The Question on everyones mind

Having just filled up my truck with over priced gas, I was standing in line at the gas station waiting to pay, when I caught a glimpse of yet another front page headline on the sunday paper reporting of increased trouble in the middle east. Usually on my blog I don’t delve into social issues of great importance but I think It’s about time I answer… or attempt to answer the question that is on most peoples minds. That question of course is, If you could have one super power what would it be? I know that this is not a popular question for some because of the inherant controverial nature, but I feel it time that as a nation we open up a constructive dialouge to find an answer to this question.

Because this question is so complex I will need to add some qualifiers to my answers before I begin.

1. Omnipotance is not a super power.
2. Only one superpower can be chosen as my number one choice.
3. Alternate superpowers will be chosen in the intrest of openeing up a debate on each powers qualifications.
4. A super power must be specific. This means I can not say “The powers of superman”.
5. A super power can not create additional super powers. This means I can not say “The power to create infinite super powers”
6. These powers would be used in today’s world, not a hypothetical super hero world.
7. Rules of nature and physics need not apply to the superpower because the concept of super powers is in of it’s self fantasy and there fore not bound by science.
8. The fantasy aspect of a super power can only apply to the specific super power and not to the “side effects”, Any side affect would need to be easily explained by science or logic. For example, If my super power was super strength I couldn’t say that this would also give me invinciblity unless I came up with a specific reason why.

With those rules out of the way I present to you my number one choice along with a list of alternates.

1. The ability to manipulate time (Quantum Leap time travel, not 12 monkeys time travel) – I already know that this is going to be controversial number one pick because of the potential impact rule 7 and 8 would have on this. I feel that implied in the ability to move through time, would be the fact that doing so would allow you to alter the future, and that your mind would retain everything you already know, but your body would adjust to the time you have moved into. So if I travel back to grade school I would have all my current memory but i would be a little kid, if I travel to the future I would age as well. Now the side effects of time travel I just listed can be argued a couple of different ways. Maybe I never age during time travel but only age while i’m in a certain time period. I can accept that Over all I just want the ability to freeze time, or go back and change things when I do something stupid.

2. (first Alternate) – Ability to read minds. I like the super powers that are not painfully obvious. I would love to read minds because of all the cool shit you could find out from people. This would also help my poker game, and would give me an edge with the ladies.

3. The super power of knowing who someone has slept with and the quality of said encounters. This power really should be lower on the list but it ranks at number three cause of it’s uniquness. Some times i’m at work and I see two people talking to each other, and I think… hmmmm I wonder if those two ever hooked up. If you have never worked in an office enviroment where the potential for adultry is high than you probably don’t understand this aspect of this super power. The other cool part of this super power is I could make a website or something and report on which celebrities are hooking up. Then if I get sued I can give the quality and details of the encounter under oath and then the celebs would have to admit that I was telling the truth so what I am saying is not slandeerous or liable…ess.

4. Super Strenght… without being any larger than a normal in shape man. Part of this power would be the ability to control how strong I am trying. So if I try to hold a glass of milk I don’t always smash it in my hand, but if I want to pull a Superman pimptastick move and squeeze a piece of coal and make a diamond for a hot bid than I could do that without a ton of strain.

5. Mind control. I like the reading minds thing better but I would settle for this just as long as after the mind control is over the women… I mean person who may or may not have been mentaly forced to engage in sexual intorcorse with me, would not ever realized that they were mind controled but rather some how rationalize that it was something she wanted to do.

5. Super Speed – Now we are in the crate and barrel of super powers, but this is still important to note as an alternate.

6. Invisibility. It is important that this is the kind you can turn on and off, and not the invisible man type. Ohhhhh and have you ever really listened to the words of that clay akin song “If i was invisible”? If you really listen to what he’s saying he is basically saying that he is a peeping tom rapists. Listen to the song if you don’t believe me. I wouldn’t do that with these power. I would only use my powers for good to slightly evil reasons. Never for blatintly evil reasons.

Well those are my top choices. If you have any other suggestions post it on the friday night felt forum or email me MikeJohnson@fridaynightfelt.com

later
Lazy

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