4 years ago, so this was more of a learning exercise than anything. So I break about my “Automating Microsoft Acces with VBA” book so that I had some clue as to what I was doing. Well below is the program i wrote.

Private Function test()
Dim players As Integer
Dim tables As Integer
Dim Total As Integer
Dim laps As Integer
Dim lapsA As Double
Dim lapsB As Double
Dim lapsC As Double
Dim lapsD As Double
Dim lapse As Double
Dim A As Integer
Dim B As Integer
Dim C As Integer
Dim D As Integer
Dim E As Integer
Dim f As Integer
Dim CounterTotal As Double
Dim Counter As Double
players = 8
tables = 18
Total = 0
laps = 0
A = 0
Counter = 0
For laps = 1 To 18
A = laps
For laps A = 1 To 18
B = lapsA
For lapsB = 1 To 18
C = lapsB
For lapsC = 1 To 18
D = lapsC
For lapsD = 1 To 18
E = lapsD
For lapse = 1 To 18
D = lapse
CounterTotal = CounterTotal + 1
If A = B Then Counter = Counter + 1
If A = C Then Counter = Counter + 1
If A = D Then Counter = Counter + 1
If A = E Then Counter = Counter + 1
If A = f Then Counter = Counter + 1
If B = C Then Counter = Counter + 1
If B = D Then Counter = Counter + 1
If B = E Then Counter = Counter + 1
If B = E Then Counter = Counter + 1
If C = D Then Counter = Counter + 1
If C = E Then Counter = Counter + 1
If C = f Then Counter = Counter + 1
If E = D Then Counter = Counter + 1
If E = f Then Counter = Counter + 1
If f = D Then Counter = Counter + 1
Next lapse Next lapsD Next lapsC Next lapsB Next lapsANext laps
Debug.Print “Results”
Debug.Print CounterTotal
Debug.Print Counter
End Function

Not very pretty, but i told Six that with 6 players there would be a 55% chance of there being two of us at one table. Well driving back from the dinner friday night i realized I made a huge error in my programing. Basically what i did in the program is say ok take player a b c d e f and first place them all at table one, then take them and place all of them at table one except f who will be at table 2, then repeat and put f at table 3. This loop would keep repeating till every possible scenario would come out. In each loop after the players were assigned a seat i would compare where they are sitting and anytime there were more than one fnfer at the same table a counter would add one to its running total. There was also a counter adding up the total number of scenarios. So to find the percentage I was taking the number of scenarios where more than one fnfer was at the same table and dividing it by the total number of scenarios.

Here’s the problem. When counting the number of scenarios where there were multiple fnfers at the same table i was sometimes counting a scenario double. Let’s say that Players A and B were at table 3 and players C and D were at table 7. I would count this as two instead of just one. So the section where I have all of the If statments, should have been put into an If then else format so that if at any point any If statment is true than it adds one to the counter and moves on without comparing any of the other subsequent logic statments.

I was so pissed about this that I actually went into work on Saturday to double check that I was wrong, which I was. So now what I’m really wondering is if there is a better way to do the if then else statment. Oh well Noze should be hearing back from his professor about how the mathmatical forumula for this should work. My guess is that it is around a mid to high 40s maybe into the 50s but i’m not sure.

I tried to reprogram my logic with the correct if then else statments, but for somereason the macros have been disabled because of the security settings.


big hand from last week

Ok last week i improved my record to 8 for 9 in money finishes at these fire hall tournaments. I wrote down my strategy and some observations but I didn’t talk about any of my big hands that night. In most of these tournaments I stay away from trouble early on but this past week I played alittle bit risky at the beggining. This hand that i’m about to discuss is not really that big of a deal in terms of number of chips, people getting knocked out, or lucky cards. I think this hand is just interesting if you look at it from each players posistion.

Blinds 20 / 40 I’m in the small blind. The 2nd person to act calls the big blind of 40. He has won 3 out of the last 6 pots by betting big and not showing any cards. His chip stack is probably close to 2000 while mine is just around 900. It is folded around to me in the small blind and I look down to find QsQh. There is 100 in the pot right now and I raise my small blind up to a total of 120. the big blind folds and the early posistion caller calls another 80 chips. With high pocket pairs I want some action but not too much action, so one caller is a pretty good situation, just as long as a King or Ace don’t come on the flop. And the flop comes down Kc 6d 7d.

ME QsQh HIM ??
Board Kc 6d 7d

Crap. That’s not the type of flop I like to see, but i’m happier to see a king than an ace. People are a lot more likely to play any Ace-x then they are to play any King-x. The guy who called preflop is first to act and he bets 300. If he had checked I would have bet the pot trying to win the hand with a continuation bet. Now i have to decide what type of hand does this guy probably have. Well he could have a King and another high card. If that’s the case then his bet makes scense since he would be trying to force out any flush draws. He could have a pocket pair. That doesn’t make a lot of sense since he probably would have raised preflop with a pocket pair. The only possible pocket pair he migh have here is pocket 6 or 7. If he had a pocket pair of JJ or less he probably wouldn’t bet the flop with the king there. If he has Aces he wouldn’t have just called my preflop raise. If he has KK then he probably would have reraised pre flop as well. He could have suited connectors and have either a flush draw or a striaght draw. This sounds about right since it would warrant a preflop call and a semi bluff after the flop. Infact if he has a straight flush draw he would have a 53% chance of winning the hand at this point.

This sounds like it should be an easy fold but I don’t like the prospect of being down to 800 with the blinds soon going up to 50 / 100. Plus you can’t always play like your affraid of someone else having the nuts. Another factor that made this a tough decision is the fact that this guy had been raising a lot of pots and winning a lot of pots without showing any cards or for that matter strength. Still i knew there were too many hands that had me beat and that if I called I would only have 500 chips left, and basically be pot commited. I fold my hand face up to let him know, and more importantly, the rest of the table know that I was playing a premium hand with my preflop raise. What I really wanted to get from showing my hand was my opponent to show me his. Which he did. He had K8 of diamonds. So not only did he have top pair, but he had the 2nd nut flush draw and a back door striahgt draw. I on the other hand only had one out since the Q of diamonds would have given him a flush.

This isn’t a great or amazing play by me or anything I just think it was a missed opportunity by him, and I’m not sure I agree with the way he played the hand. Let’s look at the hand progression from his point of view.

Blinds 20 / 40 I have about 2000 chips and have one 3 out of the last 6 hands by being aggressive before and then after the flop. I’m in early posistion and have K8 of diamonds. With 7 people still to act I probably don’t have the best hand right now, but it has some promise if I can see a cheap flop and either hit the King or get a flush draw. I call the 40. Everyone folds around to the small blind who raises it to 120 total. So far the small blind has only played 2 hands, both times cause he was in the big blind and saw the flop for free. This is his first pre flop raise and he’s raised off about an 8th of his stack. The big blind who has been calling everything folds and now it costs me 80 to go after 200. I’m getting slightly better than 2 to 1 odds but chances are that my K8 is more than a 3 to 1 underdog here. Maybe the raiser has a low pocket pair like 77. if that’s the case then I’m almost even money with him. If I am up against a higher pocket pair than I can make up my bad pot odds preflop by getting more money out of him post flop. If he has JJ or QQ it might be hard for him to lay that down to a flush or king on the board. I call and now there is 280 in the pot.

The flop comes down Kc 6d 7d. This is a great flop for me. If I’m up against AK or AA I’m smoked unless I get another dimond or 8. If i’m up against A-x of diamonds then I’m ahead right now and there aren’t as many diamonds left in the deck for that person to hit the nut flush. If my opponent has pocket 66 or 77 then I’m behind but can still make my flush and take the pot. I’m first to act so I need to decide how to act. If he has a made hand like a high pocket pair then I should check assuming that he will bet, and I can check raise him. If he is on a draw I should bet so that he doesn’t see free cards that will beat me. The only way that he could be on a draw is if he had A-x suited. If he had AQ of diamonds than his play preflop made scence. Maybe AJ of diamonds make scence, but none of the other A-x hands make scene for him to raise preflop. So chances are slim that he’s on a draw.

If he has hit a set then he will probably bet after I check so that I don’t see a free card with a flush draw on the board. If he has a king with a higher kicker it would have to be AK or KQ to make scence with the preflop raise. With either of those two he will be if I check, and I can semi bluff with the flush draw. If he has a high pocket pair less than KK then he might bet if I check, thinking that my check shows that I don’t have a king. Then I can reraise and probably take the pot right there. I bet 300 just to play it safe. It’s early in the tournament and 280 is still an important pot. I’ll go over 2000 chips and be in strong posistion to pick on shorter stacks preflop.

The small blind folds showing QQ. Dang. He was basically only drawing to one out unless he hit runner runner for a full house. I should have checked to see if I could get him to bet. Well this is the 4th hand in 7 that i’ve won. without showing my hand. People will probably start to think i’m bluffing all the time. I show my hand so that everyone sees that my raises are a sign of good cards. This should hopefully allow me to steal some pots later on with my big chip stack. The small blind nods his head as if he knew exactly what hand I had. He didn’t of course he’s just some abnoxious tight assed player who thinks he’s better than everybody. I know they type. He’ll play tight then loose some all in race where he had a 1 or 2 % advantage and then he pulls a hellmuth and complains about how the other player played the hand. Chances are that guy only makes it into the money one out of every 6 tournaments.

ok back to being biglazy. If that guy had checked after the flop i would have bet 200 and probably have called an all in raise. Either way he risked 80 preflop to go after 200 with a hand that should only be played if you know that when you hit the hand you’ll make an extra 200 or more out of the hand. It’s like when Doyle talks about playing suited connectors in NL Holdem. The best time to play suited connectors is against AA or KK. The reason is that if you hit the flop your oponent will probably go all in, while you will easily fold if you don’t hit the flop. This gives you the proper expected value pot odds.

I gotta get back to work.